It’s an age old wisdom that we should look in the mirror first if we feel there is something missing in our lives. Thus when I decided that I needed more friends and that I would have to be more welcoming to bring people into my life. In other, I would have to be friendlier.
Ok so how do I become friendlier
when I thought I was already a nice person who was polite and congenial to
those that I met anyway? Well I guess it came down to my energy. What was the
message that my energy was sending out? Although I felt friendly, perhaps I was
inwardly insecure or afraid, which sent a similar awkward message out to the
world. This was not what I wanted. In other words, as is quite common, I was
guilty of sending out a mixed message. My outer voice wanted one thing while my
inner voice was reflecting another. I needed to become congruent.
Thus I had to really become a happy person, feel good about myself, and raise
my self-esteem which in turn would send out a happy vibe to the world. It
wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I booked a social group and just smiled
and talked with people being non-judgmental and accepting them for who they
were. Suddenly people began to like me more. When I became more of a listener
reflecting back to people what they were saying, staying present and really
hearing them, even more people liked me. In turn, I was laughing more.
Before I knew it I was in my authentic self, feeling good and sending out
positive vibes. Soon, I was getting return positive glances at my gym class at Zumba
and in social circles. Then on travel, people would engage with me more. All of
a sudden, I then realized that i was really making friends. I had become a
friendlier person with all the associated qualities. My energy changed and I
attracted healthier people into my life that warranted my friendship. As far as
I can tell so far, these are people that really want to be friends, have no
ulterior motives or axes to grind, no mood disordered and just healthy happy
people. What a relief it is. It’s been awesome so far and I certainly hope it
continues. I offer my personal experience to you so that you can give it a try
and see what happens. As always comments are welcome.
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne 
I not only remember the days before the Internet, but I was actively involved in the messaging industry that attempted to address the issues of connecting disparate companies around the globe. There was a huge technical problem at the time. Every telecom company operated with their own data format necessitating a data format conversion if any one company could send messages to any other company; thus much of message was intra-company. So there were lots of people using a single provider such as AOL, MCI, etc. and anyone within that company could send messages to each other. Wow, but sending a message to someone not using that carrier was tricky and once accomplished, expensive. There was a service fee to connect. If you had friends among several different carriers, you had to pay this fee for each different one. It would be like paying tolls for using all the different toll roads to reach the homes of friends living in different locales in the metropolitan DC area. This is the best example I can provide to understand how it was back then.
Help, Don’t Hurt
October 15, 2018There are so many times that people are passionate about an issue but their rantings only hurt the situation rather than helping it. We have a word in Jewish, Kvetching! And it is the equivalent of bitching, moaning and complaining consistently. So whenever we open our mouths to state our opinion, I’d like to suggest that we make constructive criticism meant to help rather than hurt all concerned.
In this article, I’d like to commend Queen Latifah for her recent commercial extolling the benefits of a good higher education. Apparently, as she explains, she’s achieved great success in life, but without the added benefit of a college education. From the sound of it, she feels and conveys in this ad, that with such advanced study, she may have had a better life, an easier time moving forward, or made more money earlier on. Now, of course, she’s well known as a prominent acting/singing personality and is making the big money as they say. But inwardly she still feels that a degree would be beneficial. To me, establishing all these benefits for her community and others at large is a great service to her listeners.
I would also like to contrast her approach with the radio announcer typically on at the same morning slot. I listen to a morning radio show that caters to a predominantly black audience. The announcer of this show has a segment that he calls “a Racial Observation” during which time he refers to events of the day that point to the divide between the black vs. the white community. Perhaps a white policeman arrested a black kid and used force or a woman was assaulted and the perpetrator not prosecuted….in any case the situations are always where he is pointing to racial tensions in this country. During other parts of this show, people are making fun of multiple baby mammas and kids going home to empty houses, being raised by single Moms who don’t know where the father of their children are…. The point here is that neither accountability nor responsibility is discussed, rather just how awful things are and how unfair the system is to his group.
Well I’m a senior and there are a lot of things that are unfair to me too, but rather than kvetch, I’d rather give charity to help others and send positive energy to law makers to make it better for all concerned. In the end, I believe I will be taken care of by the powers to be because I live a heart centered life guided by my faith.
So back to Queen Latifah:. I salute her effort to extol the virtues of a higher education because it is the pathway to getting a good job and making something of one’s self. I had to work hard for my degree and in the end it has served me well throughout my career. So doing what it takes to go to school at night or by day if possible is a great way to be accountable and take responsibility for one’s life. So the next time you have something to say, keep it helpful and not hurtful. Comments are always welcome.
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