My brother died in September and I wrote the following article after he had been gone for a week. My family had been acting weird not communicating with me in any kind of normal way. I’m not going to describe what weird actually means since every family has their own dynamic.
Soon after, I went out dancing to one of the few places that allows such activity, albeit with masks and lots of hand sanitizer in between partners. As I entered, the first person I saw told me that the love of their life had died several months before of a brain tumor. The next person I met at this same dance told me that their partner had died three weeks before. As I was leaving the dance which was only an hour in length, another person said to “stay safe”- and that they could survive anything after what they’d been through with their family just a few months prior. He went on to explain how his brother was found after four days quite unrecognizable, having been living off soda and liquor [sugar and sugar]. After hearing this story I inquired if foul play had been suspected. I received a very surprising reply, apparently the children reported to the police that he and his brother had had a strained relationship which resulted in this guy being taken in for questioning.
At this point I realized that it’s not just me. There is a lot of death and transformation going around. I’m starting to study astrology and am finding meaning in the alignment of the planets. Perhaps all this strange behavior is the result of Pluto hitting into Mars or Saturn? I left the dance and went out into the night to gaze up at the night sky and saw the full moon. Several of my relationships of late of various types have gone bad. Change is all around me.
Does it help to know this? Yes it helps to put things into perspective. We have both challenges and happy times along our life journey; some high times and some low. Right now, I’m experiencing more lows than highs, but I will get through it with grace, humility, and appreciation as I move along the divine path set before me. There is a reason for everything. Comments are always welcome.
There is an expression that the only thing to fear to fear itself. Us humans like things that become routine and simple (at least many of us do). We become complacent in our every day world and are happiest when things settle down and simplify. Why fix it if it isn’t broken? Sometimes we stay in relationships past the point when they need changing. They can be with spouses, with friends or with businesses. Today, I’m addressing the latter. It’s often difficult to establish a good working relationship with our business partners – the dentist, doctor, cleaners, tailor, etc. and alot easier to just stay with the same individuals or organizations than to change even when their customer service starts to go south.
But, the divine plan is perfect in all ways. Sometimes we are lead to make changes even when it’s not comfortable. This can happen particularly when it’s in our best interest. Lately, I’ve had a few issues with my dentist’s office not respecting my personal situation. They called and canceled appointments due to problems in their office just before their vacation, cutting me off from end of year/or end of period benefits. I let it go the first time but was in a real pickle the second time.
The situation was such that I had to schedule with a different dentist. The particular work had to be scheduled as I was going to lose my benefits by the end of the month and they were going on vacation. I quickly checked my plan’s on-line provider listing, found a dental office within 3 miles and made an appointment. Wow, how fast it was! Then I wondered why I had been so reticent to change earlier. The next day I went to the new office and the staff was terrific. And, this new office turned out to be less expensive so my out of pocket expense was even less than expected. I was totally satisfied. After leaving the new office, I quietly thanked the universe for guiding me to a quality, reasonably priced and close in dentist that could adequately serve my needs.
Why had I been so afraid to change? Now I feel more open about other changes in my life. Once we start changing in one area and it goes well, we feel free to make changes in other areas. I wonder what will come next? There’s nothing to fear for the universe supports me in all that I say and do!
Inspirational memoir capturing a love that extends beyond the veil of death, of care-giving, of the ravages of Alzheimer's Disease as well as a widow's restructuring her life after the only man she ever loved was gone. Buy safely via PayPal