Our parents pick our name, sometimes before we are even born. Putting changing one’s name aside, our names gather the energy of who we are. People get images of a Jane, a John, a Damian, a Fabio or a Lolita! A name might signal a cultural influence, the mood of the parents at your birth or the hopes/dreams they wanted for your lifetime. In any case, your name becomes a part of you in many ways. In most cultures, when we address someone in person or in mail, we use the person’s name first in a salutation. We then write our note and then end with our own name.
Texting changes things
The more recent onset of cell phone texting tends to cut to the chase and eliminates the familiar greeting of “Hi Jane” and just goes to the “what are you up to?” since the note is meant to be short. Both parties have agreed, when they text each other, to be less formal by use of this method of relaying information. Usually, one doesn’t text an individual that isn’t familiar. In other words, the relationship is established.
Or should it?
But should the advent of texting convey to the world of email or more formal snail mail? Let’s say that someone is sending you a greeting card and they write your name, “Estella” on the envelope but do not write it on the inside of the card. Instead, they just write, “Love, Ed” after the nice words that American Greetings has created. Now how does Estella feel when she reads a card that does not have her name at the top of these nice words and just a signature at the bottom? Perhaps it will be accepted that Ed really is directing his feelings towards her. My take is that Ed is either not thinking about it and is just being “short”, or, what I really believe, is that it’s a way to skirt his real feelings. I think this manner of not directly addressing the person in the header or top of the card is a way of being emotional vacant. He really doesn’t want to commit but is doing his best to pretend that he does. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the relationships where this type of behavior has occurred and then see if the guy or girl has committed to a serious involvement. The answer is telling.
Let’s get back to email
So here we are back at the email message where our friend (perhaps) Ed is writing a note but leaves off the salutation, yet does sign with his name at the end. This may be common, but personally, I find it rude and rather offensive. Does he realize how rude he’s being in his rush to interact that he just doesn’t care how he comes off including creating really negative energy? Maybe it’s the lifestyle we lead. People are always in such a hurry. So wise up all you “Eds” out there! Be polite, slow down, and remember to use your contact’s name. In the end, there will be a more polite and positive energy exchange for everyone.
Joanne's StarTeacher Blog 