an age old wisdom that we should look in the mirror first if we feel there is
something missing in our lives. Thus when I decided that I needed more friends and
that I would have to be more welcoming to bring people into my life. In other,
I would have to be friendlier.
Ok so how do I become friendlier
when I thought I was already a nice person who was polite and congenial to
those that I met anyway? Well I guess it came down to my energy. What was the
message that my energy was sending out? Although I felt friendly, perhaps I was
inwardly insecure or afraid, which sent a similar awkward message out to the
world. This was not what I wanted. In other words, as is quite common, I was
guilty of sending out a mixed message. My outer voice wanted one thing while my
inner voice was reflecting another. I needed to become congruent.
Thus I had to really become a happy person, feel good about myself, and raise
my self-esteem which in turn would send out a happy vibe to the world. It
wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I booked a social group and just smiled
and talked with people being non-judgmental and accepting them for who they
were. Suddenly people began to like me more. When I became more of a listener
reflecting back to people what they were saying, staying present and really
hearing them, even more people liked me. In turn, I was laughing more.
Before I knew it I was in my authentic self, feeling good and sending out
positive vibes. Soon, I was getting return positive glances at my gym class at Zumba
and in social circles. Then on travel, people would engage with me more. All of
a sudden, I then realized that i was really making friends. I had become a
friendlier person with all the associated qualities. My energy changed and I
attracted healthier people into my life that warranted my friendship. As far as
I can tell so far, these are people that really want to be friends, have no
ulterior motives or axes to grind, no mood disordered and just healthy happy
people. What a relief it is. It’s been awesome so far and I certainly hope it
continues. I offer my personal experience to you so that you can give it a try
and see what happens. As always comments are welcome.
No one on this earth is perfect. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t be here since our purpose is to learn our lessons to improve ourselves. Once we achieve perfection, our work is done. Our lessons are learned and the only reason for us to stay in this earthly realm is to continue to help others. Thus very few of us are perfected souls and still here! One of our earthly lessons is to learn to love completely and in so doing, we also learn to forgive those that aren’t so nice to us. This is a very old lesson; one that comes down through the ages. We keep working at it because it’s not an easy lesson; yet, once we learn it or perhaps have moments when we accomplish it, we realize the blessings that we get in return.
Let’s take a look at the lesson of forgiveness and how it can be a blessing in disguise. Perhaps someone has hurt us in a way that at the time seems most painful to us; a natural reaction is to turn away from that person in anger; to not want to see the individual who has caused us so much pain again; and/or to not wish to speak with the person that has hurt us in the future. In other words, we want to cut off all access to/from anyone or anything that hurts us. This is a self-protective mechanism. In a way, it is a natural way for us to protect ourselves from being hurt again. That said, when we cut ourselves off, we close down to others who may offer us something. Fear and love cannot be operating at the same time. When we have shut down due to fear of being hurt, we are not allowing love to come in either. Thus, although we are trying to protect ourselves, we are also doing ourselves a great dis-service. Perhaps this seems counter-intuitive but this is how our lessons work. To understand more, we must peel a layer of our ego away.
Rather than cutting ourselves off from those that hurt us we must find a way to forgive them for in so doing we release the negative energy that flows between us two and creates a more positive flow. The negative energy is the fear, and the positive energy is the love. Letting go of the fear of being hurt long enough to forgive is allowing love to move in and take over. Forgiveness is part of the reason we came to this earthly realm. If it were easy, it wouldn’t take so long.
So, the next time someone hurts you in some way: says something mean, doesn’t understand you, makes you wait too long, hurts your feelings, or a myriad of many other things that make you upset, think about the negative energy that you can create between you or take a moment to let go and say… “I have an opportunity to forgive and remain in the positive flow and stay in the love energy”. Doing so is being God-like and this is the reason we came to earth. And when you forgive, the blessing you have is to open to become a channel of love in return.
Inspirational memoir capturing a love that extends beyond the veil of death, of care-giving, of the ravages of Alzheimer's Disease as well as a widow's restructuring her life after the only man she ever loved was gone. Buy safely via PayPal