People and processes don’t always cooperate

August 26, 2019

We all know, or have learned the hard way that human communication is not an exact science. The old adage is that’s why there are lawyers! Today, I’m going to relate a situation that I experienced regarding a transaction on EBay. The whole interaction went from a misunderstanding to bad then to worse. Then it got ugly! Sometimes people and processes just don’t go as one might expect.

 First, let me say that my perspective on EBay is pretty laid back because it’s not my main business; it’s very much a hobby and a casual one at that. I sell stuff to get it out of my closet and if I’m lucky, I get a few dollars for it. So what’s my story? I offered a beautiful designer red silk dress for sale at a fabulously low price plus shipping. The woman in question, whom I will call “The Buyer”, sent an offer. What I saw on my end was “an offer to buy at $50” which I accepted. I’ve been doing EBay for about 8 years so I don’t question offers. I just look at the figure and either accept the bid or not. Usually people pay within a day or two. My listing clearly states that non-payment after 48 hours will result in a cancelled transaction. If someone made a mistake in pushing “buy”, then an email to me indicating such will solve the problem. I’m not out to force any sales, so if there’s a mistake, I’ll cancel the transaction.

I accepted the offer and the EBay system put the offer in as a sale and sent the Buyer an invoice for the price plus shipping. No response. Several days go by. I sent a nice note with a reminder invoice – “is there a problem, I ask?” No response. More time goes by.  The EBay system opened a non-payment case against the Buyer automatically, which when she received the notice made her furious resulting in her sending me a scathing email stating that I hadn’t read her offer. What? I never saw any email or further detail about her offer. Apparently, she writes that she’s retired and doesn’t have the money. (Why buy if you don’t have money??) At this point it was very confusing to me because she referred to 8/30 which I assumed meant August 30, but it was August 20. I had no idea what she was talking about. Rather than calmly explain to me that she’d get money at the end of the month which eventually I realized, she raved at me that I hadn’t read the offer details (that I’d never seen) and basically was saying how stupid I was for causing this problem. As it wasn’t an auction item, just a fixed price, make an offer, she could have waited a few days until her pension check arrived. Rather, she chose to expect me to make the system work according to what was best for her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be.

It became obvious to me that she had anger issues and was venting at me for other situations where she hadn’t been heard. I was just the one getting her venom over these frustrations in her life. I kept trying to write to her calmly explaining that the system was automated, that offers are translated into purchases, and that non-payment cases can be opened without me doing anything. She insisted that I cancel the transaction at this point which was impossible according to the EBay system even after I tried calling them directly. I wasted so much time over almost a week for a non-sale with this woman. I had packed this gorgeous dress with tissue paper in a strong box so that it wouldn’t get wrinkled… basically for naught. After 2 days of her insisting that I cancel the transaction, I find that she paid. It was the night before the payment was due or a negative mark would go against her. I figured that she paid to clear the case so that I could cancel the transaction. So I went into the transaction, which was now clear, and cancelled it. I thought this was what she wanted. She had not sent me an email to tell me that she changed her mind about cancelling the transaction and now she wanted it. So what happened next?

The next morning I got a wailing email, “oh, I’m going to cry. You cancelled the transaction after I paid for the dress!”  Well, yeah, after receiving email after email insisting that I cancel and no communication indicating otherwise, what else could I do? Then I get more communication about why did I do that? It’s like being in Wonderland! Ok, so I thought about it and my final email to her was my best attempt to be spiritual, “I’m sorry that you’re not happy with this transaction. Sometimes people and processes don’t go as one might want or expect. Rather than directing anger at me, a bit of patience might have been a better idea. It would also be a good idea to find a healthier channel to vent your frustrations that to direct them at me”.

The moral of the story is that when crazy interactions occur like this story; take a moment to reflect on the situation. Chances are there’s more going on than the immediate reaction. Usually, there are related experiences that the person is reacting to in this lifetime or a prior one. It’s easy to ignore the person but just a bit harder to consider how you can be a guiding light. Just consider that she needed to be reminded of her behavior and it took me going beyond the physical to tell her about it.

Although I had planned for this to be the end, there’s more. The woman wrote back telling me that “You’re a fool!” Well so much for being a messenger of light. I thought about her response a lot and I truly believe that I was guided to write back to her what I had to give her a chance to reconsider her self-righteous position. Unfortunately, she failed the test. Now the universe takes over and karma steps in. I believe that she’s really in scarcity and has a lot of hatred, anger and hostility built up over being in a compromising financial situation. But what got her there? Meanwhile, I live in abundance and reap the rewards. Comments are always welcome.             

Leave a Comment » | believing, chakras, inspirational stories, manners and behavior, personal development, philosophy of life, Spirituality, universal principles | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne

What goes around doesn’t always come around

June 24, 2015

terrierEvery once in a while although we try to be nice to those around us, still someone just doesn’t return the kind feelings. And so it went with one of my neighbors. Sadly this negative state of affairs went on for many years. Thinking back, the only instance of interaction that I can even remember is when I chatted with him, more me than him, as two new neighbors having just moved into a neighborhood. At that time, he was washing his car and I was about to head into the park to take a walk. His house is just at the end of the cul-de-sac before the steps to the walkway. Although I interpreted the brief interchange as pretty normal, he must have thought otherwise; since, from that moment onward he never spoke to me again. In fact, when I would pass him going on my walks with his little terrier, he would turn away as if I had developed the plaque. And the same would be true if he was walking with his wife. At first I wondered why he would be so abhorrent towards me and then I just figured he must have thought I had some ulterior motive in speaking to him. Isn’t it a shame that a single woman can’t approach a married man in her neighborhood without being branded a hussy? Well, of course, I’m being sarcastic, but the end result is the same – he just wouldn’t speak to me. Eventually, I accepted the situation and passed it off. Everyone is not meant to be one’s friend.

Now my philosophy is that we are constantly presented with situations that test our moral fiber, as well as opportunities to learn lessons. One of these situations came to pass during Memorial Weekend, when I went for my usual walk in the park. As I approached the bridge just before the plaza, I saw my neighbor’s dog surrounded by people – with his collar but no neighbor at the end of the leash! To confirm my suspicion I asked the lady hovering over the little dog to check his tag and sure enough, the address was my street. “That’s my street and that’s my neighbor’s dog”, I said. “I’ll walk him home”, I continued without giving it another thought or considering that I had a plan to go to an event that would have to be by-passed to complete this new mission. After all, if my pet were lost, I’d want someone to get him home too. But when I tried to take the dog back into the plaza to first look for the owner, the little guy wouldn’t budge. He seemed afraid. So I headed for home and he willingly trotted along. I asked the concerned pet lady to come too since I really wasn’t sure how my having the neighbor’s dog would be received even with my best of intentions.

Once back at the neighbor’s home, his wife was at the garage door, so I called inside, “I have your dog!” She came outside, took the leash out of my hands, barely saying any thank-you with a very surprised look on her face. I felt that I had done my neighborly duty, spiritual responsibility and just plain obligation according to my karmic belief system. I even expressed concern over the owner’s possible safety if he’d allowed the dog to get loose. Was he in poor health himself or possibly had an accident?

I decided I really wanted to finish my walk, so back I went into the park and headed down to the bridge and the plaza. At the same spot where I intercepted the dog, I walked right into the owner – now about 25 minutes later. He too had a very surprised look on his face when I said, “I walked your dog home, and your wife has him”. The neighbor, obviously frustrated from searching for the little dog, was now relieved and gave me a warm-hearted thank-you. And I walked on completing my walk not thinking more about it.

The next day, there was a knock at my door. It was the neighbor with his terrier in toe, and this time he really thanked me with great emotion in his eyes. I doubt that I will ever have an issue with this neighbor again. Even though he had directed negative energy towards me for many years, I chose to do the right thing by him. I took the high road as one would say. Now this could just be a case of coming full circle and feeling good about it. But the story doesn’t end here.

The following weekend I went on a retreat and lots of unexpected good things came my way. So not only did I create positive karma, I also was in abundance and began to reap rewards very quickly! And in the few weeks since then, other good things have come my way. Holding one’s self up to a higher standard may be difficult at times, but in the end, I certainly feel it pays off. Being a good soul has its rewards now as well as later. What goes around doesn’t always come around – sometimes it’s better.

Leave a Comment » | inspirational stories, Law of Abundance, Spirituality, universal principles | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne

God Pays Parking Ticket

July 7, 2013

A few weeks back I went to a spiritual program in a quaint historic town in West Virginia. It’s a lovely place, complete with a small university which has its own campus sidewalks patrolled by a security force. If you’ve ever visited such a small town, you might also be familiar with the local police and how vigilant they can be at prosecuting any one that might break local rules, regardless of the circumstances. So here’s how it went. I arrived at the location about 4pm and pulled up to the side of the campus sidewalk in what I believed was a legal spot even putting money in the meter. I then attended dinner and the evening program after registering in the dorm.

ImageThe next morning I went out to the car to find a ticket on the windshield. At first I was very confused thinking that I had gotten the ticket for parking near the dorm. Then I read the ticket more carefully; it said, “For parking in the wrong direction”. Wow, I couldn’t believe it. Apparently, the evening before when I had parked near the program at campus, I had pulled up to the parking meter on the wrong side of the street. Since there were no other cars on the street that Friday afternoon during the summer break (no students were on the campus), I didn’t realized that I was on a two-way street headed in the wrong direction. I went into breakfast rather wired having just received a $90 ticket! Ok, so technically it was my fault; according to the absolute letter of the law, I was in the wrong. However, I wasn’t familiar with the town or the roads and after driving for 1 ½ hours through the countryside to get there I was a bit disoriented (I tend towards motion sickness on curvy, windy roads).

Once at breakfast, I tried to calm down and began to figure out my course of action. I could go down to the police station a couple blocks away and plead my case (ignorance, of course). I thought the police would understand if I was nice and explained that I was from out of state, etc. At the program the night before, I had made a new friend who was now helping me think through what to do. In addition, she insisted upon going with me on my mission which fueled my courage, as well as resolve.

As we left the dining hall another woman handed me a retreat brochure, which I tried not to take, already having one, but she insisted. I left with the brochure in hand wondering why she had given it to me. As my new friend and I walked up the street, I went over my “speech” that I would give to the police. We had a bit of trouble finding the address, which gave us more time to be together as well as for me to think about the situation until I said, “Well, the worst that came happen is that I pay the ticket and God sends me another client to help me pay for it”. At that moment, I opened the brochure and stopped in my tracks – since there were 4 $20 bills inside – $80 in cash. I stood there in amazement. No one had ever given me money like that and I didn’t even know the woman who had handed it to me. I told my friend that I couldn’t accept it but she insisted that it was a gift and I had to accept or be rude.

We finally found the police station and it was closed. I wrote a check and put it in the box outside the station placed just for the purpose of taking the envelope with parking payments. The police don’t even bother to open on Saturdays; they just have a box and expect people to pay the tickets that they issue with strict warning that otherwise one’s car could be impounded any time in the future. Not worth the chance.

When I went into the program for the morning session, I found the woman who had “paid it forward” by giving me the money. She told me her story; apparently, she was doing a friend a favor and getting a lot of money for it and felt like she had money to share. As a result, I decided to give her a reading. It wasn’t required, just a gift to her. She was thrilled with what I told her to the extent that she wanted to become a client. If she hadn’t helped me, I wouldn’t have known her and I wouldn’t have helped her. In the end we both benefited and God paid the parking ticket for me after all.

Leave a Comment » | inspirational stories, Law of Abundance, Spirituality, The Law of Attraction | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne

Yellow Power Issues

June 19, 2013

The generally accepted chakra system of energy centers associates a color with each of the seven centers as red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet (ROYGBIB). Thus, the third chakra at the solar plexus is associated with the color yellow. Other characteristics associated with this energy center are being in one’s power, creativity and prosperity when working properly. If the third chakra isn’t functioning properly, the opposite values of these characteristics would prevail – such as not being in one’s power, being stagnant and being in scarcity.

So what does all this mean to us in the everyday world?  Quite often, people are drawn to the color of the energy that they lack or need in order to balance their energy. So, if an individual is lacking in power, or otherwise feel less than or powerless, they could be drawn to wearing yellow. Does it mean that every person we see that’s wearing yellow on a specific day is not in their power? Not necessarily, but it does mean that the color that someone is wearing could possibly be a point of consideration depending on the circumstances.

What is an example of someone wearing yellow indicating a power issue? I recently attended a class and the woman that sat next to me walked in wearing yellow from head to toe. She had on yellow pants, shirt, socks and even her purse was a yellow leather. Wow! I think this woman had more yellow-colored wear on than anyone I had ever seen. Now, like I said before, I didn’t think anything of it just based on this one description, but the plot thickened as the expression goes. When we gave our introductions, she made a very specific point of emphasizing how important her job, her position, her travels, her situation and yes, her life was to the world. I guess I’m exaggerating, but this is how it sure sounded to me. I was very impressed with just our totally impressed she was with herself by the sound of her introduction. It was quite clear how she viewed herself. So why was she wearing yellow? Was it just a happenstance; a coincidence of chosen wardrobe for the day? Let’s take a closer look.

As the day progressed, we had to make decisions about how we would move forward with our learning that we were expected to gain over the two-day training. To my total surprise, when this woman was put to the question, she refused to indicate a willingness to commit to totally moving forward. She disavowed one issue after the next in her life as reasons for why she wasn’t ready to move forward. Really?  I began to realize that when one is truly in their power, they don’t let issues dissuade them from moving forward, at least not conceptually. One stays in a positive space and just deals with issues as the normal challenges of life. She was showing her true state – she wasn’t in her power at all.

The underlying cause of the situation

My theory about wearing yellow when one needs the energy of the color was dead on – she needed the energy of power in any way she could get it. Feeling my energy and that I am in my power, seemed to be a threat to her. Since I read energy on a regular basis, I was quite aware of her reaction. My suspicions were confirmed when she tried to get others to join her creating a clique and dividing the group while getting others to join her energy. This is behavior of someone that is totally not in their power and needs the energy of others to feel secure. I really felt bad for her since she was clueless of how juvenile her behavior appeared to me (I’m not sure about the others involved as I can’t speak for them).

In the end, wearing yellow was most assuredly a sign of a power issue and of not actually being in power.

Leave a Comment » | chakras, Creativity, Inspiration, Spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne

How to Drive Customers Away

May 30, 2012

Anyone who has ever been in a sales, service business or even had client customers knows the importance of “customer service”. So why is it so hard to find quality service when interacting with people representing a company these days? Here are some possible reasons:

People are underpaid. They don’t get paid enough to deal with the issues at hand, so when they get irritated by the already irate customer, this individual hangs up. Nice way to handle the problem, right? Of course, wrong. But it’s happened a lot to me lately. This type of behavior only infuriates me more since I have to call in again only to wait in queue.

People just don’t care. They are underutilized in the job they are in. Perhaps their real profession was a higher skilled one and they are doing customer service merely to pay the bills. Their heart isn’t into it. Another version of this comes from improperly trained people. The result is that the customer gets treated poorly.

People aren’t skilled enough for the job. When I recently bought a new computer, I had to deal with a myriad of technicians who were supposed to know more than I did (should have been really easy with my level of computer savvy) only to find that they couldn’t help me solve the issues at hand. Mind you, it was a brand new computer so it should not have had so many issues. That’s another side of the problem. For now we are looking at the issue of trying to get service. I called and called only to find the person I was talking to had no clue about the particular software problem that the company I had bought it from (third party sale) sent me. I finally had to send the software back and use manual transfer of my data from my old system to the new one after I got hold of one technician who knew what he was doing. I was on-line with this guy from 9:30 pm until 3AM. It took that long to set up a new computer that I was told wouldn’t be a problem. Again, not the real issue here, but a tag along one. Sales over sells and service has to take the ball from there. I guess service is thrown some curve balls, but people should be properly trained. I also want to add that I had paid for upgraded priority service for three years on both hardware and software.

The company’s operational rules and policies are broken. I’ve just completed a 10-year line of credit with one of the huge banking/mortgage firms. After 8 of the 10 years on the program, I decided to actually use it to buy a heating and a/c system rather than take money from my investments due to the large sticker price. After all, the whole idea of the line of credit is so that the payments can be made over time, the interest rate is very low (3.25%) and the interest is tax- deductible as part of my mortgage. That’s the concept anyway. I barely got started with the loan only to find out that I had to pay the full money back within two years since the LOC was ending. Ok, so I had to make large payments which I figured I could do over my bank’s bill pay system. I was surprised to find that these ACH payments were converted to physical checks (part of this company’s policy requirements) and went into the mail. By the time the company actually got my $14,000 payment now in the form of a check, 6 weeks had gone by, I was nearly crazy making phone calls trying to track it down and I learned a lot about where the money could go along the way. I learned much more than I should have ever had to deal with. Every person I worked with gave me a run around until I finally drove over to a local branch and spoke to the branch manager who promptly helped me. After that, I physically went to the branch and made transactions. In this age of automation how bad can a system be that I can’t go online and make payments with full confidence. Just today I tried to resolve an issue with the final balance on this line of credit and again they drove me crazy until after the fourth try I got a woman who resolved my issue right away.

So in the end, if the first person doesn’t help you, hang up and call back. Eventually, you’ll get someone who knows what they are doing, is responsible, and actually cares. There are some good customer service people around. But you have to look hard to find them. Make a list and share it when you do.

 

3 Comments | inspirational stories, manners and behavior, personal development, Spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne

Do You Really Need It?

October 18, 2010

Last night I was watching the Home Shopping Network (HSN) and quickly realized how addicting this program is. The hosts are so very enthusiastic about each product that they instill the fear of “missing out” on a good deal, that’s it’s the deal of alifetime and one that cannot be missed. Of course, they repeat this process for each product, until all of a sudden, one begins to get swept up in the emotion of the situation and begins to believe there is an actual “need” for this item. One surely cannot live without it. They have people call in to indicate how many of this designer’s purses they already have as if to say, I’ve done it, so should you.

If we step back we can see real marketing at work. Show a product and then create the need. How many purses, or whatever do we really need? I’m not discounting that someone may really want a new bag for the season and there may be a deal to be had on this show. However, there are times that I’ve gotten caught up in buying something only to receive it, find it’s really not so wonderful and return it. Thank goodness, HSN also has a great return policy, except for the shipping expense. So no harm done. I’m not slamming HSN. It’s really the midnight shopping phenomenon. It could also be on the internet. There are times when I’m bored with my life and I decide that it’s time to buy myself something and midnight is a convenient time to shop on the internet. That’s the great things about the internet; it’s open 24×7. Any time and any place around the world it’s possible to shop.

Now let’s take a look at what’s behind all this midnight shopping. Is it really looking for a good deal? Let’s put this one possible situation aside, for those that really want to buy something and have carefully thought out the purchase. For the rest of us, there’s an emotional need that hasn’t been satisfied and we use shopping as therapy. It’s even been given a name – “retail therapy”. Wow, the common folk have a psychological term for shopping to satisfy unmet needs and it’s totally accepted. Let’s do some retail therapy is a battle cry of the girls for a Thursday night movie and shopping evening.

Ok, it’s fun. But let’s also assume that they can afford what they buy. How about the woman that already had 24 other purses by this designer? Does anyone need 25 purses? Remember the buzz about Emelda Marcos and her shoes? Well she was really rich.

When I was very much younger I learned to make choices. Fend off the design for the small stuff in order to get the big stuff. I didn’t buy costume jewelry in order to save for real gold. The result is that I own real jewelry that people are always eyeing. It may not always be quite as trendy, but it’s always in good taste since the real thing is timeless. And, when gold hit major highs last year, I sold some of what I didn’t need for real money to pay some bills.  Foregoing a few $200 purses adds up to a major vacation, for example. I took many vacations to foreign lands over the years as a result of my “delayed gratification” program. In the end, I had the opportunity to do what many leave for their later years – travel alot.

Back to HSN – now they make it really easy to buy by offering flex payments. Only pay a bit each month they tell us. Of course we know that so many flex payments add up to debt. And this country is in big trouble from so much debt. Again, foregoing gratification now for later allows us to have the big items, like preparing for retirement. If we don’t start saving when we are young, the money won’t be there when we are old. That’s how it works. I’m so glad that I started to save at 26, putting money away slowly over the years, so that I can have a retirement. So before you buy, ask yourself, “Do you need it?”

2 Comments | Inspiration, Law of Abundance, universal principles | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne

%d bloggers like this: