Why be nice?

August 7, 2013

I just had the most unpleasant experience dealing with a buyer on EBay. I’ve been buying on EBay for several years now but have only recently started selling. I decided to clean out my closets and thus make room for new things and in so doing, found opportunities to offer my gently used things to others. I am only selling the nicest of the things that I can do without, while the other no longer needed ones will be given to various charity bins. My philosophy is to be as honest as possible showing any marks, scraps or signs of wear and in some cases, make the decision not to even sell an item if there is any serious usage. Thus, the items I’m selling are in very good to excellent condition. So the stage is set.

P1040029I decided to sell a pair of beautiful red leather and suede shearling-lined boots for a fraction of their original cost. After several tries, a woman from one of the northern states bid and won the auction. I was happy to see the email notification of the sale come in. Then I waited for the payment. In my excitement, I prepared the package, being careful to include a packing slip and even buying the postage. Oh my, I realized that I was doing all this and she hadn’t paid yet so I waited until the morning. Surely, she’d pay by then. I sent an invoice according to what I learned from the EBay selling tutorial. No response. A couple days went by and still no response from her and no payment.

I began to check her feedback ratings and there were several negative ratings over the last year. In addition, I found that several people had not paid for her things as she had an EBay store herself. Wow, it hit me. Could it be possible that she just wanted to give me a hard time because she was frustrated that others had done the same to her? How nasty can one be? Doesn’t she know about the Law of Attraction? What one does sends out energy and attracts the same into their own lives. By being nasty, she was attracting buyers that were nasty. Now I understood. She liked being paid on-time but didn’t get it that it wasn’t ok to not pay others on time. “Pay me on time, but I can do what I want to you”. What thinking!

So I had to open an unpaid item case. Several days went by. I wondered what would happen. Luckily, the money for the boots was inconsequential to my lifestyle or to me paying my bills. It just hurt me that someone would be so nasty when I go out of my way to do the right thing for others. I had to void the postage and just wait.

After just short of a week, I received a notice that the case was being closed because she finally paid for the item. Apparently, she really wanted the boots, didn’t want the bad mark that an unpaid item would eventually mar her EBay record, but I still don’t know what she’ll do once she gets the boots. I have a 14 day money back policy in effect on this item. I’m convinced that she was “playing me”. What a shame. I only sent her an invoice and no nasty grams. I hope that this is the end of the story for the universe will take care of her; there is nothing else for me to do. She will bring her own reprisal. It’s such a shame really. Meanwhile, I redid the postage, took the package to the post office to make sure I had proper tracking and now I wait. We’ll see how it goes from here. Let’s all put positive energy on it! Meanwhile, be nice since the energy of being nice will come back to you!

Tune on and Tune In

October 15, 2012

A couple nights ago, I was speaking to the woman that hosts the monthly local dance in my neighborhood who also sells dance shoes. I was speaking to her about the shoes, indicating how lovely they were, even though I wasn’t in a position to buy them. For the first few sentences, she was polite and then, suddenly, she just turned off. There was no polite phrase indicating that she’d given me her “ok my time is clocked in already at five minutes so now I have to move on”, just a shift of the head and on to the next person. My reaction was of total shock. Sure, she wanted to make a sale; but, it was a public dance and selling shoes was not the whole point of the program. For me, social interchange while getting some exercise was the real reason for attending that evening. As I read energy quite well, what I felt as this was occurring was like a door slamming in my face. I was in mid-sentence when she turned her head so it seemed like my words had been cut with a knife. Wow, quite a reaction.

The next night I attended another dance in a different part of town. This time the host was celebrating one of the regular’s special birthdays. Since I knew this person, I went over to tell her how great she looked and to wish her well. Again, this woman gave me a couple of minutes and then, without warning, she turned her head and started talking to another person. Déjà vu. It had happened again.

Now I’m really good with getting my messages so here was a similar situation happening to me on two consecutive nights. In both cases, I was looking for polite conversation otherwise known as social interchange. What indicator was I not reading from these people? It was obvious that they were not interested in continuing conversations with me, thus this behavior signals that these people are not my friend. Ok, I can deal with that. I don’t have to be friends with everyone. However, where have manners gone? Alright, perhaps I’m too sensitive. Did I merely overstep boundaries? Would a sentence or two have been enough, so that by the third sentence, they had tuned me out?

Well, now I realize that I’m over-analyzing. The fault isn’t mine at all; sort of. I’m picking the wrong people to try to have a conversation with. It’s all about the energy. Not just the energy of the situation but the energy of soul development.

Let’s look deeper at what’s going on here. In both cases, I went into the scenarios with the best of intentions just wanting to be pleasant and to enjoy myself. In both cases I was totally snubbed. When we interact with those of lower vibration, it doesn’t go well since there is nothing with which to relate. That’s what was happening here. Both of these people just don’t care. They may seem to, but it’s not in there soul development to be concerned about anyone that’s not on their priority list. And that day, it wasn’t me.

However, I stop and try to help people when they come to me, no matter who they are. And, if I need to step away, I will offer some polite accolade, “Excuse me, I need to …..” or “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to talk to ….. before they leave”. If people are not polite, it’s because their soul development is just not where we are, pure and simple.

So, no more analysis and just consider the source. Turn on your intuitive capabilities and tune into your inner light. The answers of how to behave will always be there.

Meanwhile, excuse me, I need to go fix dinner.

So Rude! Or, How Not to Date

August 2, 2011

I really wonder if people care how they sound or behave anymore. In the old days, people were taught to say something nice or not to say anything. My parents taught us to have manners! What has happened to people today? Where did their sense of themselves go? Once we are out in public, we are judged not only by our appearance, but by what comes out of our mouth, as well as our actions. Don’t they understand that when they leave their manners at home, they are simply rude? Ok, so here I go.

I’ve been interacting with single men lately and have some firsthand examples in this particular demographic of the population. I met a guy, let’s call him Tom for ease of discussion, whom I was to meet this past Sunday. We agreed to meet at a restaurant near his condominium. All he had to do was leave his apartment, come down the elevator to the ground floor, walk outside his building and go next door to the restaurant. One would think that the timing for this process would be short enough for him to make it to our meeting spot by the designated time. I had to drive to the restaurant, park the car, and walk around the corner to the location and I was right on time. Tom was late indicating a sense of self-importance. He obviously didn’t want to wait for me. Immediately this sent a message to me that he really didn’t care to be polite. Okay, so this was how the date was going to start. I knew from this first moment that it wasn’t going to go well. So, for all the guys out there, make sure you arrive before your lady or you will send a similar message. You should arrive and be waiting for your date. Don’t keep her waiting. That said, there are always extenuating circumstances. But this was a Sunday afternoon and there were none. He was just late. Tom now has one strike in my mental playbook.

We go on to the greeting. I held out my hand and put on my best smile. To his credit he not only took my hand but he pulled me towards him for a kiss on the cheek. Alright, that was a nice touch, but it felt a little out of place at our first meeting. This sent a signal to me that he really didn’t know what he was doing in terms of the energy he was sending to me. One minute he’s sending an “I really don’t care about you since I can arrive late” and the next it’s “but I can kiss you on the cheek”. Frankly, I was uncomfortable with the kiss.

The next step was to actually sit down at the table. I had already sat down at a table inside the restaurant as it was close to 100 F outside. He was after all late, and so I picked the location to sit. Rather than just leaving it at that, he actually said, “Why don’t we sit outside?” I thought it was pretty obvious that I wanted to sit inside. If I had wanted to sit outside, wouldn’t I have selected a table outside at which to wait for him? To ask me was an attempt to negate my obvious preference for his. This was another rather insensitive move on his part, and one which I took as a power play. Why does power always enter into the picture? Wow, we’d just met and a power struggle already. If it had been 10 degrees cooler I would have agreed, but I really couldn’t handle the heat so I told him, “It’s really too hot for me to be outside.” Again, having to repeat my preference made me feel even more uncomfortable.

At that point, he sat down and we went on to have an interactive discussion. This is where things got even more interesting. I found topics to ask him about such as the nature of his work and his upbringing.

Total lack of interest

He never once asked about me. As long as I was willing to continue to focus on him, he was willing to talk about himself. He showed no real interest in me. So why did he bother to meet me in the first place and then be so very insincere?

Meanwhile, he ordered an ice tea and I followed suit. When Tom decided the meeting was over at just about the hour mark, he put three $1 bills down in front of him. In a not so subtle way, Tom was telling me that he had no intention of even paying for my iced tea! The guy earned a six-figure income and couldn’t spring for $3. No matter how you feel about someone, paying for the lady is the proper thing to do, especially if the tab is just a few dollars.

To sum it all up, Tom had no manners, was totally self-absorbed and was so very rude! I wonder how others treat him since what you send out comes back to you. I’d hate to be him looking in the mirror.





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