Knowing when to let go of relationships


Life as we know it in the physical plane is not meant to be lived alone. We are here to learn lessons and that usually means that we need to mirror those lessons against others, whether it is at home with family and friends, or at work. We can try to protect ourselves from the pain and vulnerability of being in relationships, but that normally only serves to stunt our growth; thus, such an approach is counterproductive. We may save a bit of heartache by not being in relationship, but we will also suffer loneliness, alienation, and perhaps depression. Thus, what we try to get away from will come back to bite us.

One of the important characteristics of the physical world, in which the soul is born, is that it is a duality. That is, we have choices which must be made carefully in order to keep us out of trouble. Making choices that are in our best interest and for the highest good of all concerned is where the concept of discernment comes into play. There is always a continuum for any situation – a good choice for us but not so good for others; a bad choice for us but perhaps better for others; and then there are choices which take both sides into account and play out in such a way that soul growth for the individual is possible while taking into account the welfare of the others in the equation. This is how the best relationships are conducted.

ImageAnd then there is how we get into relationships in the first place. I believe that every person we come into contact with for more than a mere glance is meant to teach us some lesson at a soul level. It is always our choice if we are ready and willing to learn the lesson, however. So let’s say that we meet someone and we see signs that there are lessons to be learned. The signs can come in many forms – there can be synchronicities in birthdays, colors that both people wear at the same time, just the feeling/knowing, a dream or angelic revelation, etc. Sometimes each has some trait that is opposite in the other – such as one is overly masculine and needs to take on more feminine energy whereas the other is overly feminine and needs to take on more masculine energy. As the relationship progresses, the lesson unfolds.

Learning lessons can be challenging and can cause friction in the relationship making continuing difficult. Perhaps this is why so many marriages break up over what seems like small things. People talk about money, the other’s friends, not sharing interests, etc. but what is the real reason? I believe it goes much deeper; way down to the soul level. And, once the lesson is learned, whether it took a few days, weeks, months or years, the two could well part. Of course, there are many relationships that continue on even after the point where the learning has stopped and just the friction remains causing great consternation among those involved. When the two finally part, it’s normally in anger with years of trauma to overcome.

I hope that when it’s time to end a relationship, I’ll know the point at which it’s time to end and do so with the most loving heart possible. The goal is to have a win-win for both parties. Tell each other what was good in the relationship, holding back on what didn’t work so well, letting go of the negatives long enough so as to not destroy the other’s ego. Letting go in this manner saves face and is not only in the best interest of both parties, it takes into consideration that releasing someone in love sets forth the same energy to come to you. So let go with love and light and be in abundance so that you welcome in an even better situation next time.

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