Making Lemonade from Lemons

December 18, 2023

There is an adage about making lemonade from lemons. This is a great idea until it’s you that has the challenge in your path. Perhaps it’s an illness, the loss of a loved one, or a physical injury – for example. It could also be smaller occurrences such as not getting the raise that you expected, someone treating you in an unkind manner, or just missing a connection on a trip. It can be anything – when it happens to YOU, it’s different. It feels different and it really hits home because it is home. It’s YOU. This is normal. But how you react to these situations, both big and small, is what makes the difference in your life. In this article, I’m going to discuss these curveballs that life throws at us and how we may or may not react to them.

In my almost ¾ of a century on earth, I’m finding that making lemonade out of lemons is not so easy when it’s YOU that the lemons are happening to. When it’s my mother that has gotten sick and I must run around the country to take care of her. And then when it’s my mother that dies, it’s very difficult. I hear many people in my generation who have lost a parent, but not until it happened to ME, and I lost my MOTHER, did I really understand what it felt like. In addition, I didn’t understand how much I had to do to settle her accounts, etc. after she died. So, when other people told me about it, I just nodded my head. NOW I get it and will have more emotional intelligence and will provide more empathy to others when I hear this.

Other people get sick. Some get better and some don’t. They live with illness and others die. Some continue to go out dancing with this issue or that. When I hear about it, I say how sorry I am and then continue dancing. It isn’t me that has the problem. I feel bad that it’s happening to them, but there isn’t anything that I can do about their having this problem. Now, occasionally, I get stepped on, my toe might be bruised, or I might get a tendon torn in my foot. Over the many years that I’ve been a dancer (ballroom and tango), I’ve had several injuries. I’ve not fussed about it; neither have I asked for help. I went to the doctor and dealt with the consequences. Sometimes, I’ve had to have procedures that required me to stay  in the house for days at a time and I didn’t ask people to come over. Perhaps I was to stoic. Others don’t know that I’d like to have company and that I really don’t want to be alone so much. That said, I don’t like to bother people since I feel that others have their own stuff that they have to deal with. I’m not dying so I can carry on. I suppose if I really had to have a ride somewhere after a procedure, I’d try to get help, but I don’t ask – or haven’t as of yet.

So now I find out that after over dancing for a few months – having a good time – I finally got an MRI and it turns out that I have little tears in both hips. In addition, there is tendonitis down the back of both legs. Wow, I really did it to myself. I had pain and just told the doctor to give me the shots and she did. Now I have to pay the price. I stopped dancing except for once a week. I miss it and don’t have much to do in the house except watch GAIA videos about esoteric things. I enjoy the videos and I’m learning a lot of stuff. I have lots of fun facts to throw out at the table when I am around other people. My friends seldom have time to watch TV so they enjoy my tidbits.

So how can I turn this physical issue into lemonade? What could there possibly be that’s good about it? For one thing, it’s slowing me down. I have time to think about my mom’s passing in a healthy way, not just the busy stuff I had to do during the first few months after she died. I miss her a lot but was just vegetating in the house – then went crazy dancing. I realize the error of my ways now – one needs to do little exercises to keep all the muscles going and not just the big ones – like with Zumba and weight training. Exercise like Barre, Pilates and Yoga work the little muscles and tendons and keeping the body flexible to reduce the likelihood of injury. I know now I have to add these types of exercises into my routine.

I also realize that I have to have friendships beyond the social circle of just dance friends whom I know three things about and can ask how you are while dancing. I need social friends to just hang out with other than dancing. I have to widen my world.

In addition, I have to find another goal in life. For the last three years of my Mom’s life I cared for her and she was always in my thoughts – what I had to do for her or someone was calling me telling me that she fell, etc. Now there is a big hole that I have to fill with a new direction. I have many years left and need to be productive – not in a working sense, just as a human being. I want to help others, be of service in some way so I need to find my next volunteer situation.

So how does one make lemonade out of lemons? Start from the beginning, figure out what the lesson is and go from there. The answers always come.

Comments and questions are always welcome.  

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Role Reversal – the continuing story

June 5, 2023

I haven’t posted in awhile since my attention has been on my mother. Over the last couple of years, I’ve had to step in and take care of her since my brother died. While I was out in California, I did the cooking, cleaning, took her to the doctor but also had time to take her out to dinner as well as to get her nails/toes done. These were the variety of activities that we could do together.

Probably her favorite thing to do together was going to the Ritz Carlton in Rancho Mirage. We normally went early like 11:30 AM so that I could get a table close to the outside without being in the direct sun nor being inside. It was a perfect spot that I reserved ahead of time. In California the weather can be 100F early in the day. The door men would greet us as “Good morning, Ladies” and mom would beam. I always parked close by in a handicapped spot dropping her off first. The people there were always so nice to us both, but especially to my mom. She loved it. She enjoyed the ambiance and the beautiful view overlooking the swimming pool with palm trees. It was gorgeous and a view to remember. It’s one of my favorite memories.

It wasn’t all good. At home, mom would blast the TV to the point that I could hardly stand it as her hearing decreased. As there is nothing wrong with my hearing, some times I had to go out for a walk so that she could watch her favorite movies (mostly on the Turner Classic station) or on the oldies TV shows like Laurence Welk. Of course, I was familiar with both the movies and the TV programs but I just don’t like really loud noise. I’m the same way at the gym needing to use earplugs if the music is played too loud. So, we figured out how to co-exist during this time when I was caring for her far from my home. In addition, I’d make dinner and she’d get up a few minutes after eating to watch her favorite shows. I felt like a mother with a teenager eating quickly to go do other things. I was left to eat myself alone and do the dishes.

While all this was happening, I didn’t complain as I had to navigate my home maintenance during the pandemic flying back to take care of things. When it got to hot for me, she finally relented and agreed to move back East. Until this point, she refused and my mother, even at her advanced age had a definite mind of her own.

I could tell that she was having more trouble walking, moving from using a cane to needing a rollator. Luckily, I made the decision, with her acceptance to move her back closer to me. I found a wonderful senior living place for her just 14 minutes away. Little did I know how many times I’d be making that drive. I really didn’t think she’d live as long as she did, but with people around her, activities and my attention to every detail of her life, she lived another 18 months.

The move was difficult in the sense that it was mid-pandemic, and moving companies were in demand so I had to rent an entire truck. I told my mom, “I can buy you all new stuff for what this is costing”. She replied, “But I want my things”. Ok, so I figured out what would fit into the new place – a large one bedroom with living room and full kitchen that she was moving into from a two bedroom with den. Of course, many things had to be left behind with charities, given away to friends as well as some things sent to my house. Finally, the day came and she made the 10-hour trip back to Virginia like a champ. I was surprised that she did so well. I arranged for United to have a wheel chair for the layover in Denver.

Then as she declined further, my responsibilities increased to the point that it was more like caring for a child than for a mother. As she became ill, I was the one that everyone called – if she fell, if she went into the hospital, etc. Then when the final illness happened, it was almost a month of constant care – either in the hospital or a few days at home with round the clock nursing staff. I was a nervous wreck worrying about every detail. Finding the staff, selecting the right person, dealing with the insurance, etc. I was with my mother for 3 full days at the end sleeping in a chair next to her for 2 nights not wanting her to be alone at the end. No one should die alone. Her final moments were in my arms with me hugging her with one arm, holding her hand with the other and kissing her forehead to say good-bye. She looked angelic, and then I knew that the soul had left as she turned into a corpse. It’s hard to say out loud, but that’s how it was.

Now it’s been six weeks since my mother passed into the next life but she speaks to me daily saying that she’s ok and not to worry about her. I miss her a lot and feel like I’ve lost a child more than my mother with all the care that I gave her. I never had children of my own, but now I feel like I know something of what it would have been like to worry and care for another human being. Comments are always welcome.

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Remembering our Godly Soul

November 9, 2022

I recently started taking a class with the Rabbi’s wife in addition to the ladies’ bible study in which I’ve been participating for many years. This new class concerns a very special book called the Tanya, written at the end of the 18th century by the founder of the Chasidic sect of Judaism. In our first class this past Wednesday, we learned that there are two souls – one is called the animal soul which governs out instincts and our nature/ego while the other soul is concerned the aspect that connects us to the divine will. So, when we are doing things for others but for a selfish intent, it’s still part of the animal soul. Likewise, when we sit quietly and ask how we should be used to serve others or even how doing the laundry can become a divine task, then we are using our Godly soul. Although I’ve studied this concept before, I felt that I needed a refresher due to an incident that happened a couple days before.

Like most events in life, things happen for a reason; at the time it may seem like it’s just an action/reaction situation. Upon later reflection, however, we may find that there’s a deeper meaning to the scenario. Here’s the high level version, and of course, my side of the story.

So, what happened? I came home from an exercise class to find some young children playing with a very large ball in the middle of my street. Normally, over the many years that I’ve lived in my townhouse neighborhood, on the rare occasion when children are playing in the street, they normally are with an adult – either a parent or a guardian of one type or another. But this time, the kids were playing alone. (As I’d learn later, their father was inside their house.) The kids didn’t move as my car approached which meant that I had to stop for them and, in fact, they took their good old time getting out of the way. I was very surprised at this behavior making me feel like I was inconveniencing them to not obstruct traffic; rather, it was implied that the street was their right and I was a nuisance that could just wait for them.  I take issue with kids that have no respect for adults and this situation was not going over well with me from the start. First, was the playing in the street without adult supervision and the second thing was ignoring the right of way of a car to drive down the street for the driver to get home.

Once in my driveway and safety parked in my garage, I walked back to where the kids were and said, “it would be safer for you all to play down the end of the street”, to which they just ignored me. I really wasn’t surprised since they had taken an attitude when they say my car initially. Apparently, they were being raised to believe that they were the center of the universe by their parents, so of course, every one else needs to yield for them. I’ve seen this behavior before and it produces adults with no sense of responsibility so I really hate to see it in children. I have family members that were held up to the light when young and now they are a gift from God… and have no respect for the rest of the family. It’s a shame what has happened over the last few years and has hurt me terribly. That said, I was really triggered by these kids.

Then I said, “Where is your mother?” to which I got a “She’s not home.” But they didn’t tell me that their father was home. A few minutes later I got a pounding at my door. When I went down the stairs, I saw a huge man furiously angry wound up and ready for bear as the expression goes who said, “How dare you speak to my children like that?”. Really, like what? Concerned for their welfare that they shouldn’t play in the street and that it would be safer to play down the end of the street.

He wasn’t interested in what actually happened because his kids had said that I took pictures of them, which I didn’t and it isn’t against the law anyway. However, he was hostile, abusive and threatening to say the least. And this wasn’t the end. I made the mistake to post on the neighborhood information board not realizing that his wife had no time to monitor the kids, nor take them to the neighborhood park play ground only one block away, but had lots of time to monitor this information board. In just a few days, there were 65 comments to which she replied to each one in turn stating her opposing view. I was amazed. It wasn’t difficult to figure out which one she was and even a few days later she contacted me directly.

At that point, I knew I needed to know my legal position, so I contacted the local police department non-emergency number. The really nice police lady was totally supportive, told me that I’d done nothing wrong and that this crazy family had no recourse against me legally but that if it should happen again, I should call the police at which point the parents would be told to keep the kids out of the street – private road or not. I definitely felt better after this conversation since the contact with this crazy lady had taken me off balance.

I went for a walk around the lake near home. As I walked over the foot bridge around some people, I accidentally walked too far to the right, and my foot slipped causing me to fall down on my side. Some really nice people came to my aide while others just kept on walking. I sat there for a few minutes questioning the meaning of the situation and received guidance that there are nice people in the world and some that just aren’t very nice. It was up to me to surround myself with people of a higher vibration – those of the light, and stay clear of those with a lower vibration – those in the darkness.

When I felt better, I stood up, finished my walk and came home with more resolve to limit my access to people in the light. I deleted my original post and realized I had allowed myself to use my animal soul – my ego had gotten in the way and that I had to reconnect to the light. The fall was the wakeup call – to shake me to remember who I am as a spiritual being. It really worked. Nothing was broken, but I did have to stay in for the weekend recuperating and allowing the swelling on my ankle to go down. I was very lucky that I didn’t get hurt any worse. I learned my lesson to stay connected to my Godly Soul. Sometimes we have to get shaken up to learn our lessons.

Comments are always welcome.

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Not Knowing

April 18, 2022

I’m reading a book on Antisemitism that is the total of presentations for a conference of the same subject conducted at the University of Indiana this past Fall (2021). It’s written by Academics for Academics which makes sense since they present to each other. My issue with it is that the language is not easy for me to understand. I’m not putting myself down nor am I criticizing the presenters. When one is in a world, that’s the framework that these people have. But for those outside of this particular scope/perspective, it’s difficult to comprehend. It would be like trying to understand quantum physics without really studying it nor having a background in it.

Antisemitism

Why am I pointing this out? Because in reading this book of articles on Antisemitism, I’m learning all the things that I didn’t know about the subject. I must point out to my readers that I’m Jewish so I definitely know what it’s like to be Jewish and to have some people not like me for just being Jewish. I’ve also experienced people being really mean to me for being Jewish. In other words, I’ve experienced antisemitism without knowing the “definitions” of antisemitism nor understanding the academic framework surrounding the intellectual discussion of it.

Again, why is this important? Because not knowing, and then knowing about it opens a whole new world. Now that I know about all the ways that I was wronged in my life based on my being Jewish without realizing it, should I be even more upset than when the particular incident happened? In most cases, these incidents happened many years ago, but I’m coming to realize that many actions people are doing even more recently is actually because they don’t like my Jewishness; in other words, they are acting in an antisemitic way towards me. Does it make me feel any better or worse in knowing? Or in Not Knowing, being in ignorance of why people were being mean to me was it any better?

An interesting point is that most of the speakers who presented and who do present on antisemitism are not Jewish. So, it’s a conundrum to me how someone who isn’t Jewish and doesn’t have any Jewish blood is so taken with others not liking Jews to actually make it a field of study. Do people wonder about this or is it just me? There are many people all over the US and in other countries in this field of antisemitism that are not Israeli, nor Jewish and study this topic. What is their motivation? I see many names that appear to be Austrian, German, etc. Is there any correlation between the nationalities of the seekers with their reasons for studying such a subject when they are not connected to the situation, nor were they harmed by the subject except in concept. “When one of my fellow humans is wronged then so am I”. That’s pretty egotistical if I don’t say so myself. But I really have no idea why these academics are studying this topic so I can’t presume anything.

As I’ve continued my reading of this book, the answer to my questions is becoming more known to me: the speakers/authors are from countries involved in the holocaust and its aftermath. Again, from my readings I’m learning about how these countries are getting tired of apologizing for their involvement in the harming or not protecting more of their citizens from harm during the WWII destruction of so many Jewish lives.

Of course, people of many religions died during this period but most were killed during war times not just rounded up from their homes and murdered in one way or another. The systematic killing of six million Jews is horrific by any historical standard.

There appears to be a new generation of leaders that want to move away from apologizing and even accepting their past history to now shifting away from blame. In other words, they are attempting to change history. Not only are they re-writing what actually happened, but this new perspective is rationalizing the entire historical period away from their minds. Now it’s been done by “Others” and not “Them” so their people can breathe easier. With this new understanding, I can see why some of the authors are taking a stand on the resultant antisemitism that is arising out of this, well it’s not us, but them at fault. Again, it’s the Jews who are at fault. In other words, antisemitism is more on the rise than ever.

Of course, many people study ancient Roman culture and they have nothing to do with ancient romans. They didn’t live at that time nor are they responsible for anything that happened then but they still study this period in history. So, I guess if people want to study about another group of people and why others hate them, it’s ok.

As for my understanding what it’s like to be Jewish and to totally feel what it’s like to have been persecuted during the war, let me say that most of my relatives were killed during the holocaust. I believe that this point makes me able to say that I feel the pain of the persecution through the fact that I have so little family left. I especially am reminded of this fact on holidays and when people tell me that they’re about to visit cousins or other family members. I do have some family but only because those members of my family that did come over in the early 1900’s have married and had kids and they have had kids so there are a few generations in the US. Unfortunately, anyone that stayed behind is no longer.

As I continue my reading into this fascinating book and my NOT KNOWING becomes MORE KNOWING, I’m learning how more of the same old perspective that got Jews rammed into pogroms in the late 19th century is recurring; in addition, it contributed to the “it’s ok to kill the Jews because they caused all the ills going on in society thinking” is again gaining momentum. This is really news to me so my NOT KNOWING here is blowing my mind. Apparently, people just don’t learn from history. Are we going to have another world war over it? Do we have to have more lives lost like before? Or is this craziness the reason that non-Jews recognize the reason to fight against antisemitism before it’s too late? As this is a huge subject, for now, I’ll leave it as the answer. We all need to use our own minds and not be led like sheep to the slaughter by those that wish to tear down the very fabric of our society – (even with it’s edges and curves!)

Comments or questions are welcome.

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The downside of too much control

September 27, 2021

I grew up with depression-era parents where our opinion was neither asked for nor tolerated. We were ruled with an iron hand and expected to obey without question. I was scared to death of my father and although not as much of my mother, she had her ways of making me pay for not listening to her. She would get upset with me at the slightest provocation and wouldn’t speak to me like she did before my wedding. Forget that it’s supposed to be the happiest time in a young woman’s life, that’s just how my Mom was, and still is, frankly. You just didn’t want to get on the wrong side of her. So I really get that the next generation, raised by similar types of parents would allow the pendulum, so to speak, to swing the other way.

Misbehaving

So what are the up and the down side of this type of child raising? Certainly it’s a great idea to promote well-being in a child. Regardless of the child’s IQ or physical ability, he or she should be encouraged to do their best to succeed in life. Success should be judged individually and not against a yard stick of others. There will always be someone faster, smarter or slimmer out there, so what is this child good at? Perhaps they are kind, willing to share or a born leader. They may not be the best reader or understand calculus. We should promote and encourage each child for what they bring into this world. I saw an amazing story the other day about a beautiful woman born without legs. She was actually adopted by truly loving parents who supported her being the best she could be and she didn’t let them down. Her friends accepted that she was just a smaller version of what they knew as a person but she is really beautiful. This girl grew up not knowing limitations and went on to excel in acrobatics. Seeing her perform on the internet not only made me smile, it gave me a great sense of awe in the world we live in. She had beauty inside and out. So here is an example of supporting a child and having it work out.

There are many similar examples of parents teaching their kids to be self-sufficient and growing into productive, highly functioning adults that accept responsibility in the world. But what can go wrong when parents treat their kids as if the child is the center of the universe? We’ve all experienced the screaming kid in the restaurant where the parent is hardly noticing while the rest of the diners try to look away or somehow quickly finish their own meals to leave. It’s so annoying to listen to loud voices in a restaurant of any kind, let alone a screaming kid. One goes out to dinner to enjoy a meal otherwise, well, just stay home. Then there’s the similar situation on a plane. I’ve had very long flights where young children are either crying or fighting with each other while the parents don’t do any kind of productive parenting. When we were kids, we were given Dramamine and simply slept during the trip. It was better for everyone involved. If anyone disagrees with me, feel free to express your opinion since I’m certainly expressing mine.

So what else can happen when kids are given too much free rein? Well, in the case of my brother’s kids, they grew up with wonderful athletic skills as well as doing quite well in the academic department also. They were surrounded by friends and as they came from good looking parents they had no trouble finding boy/girl-friends. Thus by most standards they were good kids, doing well in school, getting good grades and being quite popular. So what happened when they hit the real world? Well, here’s where things get a bit dicey. Since just about everything had been done for them for way beyond the beginning of adulthood (normally, when kids graduate from college they go off to start their own careers and also pay for their own apartments/homes, food, clothing, cars, etc.) As their parents could afford it, the kids continued to get their way paid for and to have their way with most things well into the next decade. When they hit a snag, like the girl had an argument with her long-time boyfriend, she just left him. If I said anything to her that she didn’t like, even casually, she’d act really snippy with me. And the boy began to exhibit extreme anger tendencies when things didn’t go his way, even to the point of personal attacks reminiscent of a much younger person. In other words, they were both rather emotionally immature because they didn’t learn much from the school of hard knocks. Their parents had so protected them from the world, when the world finally came in around them, they kind of failed the test from my vantage point. That’s not to say that they will never learn, but they haven’t learned yet.

If it seems that I have an axe to grind, you are correct, but I won’t air my dirty laundry. The general idea is enough for you to get my point. Too much control isn’t good just as too little control isn’t either. Like most things in life, we need to find balance.

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Every year above ground is good

January 24, 2019

When you remember someone that has passed, are there funny sayings or mannerisms that come to mind? In the case of my father, I always remember what he used to say when I asked him about his getting another year older and his practical response, “every day above ground is a good day”. So each year when I’d ask him, “Daddy, how does it feel to be 85, or 86, etc.?” “He’d reply, every year above ground is a good year”. Even though I knew what the response would be, I continued to ask him every year until there wasn’t a response. He passed the day after his 90th birthday and he wasn’t able to talk on his special day.

What is the alternative? If one is not above ground, then obviously, one is not alive. But to live, really live means to be more than just above ground and room temperature. This is the lesson for this article. Sometimes I feel like life is moving so fast that there isn’t time to do more than just keep up. When I thought about all the things I had to do today and realized that I was tired, I decided to just take a nap. Once I woke up I realized that none of the really important things that I had on my list were important at all. If none of them got done, it was really ok. In the overall scheme of the universe, none of it was important.

So what is important? When we are above ground, during our living years as the song goes, we should aim to make each day count, but for what? What’s really important? Some possible answers are to be a good person, to love, to help others, and to learn our lessons. Now you might ask how one knows what their lessons are? I’ve written many articles about life lessons so it’s not an easy answer here except to say that we have to pay attention to what happens in our lives and do our best to follow the path that’s best for us. Sometimes what’s best is not what we really wish to do. When I think about my father, he was always busy with hobbies and studying things. He valued education and taught us to do the same. He also valued hard work, probably a product of his depression-era younger years; although still a good foundation for him and a good legacy he gave to his children.

We each have to figure out how to use the time we have above ground and make sure that every day above ground is a good day.

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If a tree could talk

January 7, 2019

Ever walk by an interesting tree and wonder about it? Old is It? Do animals live in its branches or inside part of its trunk? What stories could it tell you about people that have been walking by. Some trees are called witness trees because they’ve seen horrible events… or maybe two people got engaged under a tree. All of these are possibilities if a tree could tell you what it’s seen or heard.tree

What is precipitating this question for me? Recently there was a tree that fell across the walking path behind my townhome. As I stood looking at this huge brown tree devoid of leaves, essentially dead, it fell across the path, having fallen due to excessive rain, I wondered about its life.

After a heavy rain storm, I decided to get out and take a walk on my to find the path blocked by this fallen tree. For some strange reason I actually felt sorry for the tree, as it had come to the end of its life. Then I thought again. No, perhaps it was the end of its living life but in death it would provide a means of life to other creatures. Does that mean it continues on in another fashion?

Can we say the same thing about our own lives? When we end our physical lives and change our form do we continue on in another fashion and live life in another form ourselves? It might be another version of us; the spiritual version that is eternal just like the tree continues on even when it decays into bits of wood and then into bits of earth. It then becomes elements that give nourishment to plants and other living things.  As we change form do we help other living things to flourish? Does the spirit inside us help others to flourish? I believe we can do so when we become spirit guides also known as guardian angels. This is when our souls choose to help others while we are in spirit form.

Just as this tree will one day provide a place for a nest for birds, a home for squirrels as well as mosquitoes or even other little creatures, we too can help other people thrive once we cross over.

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Angels on my Shoulder

December 10, 2018

During my recent trip to Portugal I had several experiences where I felt that synchronicity was at play to the extent that it must be my angels at work helping me. The story I’m going to relate in this article is that of my day trip to the historic town of Sintra, where just when I needed help, it was available to me.

After several attempts to take a group tour on this particular Saturday during my vacation failed, I decided to go it alone. Armed with travel brochures, internet information on the key sights, and information of what not to miss, I left my hotel about 8:30 am with a very positive outlook. I had already mastered the metro system to the point of knowing where the nearest stop was and where to get off, but I didn’t know how to find the connecting train station for the out of town trip to Sintra. Buying the ticket was easy at the ticket booth which was manned with a live person, asking in English is a forte of mine as I don’t speak Portuguese.

angelThe next step was to get off the metro and find the train station. I started to inquire of my fellow metro passengers who either didn’t understand me or didn’t know. This was strange to me since it was with in a short walk of the metro stop. Everything is different when one is in another country and not familiar. On the third try I happened upon a family with an elderly gentleman who seemed to be the local resident and the others, the visitors. In asking this group about the location of the train station, I discovered they were from Poland. I chimed in that my heritage is Polish as my Mother’s father came from Poland in the early 1900s, a town called Silencia. To my surprise, I was told that they came from this same place. I was asking for help from people of my heritage land! As we got off the metro, the elderly gentleman, most likely their father, speaking no English but made to understand my goal from his relatives, pointed the way to the train station. Yes! Mission accomplished!

Having my ticket in hand I quickly found my train on the track already arrived. I barely made it into a seat before the train left so my timing was quite good. As I settled in the seat I had found after searching for one up and down several cars, I noticed French spoken near me.

 In my usual brilliant way, I asked the young woman closest to me “are you from France?” She replied, “yes, we are from Lyon”, referring to the 3 couples in her group. This brief introduction began a conversation about our day in Sintra and planned itineraries. After hearing about the place I wanted to see they changed  their plan and decided to join me. I was thrilled. We all got off the train together and for the next 6 hours became a new unit, wherein I was treated like one of them… something like being an adopted Mom. The young woman had left her 8 month old baby at home for this weekend away with her Mom so perhaps she was in a very nurturing mode.

It turned into a wonderful day for me, where at first I thought I’d be alone I was accompanied by a nice group of friendly people all day while touring interesting sights. We even stopped and had tea together. It was a very warm feeling to chat and interact with these young people for the day. About 3pm we parted company as our desires changed… with me wanting to view the inside of the Pena Palace and their only wanting to see the outside gardens.. We said goodbye with invitations from the young woman to visit Lyon.

About an hour later I walked down the hill, took the bus back to the train station, then the train to the metro and as I was coming up the stairs from the metro station I looked up in amazement… could my eyes be deceiving me? There was the same group of French people looking just as amazed! I knew then that I had been experiencing a divinely inspired day complete with angels on my shoulder to look out for me. How else could I have met the same group back in Lisbon?

Although I had a two week vacation on my own and did some organized tours during that time, some of my best moments were when I just trusted that I’d be ok on my own and went out into the great unknown. It was when I was in the hands of my guides, that I was truly guided.

Comments are always welcome.

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Trusting Guidance

July 26, 2018

Ever get a funny feeling in your stomach and realize that a little voice residing there is telling you something?  It’s becoming well known how the stomach has a second brain with lots of emotional intelligence. But the point of my story is that I get my own inner guidance in many ways, one of which may be discomfort in the stomach.

Over the weekend, I had dinner with a dance friend. Our plan was to enjoy dinner and the jazz group that was playing at the Vietnamese-French restaurant nearby, then we would drive to a local dance venue. It would take about 30 minutes to drive over. Normally, this would be a routine trip, nothing to be concerned about except on this evening there had been reports that heavy rain was due to fall. I tried to tell myself that a bit of rain was nothing to fear; that said, I kept remembering the terrible rain that I drove through back in January when a truck tire exploded and like a missile sent the remains crashing into my car causing me whiplash and $2,000 damage to my almost new car. Needless to say, it was upsetting and traumatizing. I had come out of it alive when such a crash could have killed me. Hence, there was trepidation over driving in heavy rain.

My friend was insistent that I go out with him and to help alleviate my concerns he offered to drive me and then take me home later since we’d met up for the dinner as dance friends often do. I reluctantly agreed. So off we went under an umbrella with me thinking, “Well, it’s not raining hard now. Perhaps we’ll get there before the downpour”. We were only about a mile from my home, and the local plaza where we’d eaten, when I felt a really strange feeling in my chest and stomach. I don’t normally have such pains. I told myself that it was only a 30 minute drive and that I would be ok. I assumed it was just a bit of fear after having had the accident back in January; leftover trauma, so to speak.

alarmAs we approached the highway entrance, an alarm on my cell phone caused me to say, “Stop and pull over”. I knew the sound of that siren type of alarm. It was used to indicate an emergency situation. In this case it was the NWS warning people to get off the road due to the impending dangerous weather, heavy rain and possible flooding. My reaction was immediate. I said, “No! I’m not going.” And we turned around and my friend drove the short distance back to my house.

Now one might ask,”Was it a coincidence that the alarm came in just before we got on the highway when it would be more difficult to turn around and go home?” We were only one mile away, so returning was easy. And my friend certainly understood at this point so no harm done in any case. I got inside the house and was totally grateful to be safe, then settled into the rest of the evening in front of the TV with my cat Skylar. I was never so happy to be in my PJs!

I do believe that my angels were watching over me. That when I needed them, guidance helped me with an outward signal that staying in was the right thing to do. The next day I saw on the local internet about all the down trees, accidents, cars that got stuck in water, people that had to be rescued from their cars, etc. it wasn’t a joke, nor a figment of my imagination. There had been real danger and I had been warned. I am truly blessed. Comments and observations are welcome.

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Letting Go:Moving Through Life Phases

July 9, 2018

We’ve all heard about the mental benefits of cleaning out closets. The old adage goes something like this: cleaning out drawers, closets or the garage is symbolic for letting go of junk in our minds as well as the literal letting go of physical junk in the process. Well, the other day, I went through lots of papers in a large filing cabinet that contained my work history. In going through these files, I threw out lots of papers related to my work history including performance duties and reviews; which, was essentially let go of my working career as I move into retirement.

lifephasesAs I went through each file, I spent a moment thinking about that particular job, what my accomplishments were, and how it went overall in that particular environment. So in those few moments, I relieved a number of working years. I’ve working for the federal government, for the telecommunications industry and later, back for the government as a contractor. So, one could say that I’ve done it all, figuratively of course; at least from the viewpoint of the Washington, DC corporate working world. I’ve had all different types of managers that ran the gamut from pretty good to pretty awful! Some of my work involved teams that went well with just a few that didn’t. For the most part, my work history was a continuum that spanned forty years and went from lower level secretarial to mid-level management. Overall, I feel good about what I’ve done over all these years and I’m really ready to let someone else stand in the limelight. I’ve had my day as they say.

I officially ended my working career with the end of 2017, but there is always leftover stuff to do. I began to discontinue my websites recently and decided rather than shutting them down completely to downsize one and just keep the domain name of the other. Letting go entirely is difficult. There is so much history in setting up a business (which I did once I left corporate America in 2008). For the past 10 years, I’ve operated an intuitive life coaching business that interacted and hopefully helped my hundreds of clients (300+). But as I let go of these papers, I was really letting go of all of this.

There is more to it than merely saying one will stop working. The ego has a hold on who we are. Is it ok for me to not be the title that I held whether it is project manager, minister, Reiki master, life coach, etc.? In some respects, I will never stop coaching since anyone that gets near me and has a problem gets the benefit of my advice… albeit for free; or my Reiki energy if they have a hurt/pain; or my ear if they have a problem. Thus, even though I’m no longer in the paid category of the workforce, I’m still at it, just as a volunteer. For me now, I feel that the best title is Starteacher Joanne, a title given to me by my spiritual adviser many years ago because I’m an old soul with much innate wisdom which I love to share.

Although I’ve let go of my papers and my working career, I will continue to be Starteacher Joanne, a Lightworker. Please follow me at Joanne’s Starteacher Blog

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