Nature Finds a Way

August 3, 2025

For over 27 years I’ve watched my beautiful Japanese cut leaf maple tree develop its curved umbrella form in the backyard of my townhouse. Periodically, I would sit in my outside porch chair and just look at it as well as the surrounding trees from the neighboring Reston Association open wooded area just over my backyard fence. Sometimes I would even tell my tree how much I liked it. Unfortunately, a storm a few weeks ago took a few trees down from this wooded area, with one of them coming down right on my beautiful tree. In hitting my tree, the falling one essentially sliced my Japanese maple in half, severing one of the major branches and leaving a long “wound” down the side. To say that I was upset would be an understatement. What happened next is the subject of this article.

I was initially happy that the fallen trees didn’t hit my home. These same trees did hit the property of the neighbors to my left, just into their backyards, but only damaging their fences and not their homes perse. This was fortunate. The Reston Association was notified immediately; however, there were many trees down due to the storm, so it took several days for their support team to come out to cut the fallen trees into pieces to be removed and just let decay in their park area.

When I asked about their responsibility for what had happened to my tree I got the standard, “it was an act of God” and that they would essentially do nothing. As a tree maintenance company was already out one day talking to one of my neighbors, the kind man offered to make a clean slice where my tree had been “wounded”. At least that would give the tree some relief. To help, I put down some Epsom salt fertilizer hoping that added nutrients might help the tree to heal.

Each day I go outside and talk to my tree encouraging it to not give up and die since the leaves seem to be curling up as if they were dying. Then after a few weeks I began to see tiny new red sprouts of leaves that are very cute that are coming out from the bark, branches and everywhere on the tree. So, what looks like a dying tree that perhaps had a tree’s version of a heart attack, seems to be slowly recovering. It’s interesting to watch. There is no way to know if my words are helping it, but I keep trying. I hold on to a branch and tell it that I care about it and to “Live”. We have had very hot weather which has not helped the situation with the tree. Then there was a period of rain. Maybe that was good.

Nature has a will to survive, so perhaps my tree will make it. I really hope so. For now, my tree looks more like a tea cup with half of it present rather than the full umbrella that it once was. But the holographic form that used to be there is slowly coming back. Somehow the tree knows what it used to look like, something like a limb growing back after an amputation (if this were possible). I wonder what my tree will look like in a year. Will it regain its full umbrella? I hope so.

As always, comments are welcome.

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God Willing

August 27, 2024

When we are uncertain about how things will go, and we happen to be on the spiritual side, one might say, “God willing”. Therefore, this is a common expression and can be heard in many languages. I happen to be familiar with the Hebrew and the Arabic versions for example, indicating that the expression is part of not only the language but the associated religions which represents a good part of the world. I have an interesting story where I found a use to teach this expression to a tango instructor who was concerned about his monetary intake for the evening. Here is how it all went. I hope that you enjoy it.

There is a tango instructor that I like very much, and he hold dances at a local dance venue called Glen Echo Spanish ballroom. This location is quite beautiful, being of the Art Deco era, however it is not fully air conditioned. During this summer, what little A/C is installed wasn’t working making it very uncomfortable to dance. As a result, after various types of makeshift large hoses to pump air into the back room used for the tango dances, this instructor decided to move the August Sunday night events to another location.

I don’t attend every week, but I do enjoy the evenings with live music as a duo plays tango music that is wonderful for dancing. On this night, I went to the alternative location which was off the highway in what seemed like a wooded area. As I walked up to the doorway, which was lined with trees, I noticed that the signs were of both a church and a synagogue. For those not familiar, it is common for a church, which holds services on Sundays and a synagogue which holds services on Friday night and Saturday to share parking space and sometimes the actual building. I always find this interesting; firstly, that these two different religions can find each other at the time of construction and that the style of the building would suite both liturgies. In this case, no one else but me noticed that it was called both the Universalist Unitarian Church as well as the Beit Chai Congregation.

Rene, the instructor was concerned that the fees for dancing would not cover his expenses since this type of location, which did have a beautiful wood floor, was more expensive than the public facility that he normally used. I told him that I hoped that it would all work out and gave him back the $5 change from the $20 bill that I had handed him. It was fine. I was happy to just be there and dance. Most places do charge $20 anyway. There were other people that helped as well.

I enjoyed my dancing and, on the way, out, I said, “God Willing”, you will break even. Then I decided to teach him how to say this in Hebrew – “Baruch Hashem”. I walked back and said, “I’m going to teach you some powerful words that I believe will help you”. After all, it can’t hurt. He gratefully repeated the words.

The next day I got an excited text from Rene, “It worked!! I broke even”. Well, maybe he would have anyway, but it’s nice to thank God in any case.

As always, comments are welcome.

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My version of “The Notebook”

July 27, 2023

It’s understandable that parents don’t tell their kids everything about their lives when they were young, nor even everything that happens on a daily basis. But once they are gone, to find papers or in the movie, The Notebook, to find a volume that tells a story that no one else besides the characters knew about it, is pretty amazing. This is my version of The Notebook.

To set the stage, I was caregiver for my mother for the last 2.5 years of her life. My brother died during the pandemic and very shortly thereafter I went out to California, leaving my Virginia home for 10 months to directly tend to the needs of my mother. She didn’t want me to know how sick he was, that he wasn’t coming to visit her, that she was left to figure out how to get food via a guy that went grocery shopping for her, etc. etc. By the time I took over she was ten pounds under weight and not in good shape at all. She needed major dental work ($6,000) and lots of new clothes due to the lost weight. Of course, with my healthy cooking, vitamin program and general attention to her needs, she returned to her normal weight and for her age, vigor. I felt good about this and we enjoyed our time together. It wasn’t all fun. I cooked, cleaned, took her to the doctor and dealt with all of her needs. In addition, I found the weather there an issue in itself, especially when the temperature hit 120F. At that point, I told my mother that it was time for me to return to Virginia and my own home. I left the decision on her moving up to her. At this point, faced with living alone or coming with me, she chose the latter. I packed her up and moved as much of her things as would fit into her new place as I could.

It was a research project to find a wonderful senior building for her with lots of activities, quality dining room, and people with whom she could chat away. She also loved the porch to sit and look, not at palm trees as she did in California, but the greenery of Virginia. It was interesting to note, that my mom was now back in the state where she grew up. She started and ended her life in Virginia.

My mother lasted another year and a half until she passed due to a short illness. I did what I could to extend her life every day that was possible; providing people, activities and dealing with her needs. Anything she wanted I bought for her. That said, we didn’t do a lot of talking to each other. During this time, I mainly would visit and told her about what was going on in my life. I knew people and places that she’d experienced but not everything that ever happened to her. Every morning that I didn’t visit, I called and asked how she was doing? Then she asked how I was doing? That’s about the extent of our conversations. What came next really surprised me.

Once my mother died, I had to pack up her apartment, prepare for the funeral and send her body out to California for burial. I was operating on automatic putting one foot in front of the other, barely having time to process what was happening.

Only now, three months later, did I finally get to the packet of papers that together are the remnants of the memoir writing class that Mom took 10 years ago. The teacher in the class provided the students prompts and then each participant wrote a few sentences for paragraphs based on this idea to get them started. At that time, my mother told me that she was taking this class. She even read me a few of her writings over the phone, since she was living alone in California, being quite independent at the time. But to discover these writings now is blowing me away. You see, some of what she wrote, I didn’t know about. Such as her pet dog and what happened to him; or what her father, my grandfather did when he first came to the USA; there were other stories about how she loved the idea of being a teacher and role-played as a child. I knew that she taught school (yes, she became a teacher) but I didn’t know that it had been her dream to do so. As I read these papers, and there are many pages, I have to allow time to digest each one. Each one tells a story that I didn’t know about my mother. Details of her life that I’m finding out now, after she’s gone. Stories that she never told me, but she’s telling me now.

What’s even stranger, is boxes of shoes that I have in my closest are falling down. I pick them up and put them back and they fall down again. The same 3 boxes in a row fall down. I put them back up. Finally, I said, “Ma are you doing this? If you are stop and I’ll know that it’s you”. The boxes still came down. So, I tried putting one box back and it stayed. Then I put two boxes back and they stayed. I haven’t tried the three boxes yet, but I believe they will stay now. I believe that my mother is seeing how much I miss her, how I talk to her, look at her pictures over the years wondering where the years went, how my life has passed and she’s telling me that she’s here still watching over me. She doesn’t want me to be so upset. She wants me to carry on with my life, stoically as she always did. I’m not as strong as she was. No matter what happened, she carried on. Probably a leftover from the Depression. I miss her. There were things in our relationship that were broken but I did what I could to take care of her, to be kind, loving and a good daughter. In the end, she told me that I had been a good daughter and that she loved me.

What more can one ask for? Finding out these stories is just like The Notebook. It changes your life to find out things about a loved one after they die. It’s like they are continuing to talk to you.

As always, comments are always welcome.

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Not Knowing

April 18, 2022

I’m reading a book on Antisemitism that is the total of presentations for a conference of the same subject conducted at the University of Indiana this past Fall (2021). It’s written by Academics for Academics which makes sense since they present to each other. My issue with it is that the language is not easy for me to understand. I’m not putting myself down nor am I criticizing the presenters. When one is in a world, that’s the framework that these people have. But for those outside of this particular scope/perspective, it’s difficult to comprehend. It would be like trying to understand quantum physics without really studying it nor having a background in it.

Antisemitism

Why am I pointing this out? Because in reading this book of articles on Antisemitism, I’m learning all the things that I didn’t know about the subject. I must point out to my readers that I’m Jewish so I definitely know what it’s like to be Jewish and to have some people not like me for just being Jewish. I’ve also experienced people being really mean to me for being Jewish. In other words, I’ve experienced antisemitism without knowing the “definitions” of antisemitism nor understanding the academic framework surrounding the intellectual discussion of it.

Again, why is this important? Because not knowing, and then knowing about it opens a whole new world. Now that I know about all the ways that I was wronged in my life based on my being Jewish without realizing it, should I be even more upset than when the particular incident happened? In most cases, these incidents happened many years ago, but I’m coming to realize that many actions people are doing even more recently is actually because they don’t like my Jewishness; in other words, they are acting in an antisemitic way towards me. Does it make me feel any better or worse in knowing? Or in Not Knowing, being in ignorance of why people were being mean to me was it any better?

An interesting point is that most of the speakers who presented and who do present on antisemitism are not Jewish. So, it’s a conundrum to me how someone who isn’t Jewish and doesn’t have any Jewish blood is so taken with others not liking Jews to actually make it a field of study. Do people wonder about this or is it just me? There are many people all over the US and in other countries in this field of antisemitism that are not Israeli, nor Jewish and study this topic. What is their motivation? I see many names that appear to be Austrian, German, etc. Is there any correlation between the nationalities of the seekers with their reasons for studying such a subject when they are not connected to the situation, nor were they harmed by the subject except in concept. “When one of my fellow humans is wronged then so am I”. That’s pretty egotistical if I don’t say so myself. But I really have no idea why these academics are studying this topic so I can’t presume anything.

As I’ve continued my reading of this book, the answer to my questions is becoming more known to me: the speakers/authors are from countries involved in the holocaust and its aftermath. Again, from my readings I’m learning about how these countries are getting tired of apologizing for their involvement in the harming or not protecting more of their citizens from harm during the WWII destruction of so many Jewish lives.

Of course, people of many religions died during this period but most were killed during war times not just rounded up from their homes and murdered in one way or another. The systematic killing of six million Jews is horrific by any historical standard.

There appears to be a new generation of leaders that want to move away from apologizing and even accepting their past history to now shifting away from blame. In other words, they are attempting to change history. Not only are they re-writing what actually happened, but this new perspective is rationalizing the entire historical period away from their minds. Now it’s been done by “Others” and not “Them” so their people can breathe easier. With this new understanding, I can see why some of the authors are taking a stand on the resultant antisemitism that is arising out of this, well it’s not us, but them at fault. Again, it’s the Jews who are at fault. In other words, antisemitism is more on the rise than ever.

Of course, many people study ancient Roman culture and they have nothing to do with ancient romans. They didn’t live at that time nor are they responsible for anything that happened then but they still study this period in history. So, I guess if people want to study about another group of people and why others hate them, it’s ok.

As for my understanding what it’s like to be Jewish and to totally feel what it’s like to have been persecuted during the war, let me say that most of my relatives were killed during the holocaust. I believe that this point makes me able to say that I feel the pain of the persecution through the fact that I have so little family left. I especially am reminded of this fact on holidays and when people tell me that they’re about to visit cousins or other family members. I do have some family but only because those members of my family that did come over in the early 1900’s have married and had kids and they have had kids so there are a few generations in the US. Unfortunately, anyone that stayed behind is no longer.

As I continue my reading into this fascinating book and my NOT KNOWING becomes MORE KNOWING, I’m learning how more of the same old perspective that got Jews rammed into pogroms in the late 19th century is recurring; in addition, it contributed to the “it’s ok to kill the Jews because they caused all the ills going on in society thinking” is again gaining momentum. This is really news to me so my NOT KNOWING here is blowing my mind. Apparently, people just don’t learn from history. Are we going to have another world war over it? Do we have to have more lives lost like before? Or is this craziness the reason that non-Jews recognize the reason to fight against antisemitism before it’s too late? As this is a huge subject, for now, I’ll leave it as the answer. We all need to use our own minds and not be led like sheep to the slaughter by those that wish to tear down the very fabric of our society – (even with it’s edges and curves!)

Comments or questions are welcome.

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Role Reversal

November 29, 2021

In this blog article I’m going to address the stage in life where the kids are taking care of the parents to the extent where the line of who is the parent and who is the child becomes blurred. This is a subject that is hitting close to home at the moment as I move further along the path of caring for my aging mother, now pushing beyond 94 years old.

I never had children of my own although I was married for a considerable number of years. As my marriage was always rocky, I didn’t want to bring a child into the world under a disadvantaged situation right from the start. I know that some people think that a baby will solve marital issues but I wasn’t of that mind. Anyway, that’s a subject for a different day. As life would have it, I seemed to have taken care of other people’s children along my life’s path. For several years, I had my ex-husband’s niece and nephew living with us when we first got married. They were teenagers, so I had the rebellion stage with which to attend. Then, later, I had the kids of my friends that I’d baby sit, so I became familiar with 5-10 year olds. I once taught school for middle kids so I had to learn what made them tick. In the end, I never had to feed, clothe, and shelter my own children. But the universe had a way of teaching me what this would have been like in a very surprising way, at least for me.

My parents moved out west closer to my brother as my father came down with Alzheimer’s disease. He passed in 2007 with my mother caring for him until the last day. Then she had to fend for herself with my brother looking in on her periodically. As the years went by, I travelled to her condo in Southern California to visit for a few days first yearly, then multiple times per year, then every 3 months. It may not seem like a lot but there was the week of preparation to leave my own home and my cat at the time, the actual trip and then the catching up afterwards. It was about a month of time for me dedicated to the one trip. My family never saw it that way. For them, it was just the few days I was out there. But when I was with my mother, it was 24/7. They would come over to my Mom’s place, bring some food, like bagels and feel like they had done their job. When I visited, I cooked, sometimes cleaned and took her places. I began to feel that I was really taking care of her. Then there were times that she wasn’t well during my visits when I had to take her to the doctor. A few times I had to take her in for an elective procedure – like her cataract surgery. During other times, she had illnesses like bronchitis or swollen legs wherein I had to take her to the doctor. Meanwhile, my doctor brother was at home oblivious to what I was handling for my mother. He never accepted that I was really helping him take care of her. Again, the universe had a strange twist of fate.

My brother, yes the same one that was a doctor, came down with cancer. He valiantly fought it for close to eight years, but in the end it took him down. Probably his poor eating habits, exercising very little and maintaining a very stressful practice as well as his private life didn’t help any either. His children and wife all had huge expectations of the lifestyle they wanted to lead and he was the breadwinner and played that role until his last day. He refused to stop working until he was totally incapacitated. In other words, retirement was not in his vocabulary. Well, rather unexpectedly, again  from my perspective, my younger brother who lived close to my mother died.

I was next in line to care for my aging mother. I quickly went out to California and began the role of primary caregiver for her, except it wasn’t a visit now, it was full time. To the surprise of the rest of the family (his wife and kids) I began to live there just returning home long enough to take care of my own home. This went on for 10 months with me doing all the activities of daily living for my mother; this included making her healthy meals, shopping to make sure food was in the house, maintaining the cleanliness of the condo to my standards (which included steaming the floors twice weekly for example), doing the laundry twice weekly and running her to all her appointment regardless of whether they were for doctors or to get her nails done. There’s a reason that people don’t have children at 70 years old. Being responsible for another person at this age is seriously tiring. I was more than tired. I was exhausted. Multiply what I was doing at her house with flying home and in a couple weeks, catching up at my house and then flying back to start all over again.

As time went on, my mother’s condition began to decline making it necessary to have outside support for just a few hours daily when I went away. After several trips and the world coming out of the pandemic, I decided that it was best to move my mother closer to me in Virginia. Understanding how stressed I was and that I was not going to fly back and forth forever, she agreed to move. Then I had to find a really nice place for her, pack her things, move her and then unpack her. Is this so different than a child leaving home and the parent helping them to move?

Although my Mom loved the place I chose and everyone quickly learned her name, her health took a turn for the worse within a few months. She had several falls, landed in the hospital for 4 days and the following month went on oxygen. Apparently all the years of smoking finally caught up with her. Well at 94.5 years old one can’t say that it shortened her life by much. She’s very lucky that my father made her stop smoking about 30 years ago. Unfortunately, she did gain about 30 pounds which she’s since lost over time with great difficulty. Currently, other medical problems are popping up. I still feel that for a woman that’s almost 95 years old, she’s led a fairly healthy life up to now with only a few medical blimps on the screen. Watching her decline in mental health is disheartening to say the least. Day by day she’s loosing cognitive ability to the extent that someone needs to watch her in the afternoon. There are activities were people come in during the morning hours and again at night so this is the main time for care coverage.

So just like a young child, that one must watch, make sure they brush their teeth, change their underwear, put on their glasses, go to the doctor and stay out of trouble, I’m watching and helping my mother. I get snacks for her in kid’s sizes, even giving her the twist off top yogurts that she really likes. She loves peanut butter and jelly on crackers, bananas and simple food. She’s eating more complicated food like salad less and less. I cut up her meat for her, but she’s eating about half of a portion these days. I open snack packs of nuts/raisins into a little bowl and she likes that. She sits in her recliner chair and closes her eyes most of the day.

Recently I bought an Amazon Echo Dot speaker where I can say, “Alexa, play Frank Sinatra for one hour”. She seems to really enjoy listening to her era of music and it appears to be very calming for her. I’m learning how to use this little device to provide wake up notices and alerts to go to the door to get her breakfast at a certain time as she can easily forget that it’s been delivered.

So now you have it- Food, clothing and shelter are now my responsibilities and all things in between. When her hearing aid gets lost I have to figure out how to get another one. I buy her new clothes and a new coat as it’s much colder here than where she came from. She still likes to sit in the sun on the front porch but there are few days when it’s warm enough for her as we approach December in Virginia.

As I leave my Mom after each visit, I wonder how much longer she has to live. Each day brings us closer to the last day. The thought tears at my heart every time I leave. I’ve also learned that as a caregiver, I can get lost in what I have to do for her, so I try to squeeze in some exercise and outside activities. All of this is not so different that a parent taking care of a child.

If this isn’t role reversal, what is? Everyone that lives long enough watches their parents’ age.  It’s just really hard when it’s your turn. Comments are always welcome.

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How Giving Back Helped Me Pay it Forward

August 23, 2016

Little did I know when I started interacting with a new friend last winter that it would lead to my fulfilling one of my life goals; which is to give back to the community after a very rewarding professional career in IT project management.  I decided that I needed to share some of what I had learned throughout my many years in the corporate world to foster workplace performance. Not only had I never lost a project due to my well-developed PM skills, I had loyal and dedicated teams. Sure, this may sound boastful, but it’s true. Being grateful for the experience, I wanted to offer tools and techniques that I had gleaned to others as my legacy to contribute to the improvement of corporate culture.

kids

Volunteering my skills and offering workshops turned out not to be so easy. After several lengthy failed attempts involving writing proposals, offering startup funds to get my “Enlightened Leadership” concepts into my university curriculum, and then to my spiritual organization’s mindful leadership program to no avail, the successful situation actually came to me. When my friend wasn’t able to take an assignment, he suggested that I coach summer school for kids. I had co-coached with him for several months providing me with a basic understanding of how to work with the kids, but teaching multiple times per week for eight weeks was a totally different situation. After a very brief negotiation with the head mistress of the learning center, I had to design 18 classes with only 10 days’ notice. It was at this point that I decided to use the backdrop of what I had wanted to present to the older group, just on a more modified scale.

My philosophy was to start with the youth teaching the basics of interpersonal skills, time management and planning projects as a foundation for being a more informed participant in the workplace. Hopefully, these skills learned at a young age would help these students grow into adults with better emotional intelligence as well as analytical understanding of the requirements they might face later. This material was ground breaking for 6th and 7th graders. And my interactive, problem solving and team-oriented style was new to them. That said, eventually we all got used to the program; I adjusted to them and in turn, they got used to speaking to each other and thinking more analytically. By the end of the eight weeks, the kids were all writing and presenting on the elements of a project plan using a model familiar to them – the five questions: Why? Where? Who? What? When? One of my life goals is now accomplished. I did it and they did it!

As I finished the summer session, I wondered what would come next only to see a brief article in the local paper advertising for STEMS (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) volunteers to help local teachers in the school system. I applied and was quickly accepted. My training is in a few weeks. So on to the next chapter of paying it forward to give back. My experience has been both exhilarating and exhausting. I expect the next experience with coaching kids to be equally rewarding.

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Doing the Right Thing

March 8, 2016

Life can be complicated. Heck, it’s most often complicated. And on top of it there is usually more than one way to get things done. When we look at all the variables and the options to attack our problems, sometimes there are short cuts, ways around the issues, or even methods that may be a bit nefarious. Ah oh! What happens when we choose to cut corners, snip a bit off the end of something to save time or take the low road rather than the high road? This is called taking the easy way out and is not the spiritual way; that is, thinking or doing in this manner will not serve us in the long run. Anything that doesn’t serve us, certainly doesn’t serve our soul growth, so why do it?

This leads us to a better understanding of doing the right thing. It’s obviously not easy to do the right thing when there are other options. If there were only one option, it would be easy. But this isn’t the way the world was built. We are usually given challenges so that we come out of the situation stronger than when we went in. As souls in a body, we’re given a choice – we can move towards the higher path towards the light or take the low road towards the darkness. Without a choice, there would be no challenges and therefore no way to ever overcome difficulties; thus, we would be in a world where we wouldn’t know the difference between the light or the darkness. So when we have issues, understand that these problems are not thorns in your side, but opportunities to grow and become stronger. Without hills to climb our legs would never have a chance to know their limits for example. The same is true of our spiritual and moral bodies. Only by stretching our limits can we grow, become better people and move forward on our spiritual path.

lightdarkIn the end, doing the right thing may be harder, but it is usually more rewarding. This has been my experience. I’ve found that with challenges in my life, moving through the tunnel of difficulty eventually brings me to the light; how wonderful it feels to get there. And, often there are unexpected rewards. It’s also my experience that when we follow the light and do the right thing, goodness follows us also.

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Yellow Power Issues

June 19, 2013

The generally accepted chakra system of energy centers associates a color with each of the seven centers as red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet (ROYGBIB). Thus, the third chakra at the solar plexus is associated with the color yellow. Other characteristics associated with this energy center are being in one’s power, creativity and prosperity when working properly. If the third chakra isn’t functioning properly, the opposite values of these characteristics would prevail – such as not being in one’s power, being stagnant and being in scarcity.

So what does all this mean to us in the everyday world?  Quite often, people are drawn to the color of the energy that they lack or need in order to balance their energy. So, if an individual is lacking in power, or otherwise feel less than or powerless, they could be drawn to wearing yellow. Does it mean that every person we see that’s wearing yellow on a specific day is not in their power? Not necessarily, but it does mean that the color that someone is wearing could possibly be a point of consideration depending on the circumstances.

What is an example of someone wearing yellow indicating a power issue? I recently attended a class and the woman that sat next to me walked in wearing yellow from head to toe. She had on yellow pants, shirt, socks and even her purse was a yellow leather. Wow! I think this woman had more yellow-colored wear on than anyone I had ever seen. Now, like I said before, I didn’t think anything of it just based on this one description, but the plot thickened as the expression goes. When we gave our introductions, she made a very specific point of emphasizing how important her job, her position, her travels, her situation and yes, her life was to the world. I guess I’m exaggerating, but this is how it sure sounded to me. I was very impressed with just our totally impressed she was with herself by the sound of her introduction. It was quite clear how she viewed herself. So why was she wearing yellow? Was it just a happenstance; a coincidence of chosen wardrobe for the day? Let’s take a closer look.

As the day progressed, we had to make decisions about how we would move forward with our learning that we were expected to gain over the two-day training. To my total surprise, when this woman was put to the question, she refused to indicate a willingness to commit to totally moving forward. She disavowed one issue after the next in her life as reasons for why she wasn’t ready to move forward. Really?  I began to realize that when one is truly in their power, they don’t let issues dissuade them from moving forward, at least not conceptually. One stays in a positive space and just deals with issues as the normal challenges of life. She was showing her true state – she wasn’t in her power at all.

The underlying cause of the situation

My theory about wearing yellow when one needs the energy of the color was dead on – she needed the energy of power in any way she could get it. Feeling my energy and that I am in my power, seemed to be a threat to her. Since I read energy on a regular basis, I was quite aware of her reaction. My suspicions were confirmed when she tried to get others to join her creating a clique and dividing the group while getting others to join her energy. This is behavior of someone that is totally not in their power and needs the energy of others to feel secure. I really felt bad for her since she was clueless of how juvenile her behavior appeared to me (I’m not sure about the others involved as I can’t speak for them).

In the end, wearing yellow was most assuredly a sign of a power issue and of not actually being in power.

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May it be written

October 2, 2012

The ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipper, are called the days of atonement since we are to ask for forgiveness not only for our own misgivings, but for the rest of the world as well. We do this even for those we don’t like, even our enemies, since we are all children of God. Thus, it is a time to assess our lives, be grateful for our blessings and to ask for a sweet year – one represented by health and happiness.

While sitting in synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, happily listening to the sound of the shofar during the morning service, I noticed something in need of attention. The cloth upon which the Torah (the Bible in Hebrew) scrolls were being read was old and faded. It just didn’t seem appropriate for such a revered setting. The curtain covering the box or Ark of the Covenant which contained the other Torah scrolls was beautiful, deep blood- red velvet, with deeply embroidered design. In comparison, this table covering didn’t match up and was sorely in need of replacing, in my estimation.

My mind began working. As the words of the service passed by me, “We ask for forgiveness for…” my thoughts went, “I wonder how much fabric and trim would be to make the Rabbi a new table cloth for the Torah scrolls?” And then I continued, “But should I even think of such a thing? Maybe the fabric will be too expensive for me. Or, perhaps I won’t buy the right kind of fabric for such an important undertaking. “And, “Who am I to think that I could make such a cloth worthy of the Rabbi and the synagogue?” Then, I came back to more positive thinking and decided to wait until the end of the service and ask the Rabbi for his opinion.

“Rabbi, am I allowed to make you a new cover for the table where you read the Torahs?” I asked. His face brightened at the thought, since he recognized the state of his current cover and although he was a modest person, he seemed happy at the prospect of a new one for his simple synagogue. He responded that yes it was fine. I qualified my offer with being able to find fabric that I could afford and that was appropriate. Before I left, he came over to me and again mentioned the cloth. I knew he approved of my offer which made me smile inwardly. Since it was a religious holiday, I couldn’t do any serious measuring. Thus, I merely used the length from my wrist to my elbow knowing that it was approximately one foot. This is how I figured out the size of the cloth to be about six feet by six feet.

As I left the synagogue I said a little prayer, “God, if this is something that I’m supposed to do, help me find fabric that is suitable that I can afford.” I fixed a price in my head. When I went to the shop to actually look for fabric, I told the shopkeeper of my creative project and he began to help me. I couldn’t find velvet in the right color so I had to find another alternative. The shopkeeper went into this work room and came out with a gorgeous tapestry fabric that looked quite regal and contained the deep blood red that would match the synagogue’s Ark curtains. The only problem was that it was on the small side. I then figured out that about 12 inches all around would be a good border in a gold color and would add enough fabric to be the correct size. As luck would have it, he came out with a  bolt of gold dupioni silk. There was exactly 2 yards left on this bolt and when we did the calculations, it was just enough to add the border! Wow, the two fabrics matched together beautifully. Then I needed gold tassel trim. The shopkeeper found some trim and gave me a good price. Since the other fabrics were end of the bolt, he gave me a remnant price. All together the price came to exactly half of the figure I had had in my head for fabric that would have been several hundred dollars retail. Including my work the tablecloth would be valued at close to $400. I was very happy.

Next came the construction of the table cloth. To say it was a labor of love is an understatement. With the added work of the border and the fact that I wanted to line it (I just happened to have lining material at home), it took me close to 30 hours of sewing! In the end, the Torah scroll table cover turned out beautiful, the Rabbi was thrilled when I gave it to him in time for Yom Kippur, and I felt like I had done a mitzvah (good deed) to be sure. In addition, I wrote a dedication to my father’s memory on the lining which the Rabbi said was very special.

My creative project turned out to be divinely inspired, guided and blessed. Hopefully, I’m forgiven for any transgressions over this past year. But, rest assured, I didn’t do it for that reason. I did it because I felt the urge and decided it was the right thing to do.

3 Comments | Creativity, Inspiration, inspirational stories, Law of Abundance, Spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Permalink
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It’s Either Fear or Love

September 21, 2012

If you’ve been following my writings perhaps you remember me saying that “fear and love” cannot be active at the same time. But this is a topic that deserves repeating. Let’s start off with a definition:

What does it mean, “It’s either fear or love?”

Fear is active from our second energy center which is also where our drivers of sex, power, and money originate. It is also where anxiety as well as illness begins. Love, on the other hand, comes from the heart, the fourth energy center. Only when the heart is open can we be in a loving, caring, nurturing state. When fear is operating, the heart is closed and so not open to the positive energy that is possible.

 Why are we in fear?

When we are afraid that we’re not good enough, we shut out possibility. Being afraid only causes the energy of fear to multiply and come back in the way of chaos to harm us. How can this be the case?

Let’s say that you decide to start a business but are afraid you won’t be successful. The next thing you know events start happening that take up your time, while preventing you from moving forward with your vision. Thus, your fear has a self-fulfilling prophetic impact on your life.

Now let’s change the attitude to one of belief in yourself. By sending out positive thoughts such as I can do this or I deserve this because I’m a good person; I know my field and I am capable (all essentially coming from a love perspective, you set up the energy of positive events to come back to you. The next thing you know, opportunities are presented that allow you to fulfill your vision and you are successful.

Another example is with relationships: We may not be going out thinking, “Why bother, I won’t meet anyone anyway?” This is fear taking over when really the attitude is one of I’m not good enough.  The playing out is much like the above scenario. We don’t go out, there’s no opportunity to meet any new people, and thus the self-fulfilling prophesy takes over. If we change the attitude to, “I’ll go out and just have fun; while I’m out perhaps I’ll meet someone”, this positive outlook is inviting and will most likely attract new opportunities. And so it goes.

Why not try recognizing the fear for what it is, the shadow self, attempting to hold us back from moving forward with new opportunity. Let go of the fear and open space for love to enter your life.

Leave a Comment » | chakras, Inspiration, inspirational stories, Law of Abundance, Overcoming fear, personal development, Spirituality, universal principles | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Permalink
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