People and processes don’t always cooperate

August 26, 2019

We all know, or have learned the hard way that human communication is not an exact science. The old adage is that’s why there are lawyers! Today, I’m going to relate a situation that I experienced regarding a transaction on EBay. The whole interaction went from a misunderstanding to bad then to worse. Then it got ugly! Sometimes people and processes just don’t go as one might expect.

 First, let me say that my perspective on EBay is pretty laid back because it’s not my main business; it’s very much a hobby and a casual one at that. I sell stuff to get it out of my closet and if I’m lucky, I get a few dollars for it. So what’s my story? I offered a beautiful designer red silk dress for sale at a fabulously low price plus shipping. The woman in question, whom I will call “The Buyer”, sent an offer. What I saw on my end was “an offer to buy at $50” which I accepted. I’ve been doing EBay for about 8 years so I don’t question offers. I just look at the figure and either accept the bid or not. Usually people pay within a day or two. My listing clearly states that non-payment after 48 hours will result in a cancelled transaction. If someone made a mistake in pushing “buy”, then an email to me indicating such will solve the problem. I’m not out to force any sales, so if there’s a mistake, I’ll cancel the transaction.

I accepted the offer and the EBay system put the offer in as a sale and sent the Buyer an invoice for the price plus shipping. No response. Several days go by. I sent a nice note with a reminder invoice – “is there a problem, I ask?” No response. More time goes by.  The EBay system opened a non-payment case against the Buyer automatically, which when she received the notice made her furious resulting in her sending me a scathing email stating that I hadn’t read her offer. What? I never saw any email or further detail about her offer. Apparently, she writes that she’s retired and doesn’t have the money. (Why buy if you don’t have money??) At this point it was very confusing to me because she referred to 8/30 which I assumed meant August 30, but it was August 20. I had no idea what she was talking about. Rather than calmly explain to me that she’d get money at the end of the month which eventually I realized, she raved at me that I hadn’t read the offer details (that I’d never seen) and basically was saying how stupid I was for causing this problem. As it wasn’t an auction item, just a fixed price, make an offer, she could have waited a few days until her pension check arrived. Rather, she chose to expect me to make the system work according to what was best for her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be.

It became obvious to me that she had anger issues and was venting at me for other situations where she hadn’t been heard. I was just the one getting her venom over these frustrations in her life. I kept trying to write to her calmly explaining that the system was automated, that offers are translated into purchases, and that non-payment cases can be opened without me doing anything. She insisted that I cancel the transaction at this point which was impossible according to the EBay system even after I tried calling them directly. I wasted so much time over almost a week for a non-sale with this woman. I had packed this gorgeous dress with tissue paper in a strong box so that it wouldn’t get wrinkled… basically for naught. After 2 days of her insisting that I cancel the transaction, I find that she paid. It was the night before the payment was due or a negative mark would go against her. I figured that she paid to clear the case so that I could cancel the transaction. So I went into the transaction, which was now clear, and cancelled it. I thought this was what she wanted. She had not sent me an email to tell me that she changed her mind about cancelling the transaction and now she wanted it. So what happened next?

The next morning I got a wailing email, “oh, I’m going to cry. You cancelled the transaction after I paid for the dress!”  Well, yeah, after receiving email after email insisting that I cancel and no communication indicating otherwise, what else could I do? Then I get more communication about why did I do that? It’s like being in Wonderland! Ok, so I thought about it and my final email to her was my best attempt to be spiritual, “I’m sorry that you’re not happy with this transaction. Sometimes people and processes don’t go as one might want or expect. Rather than directing anger at me, a bit of patience might have been a better idea. It would also be a good idea to find a healthier channel to vent your frustrations that to direct them at me”.

The moral of the story is that when crazy interactions occur like this story; take a moment to reflect on the situation. Chances are there’s more going on than the immediate reaction. Usually, there are related experiences that the person is reacting to in this lifetime or a prior one. It’s easy to ignore the person but just a bit harder to consider how you can be a guiding light. Just consider that she needed to be reminded of her behavior and it took me going beyond the physical to tell her about it.

Although I had planned for this to be the end, there’s more. The woman wrote back telling me that “You’re a fool!” Well so much for being a messenger of light. I thought about her response a lot and I truly believe that I was guided to write back to her what I had to give her a chance to reconsider her self-righteous position. Unfortunately, she failed the test. Now the universe takes over and karma steps in. I believe that she’s really in scarcity and has a lot of hatred, anger and hostility built up over being in a compromising financial situation. But what got her there? Meanwhile, I live in abundance and reap the rewards. Comments are always welcome.             


Yellow Power Issues

June 19, 2013

The generally accepted chakra system of energy centers associates a color with each of the seven centers as red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet (ROYGBIB). Thus, the third chakra at the solar plexus is associated with the color yellow. Other characteristics associated with this energy center are being in one’s power, creativity and prosperity when working properly. If the third chakra isn’t functioning properly, the opposite values of these characteristics would prevail – such as not being in one’s power, being stagnant and being in scarcity.

So what does all this mean to us in the everyday world?  Quite often, people are drawn to the color of the energy that they lack or need in order to balance their energy. So, if an individual is lacking in power, or otherwise feel less than or powerless, they could be drawn to wearing yellow. Does it mean that every person we see that’s wearing yellow on a specific day is not in their power? Not necessarily, but it does mean that the color that someone is wearing could possibly be a point of consideration depending on the circumstances.

What is an example of someone wearing yellow indicating a power issue? I recently attended a class and the woman that sat next to me walked in wearing yellow from head to toe. She had on yellow pants, shirt, socks and even her purse was a yellow leather. Wow! I think this woman had more yellow-colored wear on than anyone I had ever seen. Now, like I said before, I didn’t think anything of it just based on this one description, but the plot thickened as the expression goes. When we gave our introductions, she made a very specific point of emphasizing how important her job, her position, her travels, her situation and yes, her life was to the world. I guess I’m exaggerating, but this is how it sure sounded to me. I was very impressed with just our totally impressed she was with herself by the sound of her introduction. It was quite clear how she viewed herself. So why was she wearing yellow? Was it just a happenstance; a coincidence of chosen wardrobe for the day? Let’s take a closer look.

As the day progressed, we had to make decisions about how we would move forward with our learning that we were expected to gain over the two-day training. To my total surprise, when this woman was put to the question, she refused to indicate a willingness to commit to totally moving forward. She disavowed one issue after the next in her life as reasons for why she wasn’t ready to move forward. Really?  I began to realize that when one is truly in their power, they don’t let issues dissuade them from moving forward, at least not conceptually. One stays in a positive space and just deals with issues as the normal challenges of life. She was showing her true state – she wasn’t in her power at all.

The underlying cause of the situation

My theory about wearing yellow when one needs the energy of the color was dead on – she needed the energy of power in any way she could get it. Feeling my energy and that I am in my power, seemed to be a threat to her. Since I read energy on a regular basis, I was quite aware of her reaction. My suspicions were confirmed when she tried to get others to join her creating a clique and dividing the group while getting others to join her energy. This is behavior of someone that is totally not in their power and needs the energy of others to feel secure. I really felt bad for her since she was clueless of how juvenile her behavior appeared to me (I’m not sure about the others involved as I can’t speak for them).

In the end, wearing yellow was most assuredly a sign of a power issue and of not actually being in power.


Are You Planning for Death or for Life?

June 6, 2010

Most of us live our lives day-by-day planning what will happen. We plan to get a job, work, earn a living in order to buy material things that supposedly bring happiness, only to find that in the end, we all die. It seems so futile. Should we live our lives only to plan our death? Or should we live our lives, knowing that we will eventually die and continue living?

I have a friend whose boss worked way into his 60’s thinking that he’d make more money figuring that he and his wife could enjoy a nicer retirement. This manager reached high levels in his government organization, was well-respected and was always exceptionally dressed. Unfortunately, after returning home from one work day he simply dropped dead. No one really knows what happened. He seemed fine, and then he was gone. But let’s take a closer look. He had lots of friends, but precious little time to enjoy them, or his wife for that matter. There are no guarantees on how much life we all get. The old adage that no one wants an epitaph, “He worked so hard at his job” or nearing death to say, “I wished I had spent more time at the office.”

This incident had a profound impact on my friend and convinced him to reconsider his own choice of when to retire. You see, he had been putting off his own retirement for similar reasons. His ego was wrapped up in what he did by day, and he felt it would be difficult to give up that status. Not only did he find it difficult to give up his position, he spent more time planning his death than he did planning his life. Wow! He had all the arrangements for his funeral figured out, written down and conveyed to close friends. The cemetery lot was purchased – alongside his parents with another space reserved for his sister (where would her husband and family be laid, I wondered?) He even had the music decided. It was so clear to me that his energy was focused on “death” and not “life”. Is it easier to just keep working than to slow down and get in touch with one’s inner self? Without the constant demands of a day job, often people don’t know how to define themselves and merely check-out of life.

But if they only appreciated that we need to understand the game plan better. It doesn’t matter if one is a project manager, a systems integrator, a secretary or a fireman. Each position comes with both status and trials. Every event and situation gives us a learning opportunity as we navigate through the twists and turns of this lifetime.

Work, work, workLife is more than work, and once we know our true mission, it gives us a sense of self and a peace as we move through life. The objective is to slow down and listen to self. Then and only then, can we learn our lessons – no matter what we are doing – whether working a traditional job or “retired”, to put forth the effort to “listen” to that still small voice inside guiding us daily. The signs are always there, it’s just a question of whether we are paying attention. Focusing on life means that we are paying attention and not just moving forward one step at a time until death.

For information on Joanne’s forthcoming inspirational memoir, The Circle of Life – A Journey Through Grief to Understanding – which chronicles the clairaudient messages from her father to console her widowed mother and captures her first year of bereavement to understand there was more to live for as the messages foretold – see www.josanpress.com.

JOANNE AARONSON, a former project management professional, is an ordained minister & intuitive life coach bridging corporate and spiritual worlds through her company, Life Transformations, LLC. She fosters use of one’s inner light, known as intuition to help person’s achieve their highest potential. In addition, Joanne publishes the monthly EmpowerChangeNow Newsletter to encourage creativity and intuitive development as well as writes the more spiritual Joanne’s StarTeacher blog. Contact Joanne at life_transformations@verizon.net or joanne@josanpress.com See: www.empowerchangenow.com


Does the Law of Abundance Really Work?

March 1, 2010

What is the Law of Abundance? Does it really work if we apply it in our lives?

The Law of Abundance states that what we give out comes back to us multiplied (much like the Law of Attraction) but it refers to how we deal with money, our time, helping others, tips, – in short ” our finances” whether material, physical, emotional, or spiritual in nature.

For example, if we walk around with a torn wallet, we are sending a message to the universe that we don’t honor ourselves enough to buy a new wallet. “We’re not worth it” or “we can’t afford it”, or “We don’t want to spend the money on ourselves”. No matter how you slice it, it’s not a good idea to carry around a wallet that’s really tattered.

Another example is if we worry about our bills all the time. We are sending a message out that we don’t have enough money, we stress about it and that’s what we get back – more stress and more bills and more stress and more bills.

Perhaps someone asks you to help them at work, wants to borrow a chair at work when you have two or a friend needs to talk… and you don’t have time…

The above examples are called being in Scarcity – the opposite of Abundance. Being in Abundance is believing that you have enough, trusting that the universe is limitedless and that you will be provided for one way or another.

How does this work in practice? Let’s say you’re on a budget for whatever reason and you want to exhibit Abundance – send a donation to a charity anyway. Even a small one. It shows that you get the concept of Abundance – that of sharing what little you have. Help others, put yourself out there, for when the time comes, you may need the help back.

The same goes for tips. There are some things that I feel I need even when times are tough and that’s getting my nails done. I can go longer on hair cuts, but not my nails. However, my nail lady offers to fore go her tip knowing that I’m on the short side. But I won’t have it. I tell her, “Michelle, for you, I always have money”. She does a wonderful job. She cares and I care back. It’s one of those relationships that’s a joy in my life – she makes me feel blessed.

If you follow the Law of Abundance, what can you expect?

We had terrible snows here in the Northern Virginia area and my lower level had considerable damage forcing me to make an insurance claim. Fortunately, I’m covered except for my deductible. Because I’m in the universal flow, am in Abundance, the universe responded to my need. The same week, a client turned up without my doing anything and bought coaching hours, and an unexpected check came in the mail. The total? Exactly enough to cover the insurance deductible! That’s the Law of Abundance at work.

The universe has a way of letting us know when we are doing the right thing at the right time and for the right reason – we get feedback – if we pay attention to our messages. Comments are always welcome.


Abundance is about not being in scarcity

October 29, 2009

What is the Law of Abundance? What we give out comes back to us multiplied.

How do we attract abundance? We all want stuff in our lives – friends, support, guidance as well as financial security. The way to attract what we need is to give it out first – something like what I’ve heard called “pay it forward”. Doing it first sets the stage for us to attract it back.

What is scarcity? When we worry about our finances and pinch pennies more than necessary, don’t help others in need, walk around with a torn wallet because we don’t want to replace it then we are essentially in “scarcity mode”. This is definitely negative energy.

Here’s an example of being in abundance and the universe returning the energy of unlimitlessness back to us…. last night I went to a women’s social network group in order to expand my circle of friends. I met a woman who had major stuff going on – a husband that left her on their 25th anniversary and lots of pain in her body. To me, she deserved some help so I offered a free intuitive life coaching session in the hope that I could discover where some of her negative energy was coming from. What was the negative pattern she was holding and how could I help her overcome it? My selfless offer was repaid rather quickly.

This morning I was researching publishing options for my forthcoming book, The Circle of Life-A Journey Through Grief to Understanding. I came upon another author who had used the editor I’m considering and he was most generous with his time in not only giving the editor a referral but in providing his publishing experience and contacts. My abundance came back to me multiplied. He even offered to host a book signing. Wow! He didn’t even know me.


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