Everyone has a birth and an expiration date. Even though it’s not pleasant to think about the later date for the most part, in some cases, it’s best to plan. In my case, I don’t have family, so I want to take the guess work out of my final arrangements for the executor of my “estate”. My net worth won’t be in the category of Bill Gates, but it is still called an “estate”. Hence, I went out to take care of my funeral arrangements. This hit home to me after making similar arrangements for my mother’s final resting place last year. Doing so brought home my own mortality. I also realized how expensive an actual burial can be and will certainly be more expensive in the future. When a friend told me how he pre-planned his funeral and had also paid for it a long time ago, I decided to do the same.
If someone just wants to be cremated and their ashes thrown about, the problem is much simpler. At one point I felt this way until I studied about the Jewish perspective on the soul while investigating burials for my mother. Then I realized that I might not care, but my soul might feel differently about it. I changed my will from cremation to burial. At this point, several years ago, I hadn’t decided on the actual funeral arrangements.
Now that my mother’s funeral is in the rear-view mirror, I decided to take time out to plan my own. As there is only one Jewish cemetery near my home in Virginia, I went there a few weeks ago and picked out a plot. I was surprised that in March there was a sale. One doesn’t imagine that there would be sales on cemetery plots. I guess it’s essentially real estate that one uses in the future. During the afternoon, I had a few chuckles to myself. One of the funny moments was when the lady said, “Don’t you want to be up on the hill?” When I realized that the cost was three times what it cost to be lower down, I declined. The neighborhood looked just fine near the row of trees closer to the entrance. The people already buried there seemed to be “nice” people. Just imagine me standing there looking down at those already buried and thinking that they were fine for me to have as neighbors one day!
I told the lady helping me that I would take the spot available as I looked up and saw a beautiful cherry tree wondering if it would still be there some thirty years in the future when I felt it would be my time – God willing.
I signed the contract for the selected spot and all the extras that were required, including the headstone. That is also an interesting story. There are several grades of headstones each costing more – depending on style of lettering, borders and how much information was on there. I chose the basic one but had to have my name in both English and Hebrew. Of course, this is the Jewish section of the cemetery and having the Hebrew writing was an extra charge! This did seem very strange to me. I have the basic information of my birth date and the date of death is of course, TBD.
The contract will get paid for over 5 years. The next step was the funeral home.
I communicated with two different funeral homes and got pricing for a basic Jewish casket, ritual washing and the other basics that are required. That too was put on a five year contract.
In the end, no pun intended, the details of what I want are in place. Now the person who will handle things for me will know what to do and it will be mostly paid for. I say mostly because there are always last minutes charges. I expect to be living in the same area but could move. This organization does allow for that and will facilitate monies going to other services elsewhere. I’ve done the best job I can with really not knowing how it will go in the future. One cannot project manage everything.
But almost everything. I certainly do feel my mortality more than before. And I turned another year older in the process.
As always, comments are welcome.
Posted by intuitivelifecoachjoanne 
As we approached the highway entrance, an alarm on my cell phone caused me to say, “Stop and pull over”. I knew the sound of that siren type of alarm. It was used to indicate an emergency situation. In this case it was the NWS warning people to get off the road due to the impending dangerous weather, heavy rain and possible flooding. My reaction was immediate. I said, “No! I’m not going.” And we turned around and my friend drove the short distance back to my house.
e bucket to put under one of the larger spots. At first, I thought I had a leak and then soon realized it was a much bigger problem. Very soon the bucket became too heavy for me to lift so I found a smaller bucket to literally bail water from there into the bathroom toilet about 20 feet away. I repeated this maneuver for about 2 hours. At more than middle age, this became very tiring but I just couldn’t stop. The water was relenting. I finally let the water spill over the one bucket long enough for me to turn off every water valve I could find with little result. I figured I had a burst pipe as the weather had turned very cold just days before. The pipe must have frozen and when I came home from my trip and began to run water throughout the house essentially thawing the pipe, it burst from the pressure.
Joanne's StarTeacher Blog 
Help, Don’t Hurt
October 15, 2018There are so many times that people are passionate about an issue but their rantings only hurt the situation rather than helping it. We have a word in Jewish, Kvetching! And it is the equivalent of bitching, moaning and complaining consistently. So whenever we open our mouths to state our opinion, I’d like to suggest that we make constructive criticism meant to help rather than hurt all concerned.
In this article, I’d like to commend Queen Latifah for her recent commercial extolling the benefits of a good higher education. Apparently, as she explains, she’s achieved great success in life, but without the added benefit of a college education. From the sound of it, she feels and conveys in this ad, that with such advanced study, she may have had a better life, an easier time moving forward, or made more money earlier on. Now, of course, she’s well known as a prominent acting/singing personality and is making the big money as they say. But inwardly she still feels that a degree would be beneficial. To me, establishing all these benefits for her community and others at large is a great service to her listeners.
I would also like to contrast her approach with the radio announcer typically on at the same morning slot. I listen to a morning radio show that caters to a predominantly black audience. The announcer of this show has a segment that he calls “a Racial Observation” during which time he refers to events of the day that point to the divide between the black vs. the white community. Perhaps a white policeman arrested a black kid and used force or a woman was assaulted and the perpetrator not prosecuted….in any case the situations are always where he is pointing to racial tensions in this country. During other parts of this show, people are making fun of multiple baby mammas and kids going home to empty houses, being raised by single Moms who don’t know where the father of their children are…. The point here is that neither accountability nor responsibility is discussed, rather just how awful things are and how unfair the system is to his group.
Well I’m a senior and there are a lot of things that are unfair to me too, but rather than kvetch, I’d rather give charity to help others and send positive energy to law makers to make it better for all concerned. In the end, I believe I will be taken care of by the powers to be because I live a heart centered life guided by my faith.
So back to Queen Latifah:. I salute her effort to extol the virtues of a higher education because it is the pathway to getting a good job and making something of one’s self. I had to work hard for my degree and in the end it has served me well throughout my career. So doing what it takes to go to school at night or by day if possible is a great way to be accountable and take responsibility for one’s life. So the next time you have something to say, keep it helpful and not hurtful. Comments are always welcome.
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