There
is so much in the news lately about planning for retirement. We have at least
40 years to start putting some money away to take care of ourselves when we get
older. Yes but you say, what about the current house, kids and bills? There
just isn’t anything leftover. Well I disagree. I see how people spend their
money. The kids have to have candy and soda at the movies or the parents have
to have the next version of the iPad, cellphone or tablet. Perhaps it’s the
necessity of eating lunch hour or going to Starbucks…
Yes you can enjoy your life when you’re young but one must pay the piper when
they are finished playing as the saying goes. Whether its small change or dollars
saved, there are ways to do it. Something has to be given up in order to have
something later. Sorry but one cannot have their cake and eat it too. Why is it
the government’s responsibility to provide for all that a person can’t pay for?
I’m not talking about those truly in need. I give plenty to charity and believe
in helping those less fortunate. I’m talking t people that get caught up in
living the good life and then wonder why they are still working at 72 because
they can’t retire….as they don’t have enough money to live on.
Let’s break this down. Daily Starbucks is $25 A week just for the world week.
Then lunch is another $50 if it’s kept simple. What’s wrong with fixing a
teabag in the office or a cup of coffee? And there are a ton of options to save
money lunchtime from prepared meals from the store to actually making something
or even just sandwiches from home. If one adds up 40 years of teabags and
lunches from home we have lots of money. Ok not enough? Vacations once a year
versus every holiday.. staycations can be fun too. An event locally can be fun
and usually a lot less expensive than a quick trip to the Caribbean over four day break. An exaggeration? Perhaps, but
I know people like this…
I might be the exception but I took my lunch to work most days, ate a nice
salad at the salad bar otherwise, was careful about electronic consumerism and
was moderate about vacations. I paid extra on my mortgage to pay it off by retirement
and saved yearly. I can now reap the benefits of the savings that I slowly put
away year after year. In other words, I’m living the American dream. I worked
my 40 years in a normal corporate job, saved my money and now can pay my bills
and do a fair amount of travelling. I feel blessed that I have the money for
doctor bills, household expenses and a trip here and there. Being in abundance
by giving to charity means that God lets me keep the rest.
In summary, personal accountability is the way to go; slow and steady for 40
years not trying to screw the system in the last few years to make up for what
you did or didn’t do all along. We pay into social security and Medicare so
these are earned benefits not optional entitlements. That’s my version of the
story and I’m sticking with it! Comments are always welcome.
We all know, or have learned the hard way that human
communication is not an exact science. The old adage is that’s why there are
lawyers! Today, I’m going to relate a situation that I experienced regarding a
transaction on EBay. The whole interaction went from a misunderstanding to bad
then to worse. Then it got ugly! Sometimes people and processes just don’t go
as one might expect.
First, let me say
that my perspective on EBay is pretty laid back because it’s not my main
business; it’s very much a hobby and a casual one at that. I sell stuff to get
it out of my closet and if I’m lucky, I get a few dollars for it. So what’s my
story? I offered a beautiful designer red silk dress for sale at a fabulously
low price plus shipping. The woman in question, whom I will call “The Buyer”,
sent an offer. What I saw on my end was “an offer to buy at $50” which I
accepted. I’ve been doing EBay for about 8 years so I don’t question offers. I
just look at the figure and either accept the bid or not. Usually people pay
within a day or two. My listing clearly states that non-payment after 48 hours
will result in a cancelled transaction. If someone made a mistake in pushing “buy”,
then an email to me indicating such will solve the problem. I’m not out to
force any sales, so if there’s a mistake, I’ll cancel the transaction.
I accepted the offer and the EBay system put the offer in as
a sale and sent the Buyer an invoice for the price plus shipping. No response.
Several days go by. I sent a nice note with a reminder invoice – “is there a
problem, I ask?” No response. More time goes by. The EBay system opened a non-payment case
against the Buyer automatically, which when she received the notice made her
furious resulting in her sending me a scathing email stating that I hadn’t read
her offer. What? I never saw any email or further detail about her offer.
Apparently, she writes that she’s retired and doesn’t have the money. (Why buy
if you don’t have money??) At this point it was very confusing to me because
she referred to 8/30 which I assumed meant August 30, but it was August 20. I
had no idea what she was talking about. Rather than calmly explain to me that
she’d get money at the end of the month which eventually I realized, she raved
at me that I hadn’t read the offer details (that I’d never seen) and basically
was saying how stupid I was for causing this problem. As it wasn’t an auction
item, just a fixed price, make an offer, she could have waited a few days until
her pension check arrived. Rather, she chose to expect me to make the system
work according to what was best for her. Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be.
It became obvious to me that she had anger issues and was venting at me for other situations where she hadn’t been heard. I was just the one getting her venom over these frustrations in her life. I kept trying to write to her calmly explaining that the system was automated, that offers are translated into purchases, and that non-payment cases can be opened without me doing anything. She insisted that I cancel the transaction at this point which was impossible according to the EBay system even after I tried calling them directly. I wasted so much time over almost a week for a non-sale with this woman. I had packed this gorgeous dress with tissue paper in a strong box so that it wouldn’t get wrinkled… basically for naught. After 2 days of her insisting that I cancel the transaction, I find that she paid. It was the night before the payment was due or a negative mark would go against her. I figured that she paid to clear the case so that I could cancel the transaction. So I went into the transaction, which was now clear, and cancelled it. I thought this was what she wanted. She had not sent me an email to tell me that she changed her mind about cancelling the transaction and now she wanted it. So what happened next?
The next morning I got a wailing email, “oh, I’m going to
cry. You cancelled the transaction after I paid for the dress!” Well, yeah, after receiving email after email
insisting that I cancel and no communication indicating otherwise, what else
could I do? Then I get more communication about why did I do that? It’s like
being in Wonderland! Ok, so I thought about it and my final email to her was my
best attempt to be spiritual, “I’m sorry that you’re not happy with this
transaction. Sometimes people and processes don’t go as one might want or expect.
Rather than directing anger at me, a bit of patience might have been a better
idea. It would also be a good idea to find a healthier channel to vent your
frustrations that to direct them at me”.
The moral of the story is that when crazy interactions occur
like this story; take a moment to reflect on the situation. Chances are there’s
more going on than the immediate reaction. Usually, there are related
experiences that the person is reacting to in this lifetime or a prior one. It’s
easy to ignore the person but just a bit harder to consider how you can be a
guiding light. Just consider that she needed to be reminded of her behavior and
it took me going beyond the physical to tell her about it.
Although I had planned for this to be the end, there’s more.
The woman wrote back telling me that “You’re a fool!” Well so much for being a
messenger of light. I thought about her response a lot and I truly believe that
I was guided to write back to her what I had to give her a chance to reconsider
her self-righteous position. Unfortunately, she failed the test. Now the
universe takes over and karma steps in. I believe that she’s really in scarcity
and has a lot of hatred, anger and hostility built up over being in a
compromising financial situation. But what got her there? Meanwhile, I live in
abundance and reap the rewards.
Comments are always welcome.
Do you
have a dog or a cat? If you’re a pet owner and your fur baby needed help, whether
special care or a visit to the vet, would you go out of your way to make sure
they got what they needed? If you have a child, to what extent would you go
through to help your child? The subject of this article is to treat yourself as
good as you would treat your child or fur baby. In otherworld’s, it’s time to
adopt yourself!
There are people that take such good
care of their pets that they’re like children, my guy Skylar is a case in
point. He’s in renal failure and needs a lot of daily treatments as well as
medications. I’ve had people tell me they’d like me to adopt them! Skylar gets
all kinds of vitamins and really good food. He likes his water bubbly and fresh
and he loves his greenies that clean his teeth. I’ve even started to use a
liquid that cleans his gums to help with gingivitis. Skylar especially likes me
to kiss his head and purrs when i tell him Mommy loves him. Sometimes it’s hard
for me to do all these things for myself!
Do you make sure that you eat
properly, have clean water to drink and get exercise? To what extent will you
go to make sure you leave space in your life for friends and love in your life?
I’ve asked one of my close friends who runs around for mothers doing for them,
helping with their lives, with her own children yet rushing to get her hair or
nails done. Sometimes I feel that I have to remind her to take time for
herself…real time. She does goes to her yoga class but there is very little
down time… then she gets headaches; it’s no wonder with the pace of her life
and what she squeezes in.
Everyone gets the same 24 hours.
How you divide it is up to you. Allowing some time for others is great but
leave time for yourself. Love yourself enough to do for you as you do for
others. Adopt yourself!
We
take so many things for granted. Sometimes even the simplest things in life can
be really fun. This is an article about how we can miss the simple things in
our quest for the Holy Grail – that is, for the big things we think are more
important.
On my recent trip to
Brussels, Belgium I had the opportunity to ride the train to Ghent. For the
locals, taking a train is no big deal. For me, each step of the journey was a jigsaw
puzzle requiring a complex analysis to figure out and once completed, a sense
of accomplished was attained. Anyone looking at me must have been amazed at how
much joy I was getting out of successfully procuring my 18 Euro roundtrip
ticket to Ghent and then actually finding the right train track, correct car,
and then a seat. Each piece of the puzzle coming together to accomplish the
first task – get on the train! I sat there so pleased with myself! Others must
have wondered why I was smiling to myself. I was so happy to just be able to
figure that much out.
Honestly,
it’s really not that complicated; it’s just when it’s a different country and
you have no idea where a place is, the concept of first or second class seat in
a special car and many trains travelling on a single track the whole thing
becomes more complex. Where I live in Washington, DC there are rarely more than
one train travelling on the track at a time. And if there is, I find it
difficult to tell which train is arriving. Now multiply this by very many trains
going to ever so many places all on each track and going in either direction,
one must decide, and quite quickly I might add to jump on the train. Trains are
on time and everything moves very quickly. One cannot stare at the trains and
wonder too long. People are jumping on with or without luggage, and it’s
important to get on and find a seat; unless it’s a reserved spot. Whew! So,
again, I was quite pleased with myself.
I
had briefly checked out spots to investigate once in Ghent. I was in Brussels
for the Tango Festival and had completed the 5 days of the program having
danced my legs off. I was sufficiently tired and could hardly get up the
morning of my trip to Ghent, yet, I was determined to ride the train! Ghent was
a good destination, being less than an hour and easy to maneuver, or so I was
told. However, when one is on foot, getting around can be a project.
Then
there was the issue of which station to disembark. One of the websites
indicated one station while fellow travelers informed me that no, in fact it
was better to get off at a different station. So I complied with the advice.
After disembarking at the station, the next piece of the puzzle was to get to
the downtown or centreville. There were many trams running on tracks to take
people here and there. I had no idea which was the one I should take and. I
became a bit panicky until one of the attendants indicated that I could buy an
all-day tram pass inside the station. I was really having trouble buying the
tram ticket from the machine outside. There might be a button to push to get
English, but I had no idea of how to get there. Even for a bit more money it
was worth it to me to get the all-day pass so that I’d know that I could get on
the tram to get back to the station. It was only 7 Euros, so not a lot of
money.
Once
back inside the station I waiting in the line to buy the all-day tram pass and
with a bit of explaining was successful in procuring it. Yeah, step two
completed! Then I went outside once again and looked for Tram No. 1 that would
take me into town. Now I had to make sure I was going in the right direction. The
Tram was packed with people on this unusually warm Tuesday afternoon in June as
I watched the landscape change from the station through winding streets to the
centreville. Just that little trip was a bit of a sightseeing experience. It
all was a wonder to me.
Upon
arrival in the actual center of Ghent, I disembarked and realized that the main
sights I had in mind to see where nearby. I headed towards the canal and walked
along as many tourists were doing. I really felt like I was in Disneyland
except this was a real place. The United States is only a couple hundred years
old but this area of Europe dates back many centuries; this charming town had
cathedrals, churches, and other types of buildings dating back to the 15th
century. It was definitely a walk back in time. I loved it all! What a joyous
day, totally alone with no one to talk to but happy within myself.
Once
I understood how the streets followed the canal I felt safe that I wouldn’t get
lost and began to wander around looking at this place or that for several
hours. Of particular note was the Castle, called Gravenstein of which I took
the audio tour. Whoever wrote the script was a real comedian and listening to the
voice describing stories of the goings on in the castle during its history made
me laugh. I must have been a sight myself walking around laughing to myself.
One fun story credited this Castle as having the first fireplace.
When
I got tired, I found my way back along the canal, like Goldilocks with her
breadcrumbs, took the Tram No. 1 in the opposite direction to return to the
station. Within minutes the train came to Brussels. The train system in Belgium
is amazingly efficient and very fast! I never waited more than a few minutes
for a metro or train even on Sunday.
I
arrived back at my hotel about 9pm very tired and ate a salad that I’d put away
in the room frig happy that I didn’t have to find some place to eat. Sometimes
it’s just nice to go into the kitchen and get something to eat and not have to
go out. As this was a hotel, the next best thing was to keep food in the frig
for one of my meals.
All
in all, I’d had a very good day filled with simple activities, yet quite
satisfying. I appreciated not getting lost, all the people along the way that
had said a word or two of guidance, and especially those that could speak
English! Sometimes the best things are very simple! As always, comments are
welcome.
There is an old adage of how we look at life” do you see the glass as half empty or half full?” This is a common theme that plays out time and time again when looking at situations. How one sees things is always in the mind of the beholder.
Recently, I sent a photo to two friends while visiting family out in California of Palm trees with a mountain background taken during my early morning walk. The caption to my one friend was simply a good morning to her. I received a reply that the photo looked serene and peaceful. In other words, she had a positive response to an image that was pleasantly received. As my other friend lives in a northern climate still experiencing chilly weather, I captioned the photo that I was sending sunshine. His response involved questioning the temperature to which I told him over 100F… “an oven” was his response… he knows that I totally enjoy my morning walks in the sunshine because I don’t do it at home. Yes it’s a bit warm even at 7 am, but it’s so beautiful looking at the mountains and the Palm trees that it’s my favorite thing to do while out west. We don’t have Palm trees in Virginia.
So where are we in this story? My
first friend is a positive person about most things so it’s not so surprising
that she’d have a positive response to the photo I sent. She takes life well
and I enjoy being with her. She holds down an important management consulting
position and juggles being a Mom to two young adult boys. She’s a genuinely
nice person.
My other friend tries to be a nice person too but he gets lost in the negativity of the world. As a result he sees the negative in little things that people do or say and in this case, he missed the beauty of the moment or the kindness of the act by over analyzing the situation. I still like him for he has some lovely qualities, but he struggles to get through life. Such a small thing like looking at a photo and deciding what you will see. But that’s the point.
It’s a decision how we will
interpret what comes into our mind. So will you see the glass as half empty or
half full next time? Try to catch yourself if you start to be negative. With
practise we can move into being more positive people and in the process we will
be happier too. Comments are always welcome.
It’s a beautiful spring day. The trees are blooming and look
refreshing and new. It’s warming a bit so that it’s not so cold as before. It
would be nice to talk a walk out in the sunshine.
I choose to think positive thoughts; to read my book on the fascinating history of the Templars in Portugal; to help others by mentoring and to do other volunteer efforts which bring me joy. I started assisting my university alumni with offers of mentoring and immediately had a taker… the very next day. It was a pleasure to help this woman assess her current career situation and how to move forward according to her desired plan. These are all pro bono sessions but they provide me a venue for giving back and that brings me joy.
An old project management colleague
contacted me to be interviewed for an article that he was writing and I was
glad to assist. The piece was on the value and impact of various certifications
and as I have several very unusual ones, he chose me to be included. It was fun
to participate and wonderful to receive a digital copy of the finished product
several weeks later. More joy came to me in helping him.
Those that chose to stay in a negative place will be left behind. I can only help so much for it drains me if there is nothing ever coming back, nor appreciation; just chaos left in the ashes of my attempts to be of service. Thus, to those that are negative energy I say that I must detach from you all. It’s just too oppressive.
For there to be a friendship, it must be a two way street. The
same holds true for a relationship. Both parties must acknowledge their
participation otherwise, there is nothing? It’s all just a fantasy. I care about all the issues that other people
have but no one wants to listen to me or care about what is going on in my
life. Am I too independent? Too willing to take on the world? At some point, I have
to say that it’s enough and I’m going to stop being the world’s baby sitter, or
mother or care taker. I have to look out for myself and have proper boundaries.
So if your mood darkens and you refuse the light that I
offer, so be it. I can do no more. I will not be your psychologist to figure
out what’s going on with you. Only you can decide you want to figure all that
out and then it’s part of your soul’s journey to take the road ahead.
So here is where we part company. I choose to take the high
road, be positive and follow my path to be of service. My goal is to help souls
one by one to be all they can be in order to raise the vibration of the planet.
But each soul must move forward in his/her own way and in their own time.
It’s your decision now. What will it be? Will you stay behind in the darkness or come with me into the light? Comments are welcome.
Have you ever wondered about the nature of a relationship
that’s not going so well? Perhaps there is arguing, conflict, constant
negotiations or other types of negative interactions. Most relationships are
with and between adults, but they can also be with children. There is another
category of people who never matured into a fully functioning adult and remain
very childlike, perhaps even referring to themselves as having arrested
development whether in jest or not. As I’ve
been told by my psychology-oriented friend, this type of individual most likely
wasn’t properly nurtured during the prime young years and as a result, missed
out on a type of personal validation that’s required to develop a healthy sense
of self; thus, the impact is that they never really grow up. In other words, an
individual who didn’t have a mother or father really present in their life
(perhaps physically but not emotionally for lots of reasons) can remain in an
immature or childlike state. The dynamic
is more complicated than I’m presenting but is simplified for discussion. There
are many people who do grow up to be quite well adjusted even without childhood
nurturing, myself being one of them. I simply recognized where love was missing
and did a lot of inner child work. However, I’m not the norm.
Entanglement
Don’t get me wrong.
My parents did love me, but they came from an era where kids were seen and not
heard, my opinion wasn’t valued, I was greatly criticized, and never made to
feel important unless I was achieving. Ah ha! And as a result, one learns to be
an A type personality to overachieve in order to please one’s parents. But now,
I’m getting into a slightly different dynamic. Here, the individual is taking
on very adult qualities and perhaps way too much responsibility. Possibly, it’s
the two ends of a spectrum of not getting one’s needs met as a child.
So as far as this discussion is concerned, we can refer to
individuals who never really attain a proper sense of self, a man-child or
woman-child. They appear in an adult body but when provoked they revert to
temper tantrums and outbursts just like a child. If you are unlucky enough to
interact with one of these immature people, you may find that you are in an
entanglement full of chaos rather than a more normal type of relationship.
Since I believe that everyone comes into our life for a
reason, what types of lessons can one learn from interactions from a man-child
for example? As I’m a woman, I’ve had the experience of dealing with a
man-child. In fact, I actually felt like I was caring for my child. As I noted
above, taking on too much responsibility and not wanting to take on any are
polar opposites and attract. Could it be that my life lesson was to learn not
to be so very responsible for everyone else by the universe giving me someone
who would simply take and take and it would never be enough? He was an empty
well that could never be filled with enough love because he felt that he wasn’t
good enough to be loved (never forming a positive sense of self-worth as a
child). No matter what I tried to do to help this person in terms of working on
a resume for him to get a new job; showing him how to earn money with odd jobs
by actually going to the job site and waiting for him while he working on a
friend’s electrical that I set up for him or any of the other caring acts I did.
I felt like a soccer Mom waiting for her child to play the game. I sat for
hours so that this guy could make some money so that he’d feel better about
himself. I also went through the motions of caring for him in other ways by
feeding him meals, giving him t-shirts, socks or other articles of clothing
when he needed them and helping him buy presents for his family because
navigating a huge store like Target was too overwhelming. I’ve never had kids
but really felt like I had one during my “entanglement” with this guy.
Eventually, he left town and I felt like I was losing my child.
Of course, I had to have a serious talk with myself about
why I felt that way and where it was coming from. After considerable reflection
I realized the lesson in it for me. It was about learning unconditional love
and being the divine feminine. Being my polar opposite, he opposed me in many
ways. To do what I did for him, even though it caused me great consternation
many times, was an act of pure love, unlike any that I had known before. He
taught me a lot in our months together and for that I’m grateful. I know that
our soul contract is now complete and I’ve done all I can for him, now
recognizing that it’s time to let go and allow him to survive on his own. Much
like a parent allows her child to be a teenager then grow up; of course, this
may be impossible for him at this point in his life.
It was an entanglement, not a relationship of equals. Now I
can stand back and see it for what it is. I have the power of analysis and so
am sharing it to help others understand their lessons if they find themselves
in an entanglement. There are many types of entanglements, but if one looks
deep the answer to why it’s happening will appear.
Have you ever been in bed and had ideas pop into your head?
Perhaps it’s the list of what to do that day or a shopping list of activities
that need to be done over time. Well, for me, I had an idea – that was almost
totally conceptualized creep into my waking moments around the early part of
this month and just wouldn’t let go. For days I had the same thoughts that I
should create a non-profit community group aimed at making the world a better
place using the energy of tango dancers. Ok, so why tango dancers? My two
passions are helping to make the world a better place – or more esoterically
put, raising the vibration of the planet; the other is dancing tango. The
creative idea that hatched in my head used both these thoughts – tango dancing
and bringing light to the world. No small task; or what many have told me when
I started to talk about it, “good luck with that!”
In terms of creating a community action group, I was totally
in unfamiliar territory. I seriously had no clue where to start, so I began
where I always do when I don’t know – I decided to ask other people who might
know. So just like any other creative project that I’ve tackled over the years,
I decided to do information interviews with key influencers, who could
eventually become stakeholders in this new venue. I selected friends, tango
dance friends, friends of tango dance friends, people that tango dance friends
knew, and so on. It wasn’t long before I had lots of people to interview and
plenty of, “good luck with that” answers as well as a few good pointers along
the way. I knew I would have my hands full with this activity, if it was even really
viable.
After about a week of
these interviews, I went to a tango dance wherein I realized that just the next
week, this particular organizer was holding an anniversary dance. I quickly
decided to hold a first fundraising asking permission to use their venue with
the caveat that it wouldn’t impact their collected fees. The organizer owned the space and was all
about helping charity especially if it didn’t cost them anything.
The next day I set up a Facebook page for my new group which
I named, Tango for Change. Within hours one
of my dance friends put a donate button on my personal page (not the new page),
OH MY NOW WHAT?? So I had to figure out what to do. When you’re new at
something, often times it doesn’t go smoothly the first time you go at it.
Alright, I just went along with it and “SHARED” the fundraiser which had been
created on my personal page to the Tango for Change page. This was a bit
awkward but it was sufficient to have a few people donate. I had to work at it
but by the end of the week, the initial modest goal of $200 was raised.
That night, the actual date of the fundraiser, I simply put out a decorated spaghetti keeper with a ribbon indicating the charity (a homeless shelter in the area) and with my encouragement around the room, another $83 was raised. Wow, it was hard work, but in less than 2 weeks the idea was hatched, created and implemented (with $283 going to my first charity). More on my new group as it progresses, but other than being exhausted from being emotionally trained, I’m pretty happy with the result. Now to keep the momentum going! (Of course, what you give out you get back multiplied!) So PLEASE like my new Tango for Change Facebook page to show support!!!
When you remember someone that has passed, are there funny
sayings or mannerisms that come to mind? In the case of my father, I always
remember what he used to say when I asked him about his getting another year
older and his practical response, “every day above ground is a good day”. So
each year when I’d ask him, “Daddy, how does it feel to be 85, or 86, etc.?” “He’d
reply, every year above ground is a good year”. Even though I knew what the
response would be, I continued to ask him every year until there wasn’t a
response. He passed the day after his 90th birthday and he wasn’t
able to talk on his special day.
What is the
alternative? If one is not above ground, then obviously, one is not alive. But to
live, really live means to be more than just above ground and room temperature.
This is the lesson for this article. Sometimes I feel like life is moving so
fast that there isn’t time to do more than just keep up. When I thought about
all the things I had to do today and realized that I was tired, I decided to
just take a nap. Once I woke up I realized that none of the really important
things that I had on my list were important at all. If none of them got done,
it was really ok. In the overall scheme of the universe, none of it was
important.
So what is important? When we are above ground, during our
living years as the song goes, we should aim to make each day count, but for
what? What’s really important? Some possible answers are to be a good person,
to love, to help others, and to learn our lessons. Now you might ask how one
knows what their lessons are? I’ve written many articles about life lessons so
it’s not an easy answer here except to say that we have to pay attention to
what happens in our lives and do our best to follow the path that’s best for
us. Sometimes what’s best is not what we really wish to do. When I think about
my father, he was always busy with hobbies and studying things. He valued
education and taught us to do the same. He also valued hard work, probably a
product of his depression-era younger years; although still a good foundation
for him and a good legacy he gave to his children.
We each have to figure out how to use the time we have above
ground and make sure that every day above ground is a good day.
During my recent trip to Portugal I had several experiences where I felt that synchronicity was at play to the extent that it must be my angels at work helping me. The story I’m going to relate in this article is that of my day trip to the historic town of Sintra, where just when I needed help, it was available to me.
After several attempts to take a group tour on this particular Saturday during my vacation failed, I decided to go it alone. Armed with travel brochures, internet information on the key sights, and information of what not to miss, I left my hotel about 8:30 am with a very positive outlook. I had already mastered the metro system to the point of knowing where the nearest stop was and where to get off, but I didn’t know how to find the connecting train station for the out of town trip to Sintra. Buying the ticket was easy at the ticket booth which was manned with a live person, asking in English is a forte of mine as I don’t speak Portuguese.
The next step was to get off the metro and find the train station. I started to inquire of my fellow metro passengers who either didn’t understand me or didn’t know. This was strange to me since it was with in a short walk of the metro stop. Everything is different when one is in another country and not familiar. On the third try I happened upon a family with an elderly gentleman who seemed to be the local resident and the others, the visitors. In asking this group about the location of the train station, I discovered they were from Poland. I chimed in that my heritage is Polish as my Mother’s father came from Poland in the early 1900s, a town called Silencia. To my surprise, I was told that they came from this same place. I was asking for help from people of my heritage land! As we got off the metro, the elderly gentleman, most likely their father, speaking no English but made to understand my goal from his relatives, pointed the way to the train station. Yes! Mission accomplished!
Having my ticket in hand I quickly found my train on the track already arrived. I barely made it into a seat before the train left so my timing was quite good. As I settled in the seat I had found after searching for one up and down several cars, I noticed French spoken near me.
In my usual brilliant way, I asked the young woman closest to me “are you from France?” She replied, “yes, we are from Lyon”, referring to the 3 couples in her group. This brief introduction began a conversation about our day in Sintra and planned itineraries. After hearing about the place I wanted to see they changed their plan and decided to join me. I was thrilled. We all got off the train together and for the next 6 hours became a new unit, wherein I was treated like one of them… something like being an adopted Mom. The young woman had left her 8 month old baby at home for this weekend away with her Mom so perhaps she was in a very nurturing mode.
It turned into a wonderful day for me, where at first I thought I’d be alone I was accompanied by a nice group of friendly people all day while touring interesting sights. We even stopped and had tea together. It was a very warm feeling to chat and interact with these young people for the day. About 3pm we parted company as our desires changed… with me wanting to view the inside of the Pena Palace and their only wanting to see the outside gardens.. We said goodbye with invitations from the young woman to visit Lyon.
About an hour later I walked down the hill, took the bus back to the train station, then the train to the metro and as I was coming up the stairs from the metro station I looked up in amazement… could my eyes be deceiving me? There was the same group of French people looking just as amazed! I knew then that I had been experiencing a divinely inspired day complete with angels on my shoulder to look out for me. How else could I have met the same group back in Lisbon?
Although I had a two week vacation on my own and did some organized tours during that time, some of my best moments were when I just trusted that I’d be ok on my own and went out into the great unknown. It was when I was in the hands of my guides, that I was truly guided.
Inspirational memoir capturing a love that extends beyond the veil of death, of care-giving, of the ravages of Alzheimer's Disease as well as a widow's restructuring her life after the only man she ever loved was gone. Buy safely via PayPal