Time to take a stand for oneself!

April 16, 2019

It’s a beautiful spring day. The trees are blooming and look refreshing and new. It’s warming a bit so that it’s not so cold as before. It would be nice to talk a walk out in the sunshine.

I choose to think positive thoughts; to read my book on the fascinating history of the Templars in Portugal; to help others by mentoring and to do other volunteer efforts which bring me joy. I started assisting my university alumni with offers of mentoring and immediately had a taker… the very next day. It was a pleasure to help this woman assess her current career situation and how to move forward according to her desired plan. These are all pro bono sessions but they provide me a venue for giving back and that brings me joy.

An old project management colleague contacted me to be interviewed for an article that he was writing and I was glad to assist. The piece was on the value and impact of various certifications and as I have several very unusual ones, he chose me to be included. It was fun to participate and wonderful to receive a digital copy of the finished product several weeks later. More joy came to me in helping him.

Those that chose to stay in a negative place will be left behind. I can only help so much for it drains me if there is nothing ever coming back, nor appreciation; just chaos left in the ashes of my attempts to be of service. Thus, to those that are negative energy I say that I must detach from you all. It’s just too oppressive.

For there to be a friendship, it must be a two way street. The same holds true for a relationship. Both parties must acknowledge their participation otherwise, there is nothing? It’s all just a fantasy.  I care about all the issues that other people have but no one wants to listen to me or care about what is going on in my life. Am I too independent? Too willing to take on the world? At some point, I have to say that it’s enough and I’m going to stop being the world’s baby sitter, or mother or care taker. I have to look out for myself and have proper boundaries.

So if your mood darkens and you refuse the light that I offer, so be it. I can do no more. I will not be your psychologist to figure out what’s going on with you. Only you can decide you want to figure all that out and then it’s part of your soul’s journey to take the road ahead.

So here is where we part company. I choose to take the high road, be positive and follow my path to be of service. My goal is to help souls one by one to be all they can be in order to raise the vibration of the planet. But each soul must move forward in his/her own way and in their own time.

It’s your decision now. What will it be? Will you stay behind in the darkness or come with me into the light? Comments are welcome.


Entanglement or Relationship?

March 28, 2019

Have you ever wondered about the nature of a relationship that’s not going so well? Perhaps there is arguing, conflict, constant negotiations or other types of negative interactions. Most relationships are with and between adults, but they can also be with children. There is another category of people who never matured into a fully functioning adult and remain very childlike, perhaps even referring to themselves as having arrested development whether in jest or not.  As I’ve been told by my psychology-oriented friend, this type of individual most likely wasn’t properly nurtured during the prime young years and as a result, missed out on a type of personal validation that’s required to develop a healthy sense of self; thus, the impact is that they never really grow up. In other words, an individual who didn’t have a mother or father really present in their life (perhaps physically but not emotionally for lots of reasons) can remain in an immature or childlike state.  The dynamic is more complicated than I’m presenting but is simplified for discussion. There are many people who do grow up to be quite well adjusted even without childhood nurturing, myself being one of them. I simply recognized where love was missing and did a lot of inner child work. However, I’m not the norm.  

Entanglement

Don’t get me wrong. My parents did love me, but they came from an era where kids were seen and not heard, my opinion wasn’t valued, I was greatly criticized, and never made to feel important unless I was achieving. Ah ha! And as a result, one learns to be an A type personality to overachieve in order to please one’s parents. But now, I’m getting into a slightly different dynamic. Here, the individual is taking on very adult qualities and perhaps way too much responsibility. Possibly, it’s the two ends of a spectrum of not getting one’s needs met as a child.

So as far as this discussion is concerned, we can refer to individuals who never really attain a proper sense of self, a man-child or woman-child. They appear in an adult body but when provoked they revert to temper tantrums and outbursts just like a child. If you are unlucky enough to interact with one of these immature people, you may find that you are in an entanglement full of chaos rather than a more normal type of relationship.

Since I believe that everyone comes into our life for a reason, what types of lessons can one learn from interactions from a man-child for example? As I’m a woman, I’ve had the experience of dealing with a man-child. In fact, I actually felt like I was caring for my child. As I noted above, taking on too much responsibility and not wanting to take on any are polar opposites and attract. Could it be that my life lesson was to learn not to be so very responsible for everyone else by the universe giving me someone who would simply take and take and it would never be enough? He was an empty well that could never be filled with enough love because he felt that he wasn’t good enough to be loved (never forming a positive sense of self-worth as a child). No matter what I tried to do to help this person in terms of working on a resume for him to get a new job; showing him how to earn money with odd jobs by actually going to the job site and waiting for him while he working on a friend’s electrical that I set up for him or any of the other caring acts I did. I felt like a soccer Mom waiting for her child to play the game. I sat for hours so that this guy could make some money so that he’d feel better about himself. I also went through the motions of caring for him in other ways by feeding him meals, giving him t-shirts, socks or other articles of clothing when he needed them and helping him buy presents for his family because navigating a huge store like Target was too overwhelming. I’ve never had kids but really felt like I had one during my “entanglement” with this guy. Eventually, he left town and I felt like I was losing my child.

Of course, I had to have a serious talk with myself about why I felt that way and where it was coming from. After considerable reflection I realized the lesson in it for me. It was about learning unconditional love and being the divine feminine. Being my polar opposite, he opposed me in many ways. To do what I did for him, even though it caused me great consternation many times, was an act of pure love, unlike any that I had known before. He taught me a lot in our months together and for that I’m grateful. I know that our soul contract is now complete and I’ve done all I can for him, now recognizing that it’s time to let go and allow him to survive on his own. Much like a parent allows her child to be a teenager then grow up; of course, this may be impossible for him at this point in his life.

It was an entanglement, not a relationship of equals. Now I can stand back and see it for what it is. I have the power of analysis and so am sharing it to help others understand their lessons if they find themselves in an entanglement. There are many types of entanglements, but if one looks deep the answer to why it’s happening will appear.

Comments or questions are welcome.


Are You Connected?

February 6, 2019

Ever sit in front of a TV set that’s not turned on? There’s not much happening; it’s just a dark screen. One can stare at it for hours and wonder what kind of shows or other programs are on but really, it’s just in our minds. Until we turn on the set (as in establish the connection of the TV with the electricity that provides the source of the programming), we won’t get a signal. Well, our lives are really like this.

Do you remember the movie, the Avatar? Here’s a recap just in case to make my point; the blue almost human looking creatures all have long tails that seem to connect with other creatures that we’d call horses, just to simplify the discussion. As the tails were plugged into each other, the “connection” would allow both to sense what the other needed. Rather than the rider pulling on the reins or making noises, as one would expect in this plane of existence, in the land of Avatar, only thoughts are needed. One could say that the thoughts of the creatures would be conveyed through the connection; it was like an energetic transfer both of feeling and need – what and how it should be done. Later in the film, the humanoids would do the same thing, and while swaying back and forth one could imagine a large gathering of people singing Kumbayah. This plugging in was required in their world for a connection between beings.

Just like the TV set or the Avatar creatures, we as humans have a source that we need to plug into in order to function properly. One could say that we need to receive our programming as well as interconnect since we’re all made of the same divine energy. This divine energy comes from a divine source where our inner guidance system, our life lessons, both challenges and successes are all interwoven. Unless we make a decision to plug ourselves into this divine plug, we will just walk around in a daze, blindly performing our daily duties without much thought. Plugging in can be as simple as taking a meditation walk, sitting and asking for guidance, or the act of prayer. How will you plug in today?


If a tree could talk

January 7, 2019

Ever walk by an interesting tree and wonder about it? Old is It? Do animals live in its branches or inside part of its trunk? What stories could it tell you about people that have been walking by. Some trees are called witness trees because they’ve seen horrible events… or maybe two people got engaged under a tree. All of these are possibilities if a tree could tell you what it’s seen or heard.tree

What is precipitating this question for me? Recently there was a tree that fell across the walking path behind my townhome. As I stood looking at this huge brown tree devoid of leaves, essentially dead, it fell across the path, having fallen due to excessive rain, I wondered about its life.

After a heavy rain storm, I decided to get out and take a walk on my to find the path blocked by this fallen tree. For some strange reason I actually felt sorry for the tree, as it had come to the end of its life. Then I thought again. No, perhaps it was the end of its living life but in death it would provide a means of life to other creatures. Does that mean it continues on in another fashion?

Can we say the same thing about our own lives? When we end our physical lives and change our form do we continue on in another fashion and live life in another form ourselves? It might be another version of us; the spiritual version that is eternal just like the tree continues on even when it decays into bits of wood and then into bits of earth. It then becomes elements that give nourishment to plants and other living things.  As we change form do we help other living things to flourish? Does the spirit inside us help others to flourish? I believe we can do so when we become spirit guides also known as guardian angels. This is when our souls choose to help others while we are in spirit form.

Just as this tree will one day provide a place for a nest for birds, a home for squirrels as well as mosquitoes or even other little creatures, we too can help other people thrive once we cross over.


Angels on my Shoulder

December 10, 2018

During my recent trip to Portugal I had several experiences where I felt that synchronicity was at play to the extent that it must be my angels at work helping me. The story I’m going to relate in this article is that of my day trip to the historic town of Sintra, where just when I needed help, it was available to me.

After several attempts to take a group tour on this particular Saturday during my vacation failed, I decided to go it alone. Armed with travel brochures, internet information on the key sights, and information of what not to miss, I left my hotel about 8:30 am with a very positive outlook. I had already mastered the metro system to the point of knowing where the nearest stop was and where to get off, but I didn’t know how to find the connecting train station for the out of town trip to Sintra. Buying the ticket was easy at the ticket booth which was manned with a live person, asking in English is a forte of mine as I don’t speak Portuguese.

angelThe next step was to get off the metro and find the train station. I started to inquire of my fellow metro passengers who either didn’t understand me or didn’t know. This was strange to me since it was with in a short walk of the metro stop. Everything is different when one is in another country and not familiar. On the third try I happened upon a family with an elderly gentleman who seemed to be the local resident and the others, the visitors. In asking this group about the location of the train station, I discovered they were from Poland. I chimed in that my heritage is Polish as my Mother’s father came from Poland in the early 1900s, a town called Silencia. To my surprise, I was told that they came from this same place. I was asking for help from people of my heritage land! As we got off the metro, the elderly gentleman, most likely their father, speaking no English but made to understand my goal from his relatives, pointed the way to the train station. Yes! Mission accomplished!

Having my ticket in hand I quickly found my train on the track already arrived. I barely made it into a seat before the train left so my timing was quite good. As I settled in the seat I had found after searching for one up and down several cars, I noticed French spoken near me.

 In my usual brilliant way, I asked the young woman closest to me “are you from France?” She replied, “yes, we are from Lyon”, referring to the 3 couples in her group. This brief introduction began a conversation about our day in Sintra and planned itineraries. After hearing about the place I wanted to see they changed  their plan and decided to join me. I was thrilled. We all got off the train together and for the next 6 hours became a new unit, wherein I was treated like one of them… something like being an adopted Mom. The young woman had left her 8 month old baby at home for this weekend away with her Mom so perhaps she was in a very nurturing mode.

It turned into a wonderful day for me, where at first I thought I’d be alone I was accompanied by a nice group of friendly people all day while touring interesting sights. We even stopped and had tea together. It was a very warm feeling to chat and interact with these young people for the day. About 3pm we parted company as our desires changed… with me wanting to view the inside of the Pena Palace and their only wanting to see the outside gardens.. We said goodbye with invitations from the young woman to visit Lyon.

About an hour later I walked down the hill, took the bus back to the train station, then the train to the metro and as I was coming up the stairs from the metro station I looked up in amazement… could my eyes be deceiving me? There was the same group of French people looking just as amazed! I knew then that I had been experiencing a divinely inspired day complete with angels on my shoulder to look out for me. How else could I have met the same group back in Lisbon?

Although I had a two week vacation on my own and did some organized tours during that time, some of my best moments were when I just trusted that I’d be ok on my own and went out into the great unknown. It was when I was in the hands of my guides, that I was truly guided.

Comments are always welcome.


Help, Don’t Hurt

October 15, 2018

There are so many times that people are passionate about an issue but their rantings only hurt the situation rather than helping it. We have a word in Jewish, Kvetching! And it is the equivalent of bitching, moaning and complaining consistently. So whenever we open our mouths to state our opinion, I’d like to suggest that we make constructive criticism meant to help rather than hurt all concerned.

In this article, I’d like to commend Queen Latifah for her recent commercial extolling the benefits of a good higher education. Apparently, as she explains, she’s achieved great success in life, but without the added benefit of a college education. From the sound of it, she feels and conveys in this ad, that with such advanced study, she may have had a better life, an easier time moving forward, or made more money earlier on. Now, of course, she’s well known as a prominent acting/singing personality and is making the big money as they say. But inwardly she still feels that a degree would be beneficial. To me, establishing all these benefits for her community and others at large is a great service to her listeners.helpful

I would also like to contrast her approach with the radio announcer typically on at the same morning slot. I listen to a morning radio show that caters to a predominantly black audience. The announcer of this show has a segment that he calls “a Racial Observation” during which time he refers to events of the day that point to the divide between the black vs. the white community. Perhaps a white policeman arrested a black kid and used force or a woman was assaulted and the perpetrator not prosecuted….in any case the situations are always where he is pointing to racial tensions in this country. During other parts of this show, people are making fun of multiple baby mammas and kids going home to empty houses, being raised by single Moms who don’t know where the father of their children are…. The point here is that neither accountability nor responsibility is discussed, rather just how awful things are and how unfair the system is to his group.

Well I’m a senior and there are a lot of things that are unfair to me too, but rather than kvetch, I’d rather give charity to help others and send positive energy to law makers to make it better for all concerned. In the end, I believe I will be taken care of by the powers to be because I live a heart centered life guided by my faith.

So back to Queen Latifah:. I salute her effort to extol the virtues of a higher education because it is the pathway to getting a good job and making something of one’s self. I had to work hard for my degree and in the end it has served me well throughout my career. So doing what it takes to go to school at night or by day if possible is a great way to be accountable and take responsibility for one’s life. So the next time you have something to say, keep it helpful and not hurtful. Comments are always welcome.

 


Time to Detox? – Part I The Physical

August 18, 2018

Detoxing may not be a fun topic but sometimes it’s necessary to focus in and get rid of negatives in the body which can take different forms. We can hold negative elements in our gut – the traditional place to consider a detox to get rid of toxins that overload our digestive system and cause a myriad of physical issues. Perhaps we don’t think as much about the negative junk that seeps into our thoughts and the need to clean out the closets of our minds. In this article I will address the first of these two types of detoxing and why it’s are important to our physical  wellbeing. Stay tuned for  the second type of detoxing and why it’s important to our mental wellbeing.

detoxFirst, let’s address the gut. There is a plethora of information on how our digestive track is like a second brain. From my recent reading on the internet about all the little critters that reside in our gut, it’s important to keep a healthy balance of what’s referred to as “good and bad bacteria”. Normally, if we eat a balanced diet, there shouldn’t be any problems with maintaining a healthy gut bacterial environment. That said, many of us, me included, don’t always eat enough fresh veggies and thus I have to admit to subscribing to lots of nutritional supplements. In addition, I’m guilty of taking over the counter anti-inflammatories, ingesting antibiotics when I’m sick or possibly from non-organic meats, and using artificial sweeteners, all of which can disturb this delicate balance.

Over the last year I found myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable through weight gain and digestive issues. I eventually pinpointed Splenda use as one culprit. In an effort to drink more water I was using lots of Splenda every day. And then my gut locked up on me. I finally realized that too many supplements and the use of Splenda had to get under control. So in comes the DETOX. Wow, what a difference. If you do decide to go this route, I recommend that you get a medical grade 2 week version, which I did through a local specialized pharmacy. I’m not here to advertise any specific product, but I basically had to get off all gluten, dairy, supplements except for those provided in the kit and only use their protein powder. The detox consisted of 2 protein shakes daily with a non-dairy beverage and one regular meal combined with lots of veggies and some low glycemic fruit. The first few days were difficult but I stuck with it and now I feel a lot better.

Ok, this is the physical component of the detox. I can’t believe the difference in the way I feel. I’m back to my normal weight, gaining energy every day and can more readily do my activities. My brain fog is clearing also. There is a huge difference… now detoxing the mind and getting rid of negatives there is a bit more complicated. My next article will address this aspect of detoxing… Meanwhile, comments are always  welcome.

 


%d bloggers like this: