Remembering our Godly Soul

November 9, 2022

I recently started taking a class with the Rabbi’s wife in addition to the ladies’ bible study in which I’ve been participating for many years. This new class concerns a very special book called the Tanya, written at the end of the 18th century by the founder of the Chasidic sect of Judaism. In our first class this past Wednesday, we learned that there are two souls – one is called the animal soul which governs out instincts and our nature/ego while the other soul is concerned the aspect that connects us to the divine will. So, when we are doing things for others but for a selfish intent, it’s still part of the animal soul. Likewise, when we sit quietly and ask how we should be used to serve others or even how doing the laundry can become a divine task, then we are using our Godly soul. Although I’ve studied this concept before, I felt that I needed a refresher due to an incident that happened a couple days before.

Like most events in life, things happen for a reason; at the time it may seem like it’s just an action/reaction situation. Upon later reflection, however, we may find that there’s a deeper meaning to the scenario. Here’s the high level version, and of course, my side of the story.

So, what happened? I came home from an exercise class to find some young children playing with a very large ball in the middle of my street. Normally, over the many years that I’ve lived in my townhouse neighborhood, on the rare occasion when children are playing in the street, they normally are with an adult – either a parent or a guardian of one type or another. But this time, the kids were playing alone. (As I’d learn later, their father was inside their house.) The kids didn’t move as my car approached which meant that I had to stop for them and, in fact, they took their good old time getting out of the way. I was very surprised at this behavior making me feel like I was inconveniencing them to not obstruct traffic; rather, it was implied that the street was their right and I was a nuisance that could just wait for them.  I take issue with kids that have no respect for adults and this situation was not going over well with me from the start. First, was the playing in the street without adult supervision and the second thing was ignoring the right of way of a car to drive down the street for the driver to get home.

Once in my driveway and safety parked in my garage, I walked back to where the kids were and said, “it would be safer for you all to play down the end of the street”, to which they just ignored me. I really wasn’t surprised since they had taken an attitude when they say my car initially. Apparently, they were being raised to believe that they were the center of the universe by their parents, so of course, every one else needs to yield for them. I’ve seen this behavior before and it produces adults with no sense of responsibility so I really hate to see it in children. I have family members that were held up to the light when young and now they are a gift from God… and have no respect for the rest of the family. It’s a shame what has happened over the last few years and has hurt me terribly. That said, I was really triggered by these kids.

Then I said, “Where is your mother?” to which I got a “She’s not home.” But they didn’t tell me that their father was home. A few minutes later I got a pounding at my door. When I went down the stairs, I saw a huge man furiously angry wound up and ready for bear as the expression goes who said, “How dare you speak to my children like that?”. Really, like what? Concerned for their welfare that they shouldn’t play in the street and that it would be safer to play down the end of the street.

He wasn’t interested in what actually happened because his kids had said that I took pictures of them, which I didn’t and it isn’t against the law anyway. However, he was hostile, abusive and threatening to say the least. And this wasn’t the end. I made the mistake to post on the neighborhood information board not realizing that his wife had no time to monitor the kids, nor take them to the neighborhood park play ground only one block away, but had lots of time to monitor this information board. In just a few days, there were 65 comments to which she replied to each one in turn stating her opposing view. I was amazed. It wasn’t difficult to figure out which one she was and even a few days later she contacted me directly.

At that point, I knew I needed to know my legal position, so I contacted the local police department non-emergency number. The really nice police lady was totally supportive, told me that I’d done nothing wrong and that this crazy family had no recourse against me legally but that if it should happen again, I should call the police at which point the parents would be told to keep the kids out of the street – private road or not. I definitely felt better after this conversation since the contact with this crazy lady had taken me off balance.

I went for a walk around the lake near home. As I walked over the foot bridge around some people, I accidentally walked too far to the right, and my foot slipped causing me to fall down on my side. Some really nice people came to my aide while others just kept on walking. I sat there for a few minutes questioning the meaning of the situation and received guidance that there are nice people in the world and some that just aren’t very nice. It was up to me to surround myself with people of a higher vibration – those of the light, and stay clear of those with a lower vibration – those in the darkness.

When I felt better, I stood up, finished my walk and came home with more resolve to limit my access to people in the light. I deleted my original post and realized I had allowed myself to use my animal soul – my ego had gotten in the way and that I had to reconnect to the light. The fall was the wakeup call – to shake me to remember who I am as a spiritual being. It really worked. Nothing was broken, but I did have to stay in for the weekend recuperating and allowing the swelling on my ankle to go down. I was very lucky that I didn’t get hurt any worse. I learned my lesson to stay connected to my Godly Soul. Sometimes we have to get shaken up to learn our lessons.

Comments are always welcome.


Resilience

August 21, 2022

The definition of the word resilience is the ability to be flexible in all kinds of situations; in other words, to be able to weather the various storms of life. My Mom, at 95 years of age, is a wonderful example of resilience. She is a real example to me of how to just allow the world to be whatever it’s going to be and life within it. Why I feel this way is the subject of this article.

My Mom was born in 1927, just a couple years before the Great Depression. Therefore, her parents had to live through the Great Depression. She grew up during a time when what had been for sure, wasn’t any longer. This country had known prosperity for quite a while and then suddenly it all came crashing down. We’ve learned since then to be more careful with investing in the stock market (or many of us have learned this lesson, but not all!). In any case, these were uncertain times that required those that lived through it to be flexible.

In addition, my mom was born just a decade after the Pandemic of 1918 – otherwise known as the Spanish Flu. Millions of people died leaving only the strongest to survive. With no vaccine and only cotton masks, people self-isolated and did their best to wash their hands with little more that they could do. Only those with a relatively strong immune system lived through this time. My Mom’s parents (my grandparents). did and they gave this immunity to my mother.

A third point is that my grandparents were either newly arrived in this country or the first generation here. They were immigrants making their way in a new place, willing to do hard work to survive. My mother’s father was a merchant, making his living from ownership of various businesses that he created – a gas station and then a furniture store. Both were successful enough to support the family at that time.

Thus, my mom had good genes as they say and she gave those genes to me. As time goes on and I get older I reflect on just how much my mom has passed her resilience on to me. I watch how she adapts to changes in her life with relative ease. When my brothers and I graduated from high school and moved on, she started working as a substitute teacher using the degree, she obtained many years before. Eventually, she earned first her teaching certificate and then her masters from an exceptionally fine university – that of John Hopkins in Baltimore. I still get the newsletter and magazine from them as I now receive all my mom’s mail since I’m her guardian at this late stage in her life. I know how difficult it is to workday time and then attend classes in the evening since I earned my graduate degree while working (from the University of Maryland in Technology Management).

It was not easy for me and I am sure it wasn’t easy for her either; but I never heard her speak of it. She just did it in her classic style. That is the way people who were brought up during the depression are; I have no way of knowing for sure, but it just seems that way to me. Those were challenging times and people had to adapt or not make it through. When I was cleaning out her apartment to move her from California to Virginia, her graduation certificate was there. I had never seen it. My mom had just gotten it and then put it away. When I think of all the visits to my home in Baltimore and never once did she say, “I just graduated from Johns Hopkins University with my masters in liberal arts; do you want to see my graduate certificate?” I can assure you that I would have been immensely proud and would have wanted others to know about it. Wait a second, now that I think back, when I did graduate with my graduate certificate I was married, and we were moving from one house to another, and I don’t think I made any kind of special thing about it. At the time, I just completed my coursework and did not even bother with the ceremony. The more I think about it, the more I realize that, I’m very much like my mother.

How else is my mom resilient? Last October, Mom fell in her apartment and the staff called me to come over as she was badly bruised. I went over and took her to the nearby ER. After being in the ER for several hours, the doctors decided to admit Mom to the hospital where she stayed for four days. During this time, I spent the entire day with her watching the nurses and doctors coming in/out of her room with lots of electronic documents for me to sign. Of course, I had no idea what I was signing away. Does anyone these days? The staff points to a line and tells you to sign and you do it. I tried to read what I was signing but the language isn’t really understandable by a normal human being even with all my degrees. Of course, it’s meant to be that way. If you understood what you were signing, you would not do it. Undoubtedly, you are giving away your rights to any compensation if the staff screws up. In any case, after four days of every test known to man except the ones that make sense – like an EKG, Mom said, “I want to go home”. So, I told one of the nurses, “ok, you have one hour to get my mom ready as I’m taking her home”. And they did. At that point, Mom said, “Do not put me in the hospital”. My reply was, “So don’t fall and don’t get sick”.

Months passed and my mother was going downhill. She was not coherent and seemed to sleep a lot. I was preparing for her demise. So, I decided to talk to her soul and I said, “It’s a lot of trouble for me to take care of you, so either be here or leave”. She looked at me and said, “You’re right”. After that she came out of wherever she had been and started getting better day by day. Her soul decided to stay for awhile longer. During this time, I got her a care worker first 3 days a week and then 4 days a week, not so much because she needed that much care, but more to keep her company. Yes, it is an expensive adult play mate, but it did the trick. I visit during the week also, but she really likes having someone around. And on Saturday, I have a guy come over for therapeutic exercise and massage. She likes Robert and thinks he is cute (no, she’s not dead yet). So, whatever he costs, it’s worth it.

We are fortunate to have the means for this type of care. I’m certainly glad that I’ve saved for the eventuality that I’ll need extensive care towards the end of my life. Meanwhile, I exercise as much as I can to stay strong and healthy.

On a final note, Mom continues to surprise me. I called the other evening to check on her with no answer. After three tries I called the staff getting worried asking the night duty person to check on her. When I called back, he told me that my mother had gone to the movie down the hall. Go MOM!


Not Knowing

April 18, 2022

I’m reading a book on Antisemitism that is the total of presentations for a conference of the same subject conducted at the University of Indiana this past Fall (2021). It’s written by Academics for Academics which makes sense since they present to each other. My issue with it is that the language is not easy for me to understand. I’m not putting myself down nor am I criticizing the presenters. When one is in a world, that’s the framework that these people have. But for those outside of this particular scope/perspective, it’s difficult to comprehend. It would be like trying to understand quantum physics without really studying it nor having a background in it.

Antisemitism

Why am I pointing this out? Because in reading this book of articles on Antisemitism, I’m learning all the things that I didn’t know about the subject. I must point out to my readers that I’m Jewish so I definitely know what it’s like to be Jewish and to have some people not like me for just being Jewish. I’ve also experienced people being really mean to me for being Jewish. In other words, I’ve experienced antisemitism without knowing the “definitions” of antisemitism nor understanding the academic framework surrounding the intellectual discussion of it.

Again, why is this important? Because not knowing, and then knowing about it opens a whole new world. Now that I know about all the ways that I was wronged in my life based on my being Jewish without realizing it, should I be even more upset than when the particular incident happened? In most cases, these incidents happened many years ago, but I’m coming to realize that many actions people are doing even more recently is actually because they don’t like my Jewishness; in other words, they are acting in an antisemitic way towards me. Does it make me feel any better or worse in knowing? Or in Not Knowing, being in ignorance of why people were being mean to me was it any better?

An interesting point is that most of the speakers who presented and who do present on antisemitism are not Jewish. So, it’s a conundrum to me how someone who isn’t Jewish and doesn’t have any Jewish blood is so taken with others not liking Jews to actually make it a field of study. Do people wonder about this or is it just me? There are many people all over the US and in other countries in this field of antisemitism that are not Israeli, nor Jewish and study this topic. What is their motivation? I see many names that appear to be Austrian, German, etc. Is there any correlation between the nationalities of the seekers with their reasons for studying such a subject when they are not connected to the situation, nor were they harmed by the subject except in concept. “When one of my fellow humans is wronged then so am I”. That’s pretty egotistical if I don’t say so myself. But I really have no idea why these academics are studying this topic so I can’t presume anything.

As I’ve continued my reading of this book, the answer to my questions is becoming more known to me: the speakers/authors are from countries involved in the holocaust and its aftermath. Again, from my readings I’m learning about how these countries are getting tired of apologizing for their involvement in the harming or not protecting more of their citizens from harm during the WWII destruction of so many Jewish lives.

Of course, people of many religions died during this period but most were killed during war times not just rounded up from their homes and murdered in one way or another. The systematic killing of six million Jews is horrific by any historical standard.

There appears to be a new generation of leaders that want to move away from apologizing and even accepting their past history to now shifting away from blame. In other words, they are attempting to change history. Not only are they re-writing what actually happened, but this new perspective is rationalizing the entire historical period away from their minds. Now it’s been done by “Others” and not “Them” so their people can breathe easier. With this new understanding, I can see why some of the authors are taking a stand on the resultant antisemitism that is arising out of this, well it’s not us, but them at fault. Again, it’s the Jews who are at fault. In other words, antisemitism is more on the rise than ever.

Of course, many people study ancient Roman culture and they have nothing to do with ancient romans. They didn’t live at that time nor are they responsible for anything that happened then but they still study this period in history. So, I guess if people want to study about another group of people and why others hate them, it’s ok.

As for my understanding what it’s like to be Jewish and to totally feel what it’s like to have been persecuted during the war, let me say that most of my relatives were killed during the holocaust. I believe that this point makes me able to say that I feel the pain of the persecution through the fact that I have so little family left. I especially am reminded of this fact on holidays and when people tell me that they’re about to visit cousins or other family members. I do have some family but only because those members of my family that did come over in the early 1900’s have married and had kids and they have had kids so there are a few generations in the US. Unfortunately, anyone that stayed behind is no longer.

As I continue my reading into this fascinating book and my NOT KNOWING becomes MORE KNOWING, I’m learning how more of the same old perspective that got Jews rammed into pogroms in the late 19th century is recurring; in addition, it contributed to the “it’s ok to kill the Jews because they caused all the ills going on in society thinking” is again gaining momentum. This is really news to me so my NOT KNOWING here is blowing my mind. Apparently, people just don’t learn from history. Are we going to have another world war over it? Do we have to have more lives lost like before? Or is this craziness the reason that non-Jews recognize the reason to fight against antisemitism before it’s too late? As this is a huge subject, for now, I’ll leave it as the answer. We all need to use our own minds and not be led like sheep to the slaughter by those that wish to tear down the very fabric of our society – (even with it’s edges and curves!)

Comments or questions are welcome.


Upside down justice

January 26, 2022

I’ve lived in my home for 22 years and have had 5 neighbors to the right side of my townhouse, some nicer than others. This current one can only be described as a witch. She’s truly a bully taking great pride in being selfish and demanding of her property rights over plants and trees but totally disrespectful when it comes to my rights. Here’s my story of what should have been a shared expense and how she reneged on her promise to actually pay me once repairs were complete.

Before I start my rant, because admittedly, I’m frustrated at the system that allows people in a neighborhood where the deed of the property clearly states a shared financial responsibility where a shared wall is involved, there are probably some of you that may disagree with my position. Since I believe that perspective is a fact in this world of duality, I accept that opposition to what I’m presenting is a possibility. Nonetheless, I’m going to present what happened in the hopes that eventually there is enough energy to move forward in a more positive way.

Over these many years, my house has needed quite a few maintenance repairs, of which very few involved my neighbors. That said, the walls between the homes to shift due to the settling of the houses. When this happens, the two walls essentially separate which causes a “crack” in the mortar. Although initially one can ignore the esthetically normal small crack, when it becomes a matter of a full length of the house crack then it’s a “structural situation”. At this point, it’s prudent to listen to the knowledgeable contractors that were repairing other parts of my home. “Hey lady, it’s time to fix this crack or you and your neighbor could have water damage”. When I hear this kind of statement, I listen. Having just spend a lot of money to repair first the siding a few months before and then the roof, now I realized I’d have to repair both side seams of my townhouse.

The neighbors on one side of my house had just moved in and were very nice people. During my investigation process and eventually completing the repair, they cooperated with me and paid their share (half of one side of the house or ¼ of the total cost). The other neighbor decided to make it as difficult as possible for me to get paid. As I was travelling out of the state to care for my mother, due to a family death, I was coming home to do these repairs. I was literally coming home for a few weeks and either getting bids or having work done and then going back to care for my Mom. It was and continues to be a stressful time. I just didn’t have lots of time to discuss the whys and wherefores of what I considered to be yet another home maintenance repair. After 22 years these repairs are to be expected.

Although this neighbor initially agreed to pay half of the expected repair, over email and through the President of the HOA to make it official, she later recounted her agreement. But she did this only after she got what she wanted from me – for me to trim a tree in my backyard that was growing into her “air” space. Let me re-iterate – it wasn’t touching any where in her backyard – just reaching into her “air” over a few feet over the property line. And for this transgression on my part, she wrote me a letter instructing me that I had to trim the tree by a certain date or her gardener couldn’t work at all on her backyard. I had a hard time not laughing since my tree was located in the corner of my backyard and was way over to the corner of her backyard. To say that her gardener was paralyzed from working until this beautiful cut leaf maple was trimmed was truly delusional. In 22 years, no other neighbor had bothered me about this gorgeous tree. Because the letter of the law states that I had to trim the tree, I did so and bam, once it was done her tone totally changed. Before that it was “what’s your PayPal so I can send you the money I owe you”. Once I had trimmed my tree, she came up with every crazy excuse in the books. Why did you do a mortar repair instead of caulking? Why? Because caulking isn’t for a structural situation where the entire side of the house is involved. The contractor I used was a licensed, bonded and insured real company that had reviews from doing this type of work, not a guy with a no-name truck like what she used to do her gardening work.

Needless to say, things went from bad to worse. I said she could pay me now or later. She sent $175 when her share was $700. I promptly refused the money she had sent and returned with an invoice for the full amount. She didn’t pay it. So, I tried through the small claims court system which was of little help. Again, she played a game until she got the ending she wanted. I went to court on the appointed day and she was a no-show. The judge called the case and shocked me with the news that she’d scheduled oral surgery that day. She lied and said she sent me a notice. I received nothing in the mail, in an email, nor on my door. It was a total lie. She just let me go to court, even though I had checked in the day before, the administrators didn’t know that there was a note on the file. The case was continued into the winter and of course it was on a day of bitter temperatures and icy road conditions. The federal and local governments were both closed but the courts decided to stay open. As I’d just had an accident earlier in that same week when my car slipped off the road during icy conditions, I couldn’t drive again and take any more chances (it was a huge repair bill). I called the court and was led to believe that it would be ok. But it wasn’t. Although the judge let her make up a story and play games with the date, he wouldn’t accept that I couldn’t drive (she has an SUV) so the case was dismissed not on merit but because I wasn’t there. I’m more than furious. But because I know that there is karma, I know that eventually she will pay her due. Comments are always welcome. But be gentle in this case…


The downside of too much control

September 27, 2021

I grew up with depression-era parents where our opinion was neither asked for nor tolerated. We were ruled with an iron hand and expected to obey without question. I was scared to death of my father and although not as much of my mother, she had her ways of making me pay for not listening to her. She would get upset with me at the slightest provocation and wouldn’t speak to me like she did before my wedding. Forget that it’s supposed to be the happiest time in a young woman’s life, that’s just how my Mom was, and still is, frankly. You just didn’t want to get on the wrong side of her. So I really get that the next generation, raised by similar types of parents would allow the pendulum, so to speak, to swing the other way.

Misbehaving

So what are the up and the down side of this type of child raising? Certainly it’s a great idea to promote well-being in a child. Regardless of the child’s IQ or physical ability, he or she should be encouraged to do their best to succeed in life. Success should be judged individually and not against a yard stick of others. There will always be someone faster, smarter or slimmer out there, so what is this child good at? Perhaps they are kind, willing to share or a born leader. They may not be the best reader or understand calculus. We should promote and encourage each child for what they bring into this world. I saw an amazing story the other day about a beautiful woman born without legs. She was actually adopted by truly loving parents who supported her being the best she could be and she didn’t let them down. Her friends accepted that she was just a smaller version of what they knew as a person but she is really beautiful. This girl grew up not knowing limitations and went on to excel in acrobatics. Seeing her perform on the internet not only made me smile, it gave me a great sense of awe in the world we live in. She had beauty inside and out. So here is an example of supporting a child and having it work out.

There are many similar examples of parents teaching their kids to be self-sufficient and growing into productive, highly functioning adults that accept responsibility in the world. But what can go wrong when parents treat their kids as if the child is the center of the universe? We’ve all experienced the screaming kid in the restaurant where the parent is hardly noticing while the rest of the diners try to look away or somehow quickly finish their own meals to leave. It’s so annoying to listen to loud voices in a restaurant of any kind, let alone a screaming kid. One goes out to dinner to enjoy a meal otherwise, well, just stay home. Then there’s the similar situation on a plane. I’ve had very long flights where young children are either crying or fighting with each other while the parents don’t do any kind of productive parenting. When we were kids, we were given Dramamine and simply slept during the trip. It was better for everyone involved. If anyone disagrees with me, feel free to express your opinion since I’m certainly expressing mine.

So what else can happen when kids are given too much free rein? Well, in the case of my brother’s kids, they grew up with wonderful athletic skills as well as doing quite well in the academic department also. They were surrounded by friends and as they came from good looking parents they had no trouble finding boy/girl-friends. Thus by most standards they were good kids, doing well in school, getting good grades and being quite popular. So what happened when they hit the real world? Well, here’s where things get a bit dicey. Since just about everything had been done for them for way beyond the beginning of adulthood (normally, when kids graduate from college they go off to start their own careers and also pay for their own apartments/homes, food, clothing, cars, etc.) As their parents could afford it, the kids continued to get their way paid for and to have their way with most things well into the next decade. When they hit a snag, like the girl had an argument with her long-time boyfriend, she just left him. If I said anything to her that she didn’t like, even casually, she’d act really snippy with me. And the boy began to exhibit extreme anger tendencies when things didn’t go his way, even to the point of personal attacks reminiscent of a much younger person. In other words, they were both rather emotionally immature because they didn’t learn much from the school of hard knocks. Their parents had so protected them from the world, when the world finally came in around them, they kind of failed the test from my vantage point. That’s not to say that they will never learn, but they haven’t learned yet.

If it seems that I have an axe to grind, you are correct, but I won’t air my dirty laundry. The general idea is enough for you to get my point. Too much control isn’t good just as too little control isn’t either. Like most things in life, we need to find balance.


Fine line between love and hate

June 10, 2021

Have you ever noticed how fine the line is between love and hate? People can be married for many years and suddenly get divorced hating each other. Normally, one assumes there is love when people marry. So how does the transition to hate occur? There are many answers to this question. In this blog article I will tackle a few of them including: a sudden incident, a gradual loss of connection, and finally, it was a mistake in the first place.

Let’s take the first cause of sudden disinterest in a marriage or relationship. (Perhaps one party changes with age, or there could be a situation that brings out extreme anger, rage or signs of abuse exciting fear on the other partner. Inappropriate intimacies with others can excite betrayal. Such strong emotions are very difficult to overcome and even if excused, often cause love to turn sour…and also, to hate.

Love Hate Computer Keys Shows Emotion Anger And Conflict

Taking a step back for the moment, it’s important to understand what emotions come from the second, third and fourth chakras. Fear (2nd chakra) and love (4th chakra) are opposing energies and cannot coexist. So if one is operating, the other will not be. In other words, fear and love cannot be present at the same time. Once a person begins to fear for safety of self or their integrity (as in betrayal) love is sure to die and to do so rather quickly. So second chances are rare and rarely succeed. The answer is to not do it! Think first or risk the relationship. Meanwhile, the third chakra is the seat of one’s personal power. Thus, if there is little energy in this solar plexus area, then the person feels the victim or without power. If there is too much energy in this area, then the person may be a power person or when taken to the extreme, a manipulator, narcissist, or bully over using one’s power.  

Unfortunately, I’ve had experiences with most of these situations including feeling powerless, a victim and even being bullied. Luckily, I learned from each of them and came out stronger. Not everyone is capable of coming into their authentic self to own their power, and be able to love without fear.  The more we do our “homework”, that is, work through our personal issues, the stronger we become in each of our chakras. The goal is to be as balanced as possible. Even love can be too strong wherein we give out too much forgetting ourselves.

The heart is like an emotional bank account with withdrawals when others are mean to us or we give freely to be of service. We then need to take in emotional support and loving kindness in order to balance out this heart energy. I’m providing just the tip of the discussion here but enough for you to get the idea. Don’t give so much that you get depleted or you will get overdrawn, just like your financial bank account would be.

Here’s a story of a situation that happened recently. A woman went to visit a guy friend who wasn’t finished with his routine weekend chores. Rather than stop his activities when she arrived, he insisted upon keeping her waiting another hour past their agreed meeting time. She was a bit aggravated but kept silent about it. She tried to lighten him up by joking around as he seemed so tense about getting things done. As she leaned into to him, his arms flew up in a protective stance – one that a man would take if he was concerned for his safety. This maneuver was totally unnecessary since the woman was much smaller than the man. None the less his arm hit her in the face knocking her on her nose. She was not only stunned by his behavior, she was really physically hurt. He never said he was sorry.

As she was reeling and dizzy from the strike to her face, she stayed in his house for the next few hours while he watched tv and ate dinner. She quietly planned how she would leave so as not to cause any trouble. Eventually, she felt well enough to make excuses and leave. When she did so, he said nothing and watched her walk out. It was only the next day that he realized that he’d just about ruined his chances with this woman and began to beg her to forgive him. She wanted no part of it. And so it went for a week. Eventually, she felt bad for him and gave him a reprieve but only on probation to monitor his behavior. The relationship lasted a few more weeks and then she ended it for good realizing that she could be in her power and not live in fear that he could be violent again.

The next reason is loss of connection. This can happen at any stage of a relationship. Perhaps people get started based on physical attraction and then really get to know each other finding there is little in common. Or what was in common loses interest. Sometimes people get together for the wrong reasons, like over an activity that one partner no longer wishes to pursue. There are many reasons for falling out including just getting older and changing.

The last reason – it was a mistake in the first place often happens when the couple is too young, there is too big an age gap, the financial circumstances are very different, some cultural norm is very different or there isn’t agreement on how it is to be handled, etc. Sometimes people come together to work out karma and the lessons are done; hence the basis for the relationship is done. I’ve experienced this one a number of times.

One thing I can say for sure: if two people come together and feel strongly about a relationship, there is a reason for it. It may be for a time, for a season or for a lifetime. Only you and your divine essence know. Your comments are always welcome.


Making way for the new (appliances)

June 25, 2020

Normally, when one speaks of letting go of the old to make way for the new, there is something really important at hand – like cleaning out closets or learning a new language to open up brain cells. This is a story of making way for new appliances after well, yes, 22 years. The old ones served me well and I’ve been holding on to them for just that reason. But that little voice inside has been pestering me to change them out in the kitchen for the last few months before my freezer full of meats (due to the meat scare of a few weeks ago causing me to run out and buy more chicken and other meats than I normally would have just like most other people – On occasion, although I try not to be, I can be a product of my environment – guilty as charged!). So I finally started to listen with my search in earnest beginning about 5 weeks ago.

Normally, when one speaks of letting go of the old to make way for the new, there is something really important at hand – like cleaning out closets or learning a new language to open up brain cells. This is a story of making way for new appliances after well, yes, 22 years. The old ones served me well and I’ve been holding on to them for just that reason. But that little voice inside has been pestering me to change them out in the kitchen for the last few months before my freezer full of meats (due to the meat scare of a few weeks ago causing me to run out and buy more chicken and other meats than I normally would have just like most other people – On occasion, although I try not to be, I can be a product of my environment – guilty as charged!). So I finally started to listen with my search in earnest beginning about 5 weeks ago.

The actually story of my search and final selection is captured in a separate article because it involved a few really cool interactions with highly motivated light workers who happened to cross my path. Now for those new here, I don’t believe in just happened – so these people were divinely guided to help me even when I really wasn’t in the mood to listen. Sometimes we are so busy being ourselves that we have to get out of our own way, as the renowned psychic Edgar Cayce used to say, to hear the still small voice inside. I’m sure that some angel assigned to help me sent these people to keep me from making a huge mistake by spending lots of money on the wrong products at the wrong stores. I mean places that wouldn’t support me when things went wrong or products that wouldn’t hold up either. In the end, I do feel that I’ve purchased from a reputable, family owned business in Woodbridge, VA (local to my area of DC) and from a store manager who seems to really care.

Now here’s the point for today. I totally cleaned out the refrigerator. One could ask why would I clean a frig that’s to be given away?  I did call Habitat for Humanity and told them that they could come and get it from me or from the appliance distributor’s place and who wants to have others get a grungy frig? It wasn’t that bad, but really it isn’t nice to give something away that’s dirty. I guess I was just brought up that way. So am I being self-centered to worry about what other’s think over a material item or is there another reason for my actions?

The answer is kind of deep. I feel like I’m saying good-bye to old friends who have served me well. Yes, it’s time to let go of the old and welcome in the new.  Am I concerned about what people will think of me as a housekeeper or am I performing a ritual like burying the dead? I’ve been thinking about it. For real, it wasn’t that dirty, but I feel just like when I gave my other cat a bath after she died but before she was cremated – it’s just respect for a creature that’s served me – in the case of my cat, with love. In the case of my appliances, it has to do with loyalty. And that’s my story. I will say good-bye to my frig, stove and microwave tomorrow. Then I will not only welcome in to the newer version of these same appliances, I will have to learn how to use them.

Comments are always welcome.


Obsession with the Absurd

June 5, 2020

During the current Covid-19 pandemic everyone is rather on edge and often little things become blown out of proportion.  In this environment, perspectives on what’s important sometimes get off as well. Here’s my story of what happened with a next door neighbor over a small planting bed in the front area between our two townhouses. To me, it’s an example of how one’s mind focuses on the absurd when it doesn’t have anything else more constructive to capture the attention.  

Late one Saturday night a few weeks ago, my next door neighbor, also a single older woman sent me an email asking me to trim my bush. Her request seemed really out of left field as it was spring time and my bush had been in the ground for 23 years without it bothering any of my prior neighbors having also resided in the same house next door. Why suddenly did she worry about this bush? In her email, again late at night, she stated that she was concerned that my bush would harm her plants newly placed in the “flower bed” between our two homes.

As a point of reference, I’ve always maintained this area 75% because I’ve lived there longest and have paid for whatever was necessary. A couple years ago, suddenly the tree died and as it was deemed “my tree” by the neighborhood I was required to pay for the removal and replanting of another tree which set me back $1000. Her predecessor neighbor disavowed any responsibility for the tree stating that the trunk of the tree was technically on my side of the planting area thus my problem. This was her view even though the tree was clearly providing beauty and shade for the two homes. I graciously accepted the responsibility and when the bed had to be redone I didn’t tell the gardener to stop at my half, I had the entire bed redone without expense to the neighbor. I felt like I was doing the right thing.

My late night response to this neighbor’s bush trimming request was that I’d take care of it in the fall. Receiving my email only made her more determined to stand up for what she wanted and I got more emails demanding action. I was really having a hard time taking her seriously. We were in the middle of the pandemic, I was going out once a week for food and for a daily walk, and really didn’t want to think about trimming a bush. To me, it seemed so ridiculous.

The emails began to fly back and forth with me stating that I’d take care of it and her stating that she’d take matters into her own hands. Really? It was a bush and 6 inches away from her plants. What could happen to them? At one point I even told her that she needed a new hobby, and pointed out for example that I was learning to make masks to donate to the Million Mask Challenge. Well, this only made her angrier and she assumed I was saying that she wasn’t doing anything to help with the pandemic. In response, she told me that her daughter was a nurse in NYC on the front lines of things. Great, what are you doing? But this is really not the point. I didn’t want any trouble. I was minding my own business and she was making an issue about a bush that grew an inch in a year or two suddenly creeping up on her plants.

As far as this new neighbor of about 1.5 years was concerned, learning about how the tree was planted held no interest for her. She proceeded to send me nasty emails about how awful I was and how I didn’t greet her properly when she moved in. I’m not sure what she expected, but in my neighborhood people move in and out without much fuss. I never did anything to hurt her and was cooperative when she had work done on her roof and her contractor needed access from my roof to do his work.

About two weeks after the email barrage, I asked a friend to come over with a chain saw and trimmer to take care of the bush, obviously sooner than the “fall” that I had promised her. When we went outside to begin the work, I bent down and realized that she’d already taken pruners and cut some of the branches out of the bush. I couldn’t believe it!!! Talk about obsessing over a bush. My friend and I took a huge amount off the bush figuring that we’d do a really good job. But our efforts were not rewarded. Within hours I got another email from the same neighbor asking to meet me in the morning regarding my plants close to the street. My response was a negative. I held my boundaries and ended communication not responding. She needed to find something else to obsess about because I realized it was her mind that was the problem; nothing I did would ever satisfy her.


Creating a loving reality

May 19, 2020

If you ask someone what is missing in their life, many will respond that they’d like more love. The younger generation might feel that they didn’t get enough love from their parents, whereas the older generation might feel forgotten by their kids. Or, the working class might feel that they’re not appreciated at work. Those of one belief system may feel those of other beliefs (whether religious, organizational or political) are against them. And even there are those that judge themselves unworthy of even being loved.

Wow, with all this unloving going on it’s amazing that anyone is happily in love! But of course, there are many people that walk around with smiles on their faces while in relationships, having wonderful children, and happy at their jobs. So what creates loving vs. unloving situations? The question is an age old one of how can one be happy because in actuality, we create our situations (most of the time).

According to brain research as well as ancients religious texts, we create our world one thought at a time. I recently watched a great video on GAIA, the spiritual equivalent of AMAZON PRIME VIDEO Channel, which explained how the brain is wired. This video went on to explain how our thought patterns create new neural networks almost like beating a path to a door from constantly going there.

The result of constantly re-hashing how others were mean, angry, abusive or otherwise non- appreciative of us, is creating a mental state where we begin to believe that we are only deserving of abusive behavior. In other words, by thinking negatively about ourselves we begin to believe the negatively about ourselves which in turn becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. This was a scientifically based video. The other end of the spectrum is the spiritual view where Edgar Cayce, the sleeping prophet and great psychic of the 20th century, promoted the idea that thoughts become actions become our world; or, as we think so we become. So here we have a case of science meeting spirituality; both systems giving support to the idea that thinking negatively is counter-productive to create anything positive.

Now my own universal law appropriate here is that nothing positive comes from a negative. In the case of love, if you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else do so? It also follows that if you want to be loved you need to be more loving yourself, as like attracts like. This is also promoted by many spiritual beliefs as well as the work of Edgar Cayce.

If we create our world one thought at a time and we need to be loving in order to be loved, what is the best way to create a loving reality? I believe the answer is clear! Be positive with your self-talk, have compassion with those around you, think before you speak working towards being the best version of yourself that you can be avoiding throwing stones at others for holding a contrary viewpoint; everyone deserves a place in the world and to express  their reality even if you don’t agree. Hold love in your heart for your fellow humans; one day we might need each other. There are many challenges at hand. No one knows for sure what will happen in the future. Have empathy. Stay in the light and be positive. These are all loving qualities to nurture and behold the love that returns. Voila, you’ve created a loving reality! (Granted, this may not be a perfect solution, but give it a try and see how life improves!!)

Comments are always welcome..


Positivism promotes health

May 1, 2020

We’re all in this isolation situation together. Sounds kind of funny doesn’t it?  Billions of people around the world are all stressed due to the Covid-19 corona virus pandemic yet it may be for slightly differing reasons. I feel like I get paralyzed some days and just plain overcome with inertia to be able to get anything done. I’ve heard other people express similar sentiments on zoom chat calls when they talk about how they are doing. Initially, I thought it was just me. Now I feel that we’re experiencing a new kind of stress that I’ll called COVID-19 PTSD. The answer is to stay positive, reduce this stress and promote a healthy immune system.

Just what is the undertone of this COVID-19 PTSD? Some of us are more concerned for our financial situations due to job loss or the state of the economy in general than for their health. As I’m in the high risk category, my health is my primary concern. I’m not working as I’m already in retirement; yet, I still have concerns for the economy because my income comes from investments which are currently in a volatile state making withdrawals from my account extremely expensive (taking the money and tax out at a 25% loss equals 40% in actual dollars!). Others may be concerned for their relatives going to work in high risk environments like first responders, medical professionals and those working in the delivery services as well as in stores still open.

The bottom line is that we’re all feeling Covid-19 stress, a new kind of PTSD from being isolated, shell shocked, having to live in a new reality not of our own making as well as dealing with everyday situations like going out into the “jungle” to get food or supplies. Where will it lead? No one really knows at this point. So what can we do about it? Well, some people are doing a lot of complaining about how the whole situation is being mismanaged so they think. Apparently, they would open the economy and allow people to move about. Others are saying that no, that would only contribute to more people getting sick and possibly dying. Well then, just keep the elderly and those with underlying medical conditions under wraps! I’m not proposing this; I’m merely stating what I’m hearing online and in the news. My personal opinion is of no consequence since I can’t affect the outcome of a virulent disease.    

So what’s my point and why am I writing this article? I do believe that we must stay positive. What does that look like in this volatile environment? It looks like not discussing how wrong all the government and bureaucratic decisions are, constantly looking at how many people are sick, how many have died and listening to the news all day. Yes, be informed but don’t let it all overwhelm you. Allow a certain reasonable amount of time daily to keep up to date on best practices, what one is supposed to do at the moment and stay calm about it. Getting hysterical, rioting and going against best practices is not the answer. Leave it up to the experts – anyway, the experts can’t decide what’s best – only God knows what will happen. It’s a virus and it doesn’t follow any rules. If we stay in now it may just delay the inevitable until later. But maybe later we’ll be more prepared. I certainly don’t want to have the lives of millions of people in my hands, do you? So leave it up to them and stay in your own body (or frequency).

Understand that everything that happens, even when someone dies, while others live is all part of the divine plan. We do our best every day, keep our minds positive, think the best of people, situations we find ourselves in and don’t allow our minds to be dissuaded by negative people. Don’t get on phone calls and listen to people go on about how bad everything is. It isn’t good for you and certainly not for them. We need to stay positive. It’s proven that staying positive keeps the immune system up and this is the best thing we can do for ourselves right now (that and eating healthy, getting daily exercise and drinking fresh water of course).  Know that you aren’t going crazy you’re dealing with Covid-19 PTSD. Stay positive!


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